To think that you just don't do this?

[Sockstealer]

Last night the house was a mess after a busy weekend. The throw was on the floor and when I picked it up there was a big spider on it. Dp put the spider inside one of ds toy tubs to put outside later.

Half an hour later dp and I thought we'd better have a quick tidy up so he did the sitting room while I did the kitchen. I came back in and he'd put all ds toys back in the tub. I asked him about the spider and first he said he'd put it out the window and then out the door.

I knew he'd done neither as I'd heard neither being opened, and I could just tell.

He then admitted he'd forgotten about the spider, couldn't be bothered to empty the tub and best to just leave it to die and it would fall out next time ds plays or next time I'm sorting the toys.

Aibu to think that this is just not something you'd do? It's probably trivial but he does similar things all the time and it winds me up.

[youareallbonkers]

Why didn't you put the spide out when you picked up the throw?

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

I wouldn't even give it a second thought. It's a spider. It will have made it's own way out during the night.

[Agrestic]

Why didn't you set it free?

[Sockstealer]

Fair point I'm arachnophobic I got a fright and dropped it, dp is scared of them too though not as much as me hence putting it in the tub before it disappeared.

[Sockstealer]

I would have put it outside it was more the fact that he put all the toys back in the box on top of the spider, I don't think it could have got out so there would have likely been a dead spider left in there.

I'm probably just being stupid over a non incident it's just he keeps being really slobby and then denying it so I suppose it's all just irritating me.

[ClangerOnaComeDown]

Just let it die?

Not nice.

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

No it wouldn't die because of a few toys! They're masters of escape. They can roll up really tiny....and get out of little mini cracks and crevices. They even survive being washed down the plughole!

[Thebodynowchillingsothere]

Think you both need to be a bit nicer to each other and our furry friends

[Winterbells]

So did one of you set it free or is it still in the tub waiting to be found by your son next time he plays with his toys?

I think it's an absolutely stupid thing to do and your husband is a lazy fool.
I am terrified of spiders but I'm not cruel to them. They demolish tons of other household pests.


Get one of these.

[EverythingsRunningAway]

There is no way the spider will just patiently wait in the tub until it dies.

It's probably already gone.

Unless he crushed it with a toy...

[HouseAtreides]

Poor spider. Their bodies are amazingly complex, I always feel a bit sad when people indiscriminately kill them. Could you empty the tub out onto something outside? If it's still alive it will make its escape. If it's been killed then it won't surprise your son next time he empties his toys out. I love spiders but dead ones are all kinds of creepy.

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

Yes. I can't do with spider murder either. But I wouldn't call it a stupid thing to do at all! It's only a spider and they can look after themselves!

[Sockstealer]

Yes in the end he begrudgingly tipped the toys back out and put it outside. But then told me I could put the toys back as he'd already done it once, albeit on top of the spider.

I suppose I just couldn't understand why he'd fill the toy box on top of the spider with the view that it would just die in there, then pretend he'd put it outside already.

I could have just done it myself but dp was doing that room, and I am very very scared of them. Didn't fancy tipping Lego out for spider to dart across the floor, or worse put my hand in!

All sounds so ridiculous now, as I say I think it's just because he's always saying he's done things that he hasn't and vice versa. Leaving back door unlocked, leaving lights on in empty rooms, wee on the toilet seat, met with complete denial.

And in my defence I am in charge of catching anything with wings or risk the house being trashed by dp running around flapping his arms or trying to catch a daddy long legs with a can of Raid and the hoover.

[Sockstealer]

Don't they struggle to get out of slippery places? Isn't that why they get stuck in the bath tub?

We both assumed it wouldn't just get out as it was inside a deep slippery plastic tub.

I didn't fancy sorting the Lego from the dead spider.

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

They appear in baths via the drain. THey climb up it. They can just as easily climb back down again.

[SilentAllTheseYears]

I hate spiders with a vengeance, we found a false widow in the house the other day. I was tempted to kill it but I couldn't do it - it went out behind the shed instead :(

[Sockstealer]

this info does say that it's impossible for them to come up through the plug hole because of the ubend. And that they get in by falling in.

[OnlyLovers]

I think the lying to you about what he did is quite strange, as is the decision to just leave a spider to die. That's quite ghoulish.

On the other hand, I'm crippled by indecision these days because I seem to keep reading that if you chuck spiders out of a window they squish, and if you put house spiders out they die because they can't live outside. I don't know if either of these are true, but I'm dreading the next time I want to capture and put out a spider!

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

Lovers leaving a spider in a toy box is not "leaving it to die" It's not like he threw it in a pot of boiling water ffs!

Maybe the OP is a bit fussy...her post seems to suggest that. And that's why he lied. For a simple life.

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

Sock I suppose it could have snuck down there via the bath but I don't see how a u bend would make it impossible at all. They're good climbers and many u bends have hair in them which could act as a spidey ladder.

[Sockstealer]

I'm not generally fussy. Although admit I may have been over this.

Other stuff no way.

Leaving the back door unlocked overnight when he's the one who came through it, wee on the toilet seat and floor, boiler 'accidentally switched off meaning no hot water, keys left inside car, keys left in front door, taps left running, lights left on. All met with complete denial, yes I could do it all myself but I'm fed up of going round after an adult.

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

It was a bit of him to stick it in the DC toy box in the first place really. That's the unreasonable part in reality. He should have just dealt with it from the off I suppose.

I wouldn't sweat about it though OP.....wee on the toilet seat though...THAT'S unreasonable! I'd call the bugger in every time I found it....or I'd start pissing everywhere myself...wherever he needs to sit basically! Piss on it!

[Sockstealer]

Also if it could have just escaped, fair enough. But dp did make the assumption that it would just die and I could get dead spider out at a later date.

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

YAK.

Retrieve it now and then lay it on his pillow at bedtime.

[Sockstealer]

Claw this is the man who on e trapped a spider under a glass for a weekend in his house as he'd 'forgot' to put it out and gone out all weekend. I made the discovery visiting one Sunday night after it had been trapped since Friday. He's the master of doing it in a bit.

Probably why I'm ending up narked over petty stuff.