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to feel like I am failing

(5 Posts)
askyfullofstars Mon 10-Nov-14 09:59:05

The last few weeks have been a nightmare.
Firstly DS was quite severely constipated and was up most nights as “his bum hurt”, that is now under control. However, even though DH and I took it in turns to stay up with him I am still exhausted.
DS also seems to have a problem with his back teeth and he screams and cries and resists me brushing them, I have tried to get him in with a dentist but every one we have tried doesn’t have any appointments/wont see him for an initial appointment until Jan (that’s the earliest), So I have tried calling the emergency dentist who wont see him unless he is in pain all the time.
Local govt cuts have seen my dept slashed from 11 people to 2 people and a manager (with still the same workload for 11 people, and the same deadlines), so now I am working more hours for less pay and due to a large piece of work we have we have been told that we cannot take any time off (other than the one day I already have booked), until Christmas.
So I feel absolutely exhausted, work is killing me, I am so tired and mornings and evenings with DS have become a battleground and I cant help him.
Then to top it all, last night DS was crying out loudly while I am brushing his teeth, and someone (I suspect my next door neighbour), shoved a note through my door, to tell me that if they keep hearing DS crying like that, then they will have to call social services, so can I shut him up.
I feel absolutely useless.
I am currently on my way in to work (starting a bit later in the office, was working at home since 7.30 – had to rewrite a cd and my home computer has a better program)

Dazedconfused Mon 10-Nov-14 10:04:22

Wow it sounds like you are shattered. have some thanks thanks

I do not normally condone lying but could you not just say your son is in constant pain with his teeth and take him to the emergency dentist? it may not be the truth but it is better than waiting 2 months.

Your neighbours sound just lovely .

Notcontent Mon 10-Nov-14 10:13:03

Right, so you probably can't do much about the work situation.

But you need to address your son's teeth issues. If you can't get an appointment with an NHS dentist, you need to take his to a private dentist - you should be able to get an appointment immediately.

Myearhurts Mon 10-Nov-14 10:51:18

I think you just need to take everything one step at a time. You are not failing. I'd be upset if I'd had a note from my neighbour like that, it's particularly unkind.

Tell the emergency dentist that your son is in constant pain. There is clearly something wrong if he can't brush his teeth and it might contribute to his poor mood at the moment. You deserve that emergency appointment - do not be fobbed off. Remember that the squeaky wheel gets the oil!

How old is your DS? Is he old enough to be encouraged to self settle?

I'm not sure how to deal with the situation with your neighbour. Have you ever been on friendly terms and could you talk to them? I would definitely make sure I kept the note, just for your own evidence.

Take a deep breath and tackle things one at a time.

Aberchips Mon 10-Nov-14 11:56:53

You are not failing - when you're tired and stressed it's easy to lose the plot a little. I've felt the same in the last few weeks as I've had loads on & been struggling with a cold/chest infection. Things have got a little less fraught recently & I've been able to realise that life is not so complicated all fo a sudden.

Take some time to just sit & think about what you can change/ alter, talk things over with your DH.

Your neighbour sounds lovely & extremely unhelpful! I would just ignore that particular problem but as another poster said, keep the note just in case. I think it's unlikely social services are going to dash round though just because they report some crying.

Keep trying with the dentist - if necessary say that your son is in pain all the time, how old is he? Could he be getting some molars through at the back? Pick your battles with him in the morning/ evening - not brushing his back teeth for a few days or so while you get it investigated is not going to hurt too much.

Work wise there isn't much you can do, maybe consider looking for something else though in the New Year when things settle down. Do you have an HR department you could talk to about how you are feeling - they would probably rather not have you ending up being signed off sick with stress eventually!

It sounds like at least your DH is supportive - could he do bathtime/ bedtime a couple of evenings while you relax?

Hope things get better for you.

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