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To be sad that I won't see my family at Christmas?

(9 Posts)
CruCru Tue 11-Nov-14 16:00:37

This year, my inlaws are coming to ours for Christmas but my family aren't. I asked my family but they didn't want to come this year (they came last year).

I like my inlaws a lot, they are very kind and the kids love them. I know that Christmas is only two days but it often feels as though we are recreating my inlaws original family Christmas rather than doing our own (really small things that aren't important).

To be honest, my inlaws are a lot more "jolly" than my family and we will have a nice time.

Mehitabel6 Tue 11-Nov-14 22:24:29

It sounds fair to me- it would be unfair to have one side all the time. Things change- they are bound to.if your ILs are coming to you then just do it your way.

MsAspreyDiamonds Wed 12-Nov-14 05:41:52

Can you arrange the day differently from your in-laws so it's more yours rather than a carbon copy of theirs?

Just a few ideas:
Restaurant/hotel meal rather than home for lunch

If you are cooking at home, than move the meal to a different time than at your inlaws. Eg main meal at 5pm instead of 1pm, you can serve the starter as a light lunch at 1pm.

Invite extended family/friends at a loose end so it feels less like an inlaw Christmas. If your inlaws are fun then adding similar people should hopefully add to the dynamic. I like to mix up different people from different parts of my life.

Serve different food. These are just a few ideas, I am sure you will have a lovely time what ever you wish to do.

Mehitabel6 Wed 12-Nov-14 07:04:34

I would plan the day so it is Christmas your way rather than replicate theirs.

NorwaySpruce Wed 12-Nov-14 07:13:02

In what way is the day a replay of your inlaw's Christmas?

Is it because your partner carries on their old traditions (fair enough, we all do really), or because your family haven't anything planned, so the in-law's take up the slack?

It's different if visitors are forcing their ideas upon you, but if you already have a plan/way of doing things, just go with that, while being hospitable enough to make the ILs comfortable too.

LadyLuck10 Wed 12-Nov-14 07:58:30

I think it's fair, your parents came last year and this year it's IL's. Presumably last year you did things more according to your family's way of Xmas? So now your DH should get the same.

skylark2 Wed 12-Nov-14 08:33:27

We have Christmas my inlaws' style when they're there and my family's style when they're there. We alternate years.

I don't think it's reasonable for either side of the family to expect to have all their own family traditions every year.

Mehitabel6 Wed 12-Nov-14 08:35:33

As adults with your own family make your own.

Mehitabel6 Wed 12-Nov-14 08:36:59

It is only the Royal family who get everyone, every year, their way- and even that is changing.

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