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To be green with envy at women whose partners cook

(227 Posts)
CinnamonBuns Sun 09-Nov-14 17:25:02

Not a TAAT but just read the veggie Christmas thread about the husband who cooks a three course meal from scratch envy

My partner has never even made me
a sandwich in 5 years sad

So pissed off at having to cook every fucking meal. If I say, no you're cooking tonight, he'll order a takeaway which I don't really like.

I didn't think it was a big deal when we were dating that he didn't cook but 5 years down the line I'm sick of it.


Catsarebastards Sun 09-Nov-14 17:27:14

Do you mean jealous of people whose partner's cook?

1981 Sun 09-Nov-14 17:28:24

What would happen if you were admitted to hospital or get ill?

Why won't he cook?

Has he ever cooked (what happened before you were together)?

Presumably he's got no physical reason why he "can't", so it's "won't".

Need more context. If you're a SAHM and he's working 90hrs a week or something it's kind of important.

Writerwannabe83 Sun 09-Nov-14 17:28:31

I hope my DH doesn't feel this way about me grin

I cook once a week and he does all the other days.

It does mean I always get the crap job of washing up though grin

HermanSkank Sun 09-Nov-14 17:28:55

I didn't think it was a big deal when we were dating

Ah, that should be written up on a plaque and hung above the Relationships board.

bigbluestars Sun 09-Nov-14 17:29:00

So do you cook for him?

Catsarebastards Sun 09-Nov-14 17:29:02

Btw- there is nothing stopping you from just feeding yourself. Your partner not cooking does not automatically mean you have to feed him. Especially when he wouldnt do it for you. PS dont have kids with him.

CinnamonBuns Sun 09-Nov-14 17:29:06

I don't know what I mean, I just want someone to make me a lovely meal!

coffeeslave Sun 09-Nov-14 17:29:27

If I could give a girl any piece of advice, it'd be never to move in with a man (or a partner of any gender!) who hasnt got experience of looking after themselves; ie. can cook, wash clothes, do bills, keep a home relatively clean etc etc. I made that a big priority and my boyfriend is a keeper - cooks, cleans the loo, even irons my shirts!! Ok, so I didn't move in with anyone until I was 36, but he was worth the long wait grin

Catsarebastards Sun 09-Nov-14 17:29:58

Ah, that should be written up on a plaque and hung above the Relationships board

Yup yup yup.

HermanSkank Sun 09-Nov-14 17:31:04

What would happen if you stopped cooking for both of you, and just cooked for yourself, OP?

YANBU, by the way. Sounds like he's got himself a right cushy set-up.

LadyLuck10 Sun 09-Nov-14 17:31:10

YY hermans.
You made the choice.

Vivacia Sun 09-Nov-14 17:31:33

I would find it very, very tiring to have to be the one to think, plan and cook every meal.

Why don't you just say you'll be splitting it 4-3 from now on or something, and only one of those can be takeaway?

Pollywallywinkles Sun 09-Nov-14 17:31:36

I couldn't have lived with/married someone who couldn't pull their weight around the house, including cooking.

Catsarebastards Sun 09-Nov-14 17:32:40

Agree coffeeslave.

CinnamonBuns Sun 09-Nov-14 17:33:25

Herman - grin met before I came to MN sad

Cats - I do that sometimes, I say I'm getting myself a ready meal so you sort yourself out. I usually do that when we've had an argument.

Writer - at least you cook once a week!

I am a sahm but he works flexi hours and works from home so can easily nip out and get food and/or finish at 5/6 and start cooking -
No commute time etc

FreakinScaryCaaw Sun 09-Nov-14 17:33:54

I agree with just cooking for yourself. He sounds rather selfish. Is he nice in other ways?

Mind you dp is a great cook and I'm a bit overweight now. But I can cook too so there's no hope for us.

Although I've just taken up jogging so I may lose it?

HermanSkank Sun 09-Nov-14 17:34:28

OP, have you told him how you feel? Does he care that you're fed up?

FreakinScaryCaaw Sun 09-Nov-14 17:35:19

OP I'll pop round and cook you a lovely meal, but you have to promise not to let me eat any of it wink

NoArmaniNoPunani Sun 09-Nov-14 17:35:27

YABU. It's not an accident that I married someone who cooks and cleans.

AnyFucker Sun 09-Nov-14 17:36:20

Well, you chose him. Sorry. It's not like you went in with no evidence.

Does he make up for it other ways?. Or is he generally a selfish, lazy-arsed "that's wimminz work" type of dickhead bloke ?

TBH, my H is a shit cook and I wouldn't actually want to consume anything he made. I am cooking Sunday roast today and he is decorating and playing taxi driver for the dc's while I MN in the bath

CinnamonBuns Sun 09-Nov-14 17:36:35

Agree too coffee and I'll pass that on to my children.
My mother didn't pass me that nugget as she does it for my brother and the girls had to do everything. Ffs.

Viv I think I'm going to sit him down and say it plainly that I'm not doing it anymore. I'm really tired.

skylark2 Sun 09-Nov-14 17:37:09

"I didn't think it was a big deal when we were dating that he didn't cook"

I did. I wasn't interested in dating anyone who didn't treat me as an equal.

I might have never met anyone - heck, I might have never had a single date - but what actually happened was that I dated one man and married him.

I am not the maid. Nor are you.

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom Sun 09-Nov-14 17:37:13

Does he pull his weight in other ways - I could just about cope with a useless cook. I couldn't with someone who didn't balance things out by covering other duties.

Actually, I couldn't cope with a useless cook. But I've not already married one, so I'm trying to be constructive. grin

littlemslazybones Sun 09-Nov-14 17:37:27

I can't believe he hasn't even so much as made you a sandwich in 5 years, no wonder you are fed up. Surely you have been poorly in that time? Has he done anything to look after you when you could do with some help?

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