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AIBU to not want to go away on holiday to celebrate SIL's birthday?

(45 Posts)
NespressoLatte Sat 08-Nov-14 15:27:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrsgrumble Sat 08-Nov-14 15:29:48

No way would I go op.

Can you book your long haul holiday soon so that gives the excuse rather than it bing an idea.

Ridiculous to expect a big family holiday for inlaws to attend for a birthday. A meal would suffice near home.

Ohmygrood Sat 08-Nov-14 15:31:25

Yes - get your own holiday booked.

Mammanat222 Sat 08-Nov-14 15:32:04

Tell them you can't afford it?

All sounds tres bizarre, especially the "you don't pay SIL enough compliments" part.

I can't imagine this is a grown woman? You have to be talking about someone's 18th right????

Also they obviously don't celebrate every milestone Birthday with a holiday if you DH only got a crappy card?

Only1scoop Sat 08-Nov-14 15:33:49


Maybe sil would prefer a break with her friends sounds quite bossy.

Only1scoop Sat 08-Nov-14 15:34:26

Yes I thought that what 'compliments' aren't you ready enough with?

Frenchfemme Sat 08-Nov-14 15:38:49

MIL we are planning to do the same for SIL's milestone b'day as was done for DH's, OK?

JenniferGovernment Sat 08-Nov-14 15:41:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NespressoLatte Sat 08-Nov-14 15:46:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty Sat 08-Nov-14 15:49:02

You haven't mentioned your DH in this at all

What does he want to do? Does he want to go on holiday or for a long weekend?

NespressoLatte Sat 08-Nov-14 15:51:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Castlemilk Sat 08-Nov-14 15:52:06

'Oh? We were thinking she would just want a card, as that's what you all did for DH on his 40th...Could you explain the difference please? By the way, SIL, you look like shit on a toasting fork today... Think it's the skirt.'

(delete that last bit)

Shakey1500 Sat 08-Nov-14 15:58:52

Castlemilk Excellent response! I vote that. smile

WorraLiberty Sat 08-Nov-14 16:00:06

I'd just buy her a card and present then.

Ignore your MIL, it's none of her business.

MrsTerrorPratchett Sat 08-Nov-14 16:05:34

Look really vague and say, "I think we should treat her, just like we did DH... What did we do for his 30th again... Ummmm what was that?" and let her fill in the blanks. Or, what Castlemilk said.

For the rest, treat it like it's a joke, laugh, them say, "oh, were you serious?" every time.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sat 08-Nov-14 16:11:25

Tell her you can't afford/don't want to go, when she pulls an angry face look back at her, shrug your shoulders and say 'what?, we're not going'.

You and your dh are adults, tell her you're not going and don't be browbeaten into anything else.

Captainweasel Sat 08-Nov-14 16:30:28

Book your holiday. As soon as you can. But make sure you void going over sils birthday otherwise it'll look like you don't want to be there and booked holiday on purpose (I have experience of this).

Nanny0gg Sat 08-Nov-14 16:31:33

Tell them you've already booked your holiday even if you haven't.

And ask them why they didn't want to do anything special for your DH's birthday.

pictish Sat 08-Nov-14 16:34:22

Oh no...I wouldn't want to go either. But it's going to create a shit storm...and of course, it will be you at fault.
Are you ready for this?

Aeroflotgirl Sat 08-Nov-14 16:38:43

No no no. Don't let MIL get away with tgat behaviour. She gets away with it because people give in. Book that holiday onsilbirthdayweekend and say your not able to make it.

oneowlgirl Sat 08-Nov-14 16:39:39

I'd say you can't afford it - simple. I wouldn't mention your DHs birthday in case they take that as an invitation to do something for his birthday next year!

MrsTerrorPratchett Sat 08-Nov-14 16:40:18

I think the shit storm is there anyway. My theory is; with people like this you are always going to be in the wrong so might as well please yourself.

Aeroflotgirl Sat 08-Nov-14 16:40:27

Tell mil you'll celebrate how they celebrated your DH birthday

juneau Sat 08-Nov-14 16:43:11

Plan your own holiday ASAP and then you can tell them that you can't afford to join them on their trip for SIL. And FGS, just say no. And agree with your DH what your line will be and stick to it. When cornered unexpectedly its understandable to cave in, but if the two of you have discussed how you're going to handle this all you to do is stick to your story and just keep repeating it.

pictish Sat 08-Nov-14 16:45:46

Terror couldn't agree more.

"Oh ha ha - no. We're not spending out like that...don't be silly. Dh only got a card for his. The budget and the inclination aren't there. It's a no from us."

<shit storm>

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