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To be upset by my boss telling me off by email and CCing colleafues

(16 Posts)
AnotherEmma Tue 11-Nov-14 10:41:39

I'm really upset because my boss has emailed me and CC'd various colleagues telling me off about something. In my opinion it's not a huge mistake but I replied to her email to apologise - I also made a suggestion - then she emailed again (CC'ing another person) telling me off some more. Clearly she is annoyed, and she is out of the office so she couldn't talk to me face to face, but I think it would have be kinder to email me privately or have a word when she's back in the office.
AIBU? I sent a reply saying "I get it. Have apologised. I don't think a group email was the kindest way to give me the feedback sad" which I realise was probably a TERRIBLE idea. But I'm so sick of working with her, she doesn't give me any support, she is disorganised, very rarely thanks me or says well done, and then does things like this sad

PhoebeMcPeePee Tue 11-Nov-14 10:42:47

I think that was a perfect response grin

TarkaTheOtter Tue 11-Nov-14 10:43:28

I think this is completely inappropriate and could be construed as bullying if you wanted to complain about her.

reddaisy Tue 11-Nov-14 10:44:29

This kind of thing really gets on my nerves and is becoming more common I think. I like your response, workers are not robots.

hesterton Tue 11-Nov-14 10:44:30

You haven't been rude. You have only said how you feel - I don't think that reply is anything bad. She sounds rather difficult - could you suggest a meeting to discuss exactly what she feels you could be doing better and why/how as she seems so disgruntled with you?

Notbythehaironmychinnychinchin Tue 11-Nov-14 10:44:50

Woah, no I'd be fuming!

The ONLY justification is if she was saying "Emma, youve done ABC but actually it was DEF which was required - Lisa please can you pick this up as DEF actually falls into your area". Even then, it's not ideal, but understandable if she was pushed for time and it was urgent and needed to give the other people context.

If she was just including the others in a general telling off with no constructive reason for them to be privvy to it then that stinks.

AnotherEmma Tue 11-Nov-14 11:05:55

Thanks everyone for your replies. She emailed back to say sorry and also explain that she wasn't sure whether the issue was my responsibility or my colleague's - which still doesn't explain why she copied everyone else in, but it does reassure me that it wasn't a personal attack.

quietbatperson Tue 11-Nov-14 11:55:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

championnibbler Tue 11-Nov-14 11:59:56

i had this happen to me once before and it was very embarrassing.
Keep a hard copy and email copy of this for future reference.

ILovePud Tue 11-Nov-14 12:00:52

YANBU, that's really unprofessional and just bad management. For what it's worse there's been a couple of times when I've been cc'd into someone being 'told off' and it's always made me think less of the person sending the e-mail rather than the person receiving it.

AnyFucker Tue 11-Nov-14 12:03:54

That falls under the category of workplace bullying. You did right to address it. Copy the emails and save for if this becomes a regular occurrence.

MissBlennerhasset Tue 11-Nov-14 12:43:05

I agree, keep everything and if it escalates after this incident where you've clearly stated that you don't like this you need to go to HR.

I had a boss who did this to me a few times. I politely asked him to stop - actually I asked him to discuss things face to face with me - but he wasn't a people person and preferred PA communication.

It stopped after the following exchange: I had emailed him saying something like "Hi Jeff, just to let you know XYZ has been completed and is waiting for your signature."

He replied, CCing about ten others, saying "Can you please address me as Jeffrey, NOT Jeff. I do not answer Jeff."

I replied all saying "No problem. However your email signature says "Jeff Smith" so you might want to change that."

He never did it again...

bodhranbae Tue 11-Nov-14 12:46:49

Your reply was absolutely perfect. Professional and concise.

She may be your boss but it does not entitle her to belittle and embarrass you.

FryOneFatManic Tue 11-Nov-14 12:47:37

Very unprofessional, especially given her response that she wasn't even sure it was your responsibility.

Another vote for keeping all correspondence on this. If I were a colleague cc'd into this email, I'd not think very highly of the manager.

AnotherEmma Tue 11-Nov-14 13:03:47

To be fair the wording of the email was "why didn't this happen" rather than "Emma why didn't you do this" but given that I accepted responsibility and replied, the email she sent in response was implicitly directed at me... if that makes sense?! She probably should have said something along the lines of "Please can we clarify who has responsibility for xxx so we make sure it doesn't get missed again."

I recently started managing someone who said I'm a good manager and she assumed I had experience of managing people - I don't really (apart from interns) but I have learned what NOT to do from previous managers!

AnotherEmma Tue 11-Nov-14 13:07:20

PS MissBlennerhasset Love your story! You did exactly the right thing! What an idiot man.

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