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AIBU?

To think more Scouts should have made this a priority?

32 replies

Thrif · 08/11/2014 20:42

DS2's Scout troup visited a local church yard today to tidy some graves "from the war" and lay poppies. They do it every year. DS2 wasn't particularly excited to go but I told him it wasn't supposed to be fun but was a necessary mark of respect and that part of being a scout means you turn up as required, not just when you fancy it. The least he could do after what those people gave etc

He was one of only two who turned up!

It was a Saturday afternoon, so I realise some will have had other commitments and families may have had plans but they had plenty of notice and it was one hour out of a weekend.

AIBU to think this was a really poor show on the part of the Scouts and their parents ?

OP posts:
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skylark2 · 08/11/2014 20:49

If you're doing something else you're doing something else - one hour isn't any easier than six, in fact it can be harder as you don't have time to go home in between with small siblings. Especially when the weather's vile.

DS will be parading with the Scouts tomorrow. If it had been today, he wouldn't have been. It wouldn't have been lack of respect.

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Strix · 08/11/2014 20:53

A difficult one. I am a cubs leader and share the sentiment of being frustrated with a poor showing at an important event. However, with so very few, I would look at things like the communication of the event, and general morale of the pack. Leaders should work in partnership with the young people. Especially as you are scouts and not cubs or beavers, I would look at your development of the young people to take responsibility. Is there more the leaders could do to lead them? Do you need more leaders in order to provide this leadership? Possibly engaging the parents mor on the calendar of events.... do you have a parent rep?

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Coolas · 08/11/2014 20:58

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WooWooOwl · 08/11/2014 20:58

It is sad that only two families prioritised something like this, but tbh, my dc wouldn't have gone to do that today because tomorrow is going to be all about remembrance and going on the scouts parade, which is thankfully very well attended.

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golemmings · 08/11/2014 21:00

Maybe the kids should have made more effort but I know round here members of the local TA unit will only go to remembrance events if they are paid.
If members of the military aren't interested in paying their respects I thinkk you'll have a hard job persuading the kids.

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26Point2Miles · 08/11/2014 21:08

Busy time of year if any of the parents work in retail.... Sadly I worked all day today so my dc would not be attending anything... It's life

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MrsFionaCharming · 08/11/2014 21:12

The really annoying bit is that had it been a theme park trip or activity afternoon, you can bet half the pack would have turned up. I know a lot of leaders now hold sleepovers the night before Remembrance, as it's the only way to ensure the yp show up.

When I was a Scout, it was made clear to us that we were either always Scouts or never Scouts - we couldn't just pick and choose what activities suited us and not turn up to the remembrance/fundraising/volunteering side of things.

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Permanentlyexhausted · 08/11/2014 21:19

I am a Brownie leader and I also feel frustrated when children (parents, really) can't be bothered to turn up to the one really serious event of the year. I do make it clear that I expect the children to be there and, because of one of the ways in which Girlguiding differs from Scouting (i.e. that I need parents to complete consent forms for this sort of activity), I am usually forewarned of how many children I'm expecting so there are no nasty surprises on the day. There are also subtle ways to encourage the children to use peer pressure on their parents. Miss even one Remembrance Sunday Parade and you won't get a chance to carry the flag at a future one. You'll also miss out on the certificate and chocolate!

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Permanentlyexhausted · 08/11/2014 21:22

Yes MrsFiona, ain't that the truth! I could have put money on which of my parents replied to last week's email with "My daughter won't be coming to Remembrance Sunday but would like to come on the trip in December"!

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EustaciaBenson · 08/11/2014 21:22

The problem doesnt only lie with the scouts or the parents unfortunately. I know of a cub pack who has problems getting their cubs to come to Remembrance Sunday because a lot of them are in a football team and if they miss their practice their coach wont let them play for two games. Its a shame sports clubs cant give more leeway for this day, but you may find its things like this that stopped people going and not just not having a sense of duty

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museumum · 08/11/2014 21:25

It is frustrating but 90% of my guides have sports commitments on a Saturday. They will miss them once a year for camp and occasionally have a few Saturday's off between the end of one season and pre-season training for the next year depending on the specific sport.
But they wouldn't miss their sports team commitment for a one hour voluntary guide thing.

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WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 08/11/2014 21:30

There are often clashes unfortunately, my DS will be missing his first Remembrance parade as a Scout tomorrow because he also plays in a sports team and if he misses the match he lets the other team members down too. He has been to the parade every year since he started Beavers. I have let the leaders know he's not coming. While I agree that they should attend if at all possible, if there are two events on two days of the same weekend which are each only a couple of hours long (with travel) that could be tricky for many families, more will probably attend the parade as that is seen as the more important event I would guess.

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OldLadyKnowsBeelzebub · 08/11/2014 21:36

Scouts are aged 10 and a half to 14. Do they all really need mummy/daddy to hold their hands while spending an hour weeding a graveyard? Confused

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WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 08/11/2014 22:14

No of course not, but they may well need dropping off and bringing back, the younger ones anyway.

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EustaciaBenson · 08/11/2014 22:17

To be fair Oldlady I dont think anyone has implied that. But not everyone lives near enough to the Scout group for their children to walk, and ther isnt always public transport, therefore their parents being free to transport them is actually something that has be taken into consideration. Plus if it is for an hour and the parent has to spend 15 mins driving there, 15 mins driving back, then another 15 mins driving there and back then they may as well stick around

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OOAOML · 08/11/2014 22:54

My daughter is going to a Remembrance service tomorrow with Guides. Usually the turnout isn't brilliant but it probably will be this year as every girl who attends is getting a badge - I'm hoping it is to commemorate 1914 and not just a bribe.

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Permanentlyexhausted · 08/11/2014 23:01

Probably a bit of both!

TBF, none of my Brownies know they'll get a certificate and a chocolate unless they've remembered from last year. None of the new ones know. None of them know they won't get to carry the flag in future if they don't go - that's just my private rule for helping me choose who should do it. I don't bribe, I just reward. Of course, if they query it I'll explain it to them.

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CastlesInTheSand · 08/11/2014 23:10

DS can't miss rugby to go to church. He can't miss rugby for anything besides a broken bone.

It's not about respect or lack of. It's about scouts being on a Friday eve. That is the time he has for scouts. Not Sunday.

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OOAOML · 08/11/2014 23:11

She has been every year since she was a Rainbow. She has it pretty cushy - warmest church I've ever been inWink In my day it was a freezing church followed by standing in the cold in those thin Guide blouses (think I had a jersey underneath).

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Babiecakes11 · 08/11/2014 23:13

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WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 08/11/2014 23:55

It's good that they get rewarded, but I can't imagine it makes any difference to numbers if my two are anything to go by. The promise of a chocolate doesn't make a jot of difference to my DS, who hates the parade and was really pleased to finally get out of it this year. He understands about the responsibility and has done it with good grace but a lot of moaning at home beforehand, which according to his friends parents is true of a lot of them. Whereas my DD is more than happy to do it and if she gets a chocolate that will be nice, but she'd happily do it anyway.

I hated it when I was a Brownie, standing outside for 45 mins in a thin dress and tights in November, at least they can wear trousers now.

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OldLadyKnowsBeelzebub · 09/11/2014 01:08

How big is an average Scout troup? The Op isn't about attending the local Remembrance ceremony, it's about spending an hour the day before to show some respect by weeding the graves of those who died. It's all very well to go, "Look at me, I'm wearing a poppy and a uniform, I Remember The Dead, I get to carry a banner and have my photo in the local paper!" but actually performing a small, unnoticed (except perhaps by elderly relatives, who would be grateful) action isn't worth the bother. Yes, I understand that travel might be difficult, I live rurally myself. I undertstand that there may be sporting obligations.

But ffs, 2 out of how many actually turned up? Only two boys aged 10 and a half to 14 were able to walk/cycle/take a bus unaccompanied to give up an hour on a Saturday?

Really?

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AlpacaMyBags · 09/11/2014 01:52

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AlpacaMyBags · 09/11/2014 03:43

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Aebj · 09/11/2014 07:11

Maybe they should tend the graves another weekend. This way the whole weekend isn't taken up with scouts. Maybe they should plan a night on there normal scout might in the summer to tend the graves . Still shows respect

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