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to want to see each other more often?

(16 Posts)
wangernumb Mon 10-Nov-14 19:32:35

Am really happy with my boyfriend but currently we only spend eow together, and one night in the week. I know that's more than many people get, but we do seem to spend all week missing each other, and any time we spend together goes by in a flash!

I can't work out a way for us to get more time together though, he has his DC 2-3 nights a week (when I also have mine) and plays sport another 2 nights. Every night is either spent on sports, with me or with his DC.

Living together is something we've talked about, but we see that as something longer term (years rather than months away), in the meantime do I just need to woman up and appreciate what I've got?

wangernumb Mon 10-Nov-14 21:09:50

Anyone? Or shall I take that as a yes, I need to get over myself!

Thebodynowchillingsothere Mon 10-Nov-14 21:11:47

Does he want up see you more?

wangernumb Mon 10-Nov-14 21:19:14

Yes, we both really miss each other. It's just the logistics that are defeating us.

We live about 45 mins apart which doesn't help either.

Thebodynowchillingsothere Mon 10-Nov-14 21:20:23

And I mean that nicely op.

ElfLottery Mon 10-Nov-14 21:21:22

Op, I completely know where you are coming from as I'm in a similar position. Agree that you need to find out if he wants to spend more time together, then, assuming he does, maybe discuss spending evenings all together. You, him, his DC and yours. Would that work?

wangernumb Mon 10-Nov-14 21:27:32

The distance would make it quite difficult to spend weekday evenings together, he picks up his DC at 6ish, it would take him til gone 7 to get to mine and as they go to bed at 8 by the time he got here it would be time to leave!

ElfLottery Mon 10-Nov-14 21:34:46

How about your DC, do they go to bed at a similar time?

Thebodynowchillingsothere Mon 10-Nov-14 21:35:02

Couldn't you meet up with the children on a night? Have they been introduced? Xx

wangernumb Mon 10-Nov-14 21:43:34

My DC go to bed later as they are older, however us going to him on a weekday wouldn't work either, as I don't get home til 6.30/7, we wouldn't get to his til 8 (by when his DC would be in bed anyway).

The DC have met briefly. We are intending to try and meet up with both sets on the weekend, but what with my DC sporting commitments and homework, and his DC often have parties and playdates, it's take longer than expected to arrange. Our DC are some years apart in age too, so their needs are quite different.

riverboat1 Mon 10-Nov-14 21:45:30

The sport is the obvious thing that could give. How much does it mean to him? Every now and then could he do only one session a week as opposed to two?

Also, what is stopping you spending time together more weekends than just eow? Do you feel you haven't been together long enough to do something together with both sets of kids?

ElfLottery Mon 10-Nov-14 21:47:08

One evening could he pick his DC up earlier, come to yours, you all have dinner and then he takes his home to go to bed?

Could you meet him before or after his sport thing for a coffee/drink?

Could you and your DC meet him and his DC one of the weekends you are not normally together?

riverboat1 Mon 10-Nov-14 21:48:59

You might get some good tips on the stepparenting board about strategies and activities for when the age range of two sets of kids is very wide. Bowling often comes up as a good activity.

ElfLottery Mon 10-Nov-14 21:49:21

Oops x post.

wangernumb Mon 10-Nov-14 22:03:59

The sport is super important to him, he was quite unfit a few years ago so getting into sport and regaining his fitness was/is really important to him. I have suggested him coming to me afterwards but as it doesn't finish til after 10 (and is in the opposite direction to my house) by the time he got to me it would be close to midnight. So it's a possibility but not a very practical one.

We are intending to do stuff with DC at weekends, it's just been difficult to find a day when they're all free, especially as its eow. Bowling is a good idea, thanks.

The problem with him coming to mine earlier is that as we both work ft it would rely on us both having to ask to leave work early - that's possible but not something either of us could do regularly, more as a oneoff.

wangernumb Tue 11-Nov-14 09:23:43

The only other option I can see is to start thinking about moving in together. But that's not something either of us had planned for a few years yet.

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