To expect my 4 yr old dd to occupy herself sometimes?

[LuckyLopez]

Oh my god she's getting worse. Used to be great at it, but lately she's so whiny and needy.

She gets a lot of my time and attention, I'm a cm so very motivated to do things with her and lots of toys, activities and outings going on. Maybe that's part of the problem. She doesn't do being bored! Always wants someone to play with.

Any tips? I don't think I'm unreasonable (but maybe I am!) in expecting her to play by herself sometimes but I've forgotten how to teach this.

[CrohnicallyAnxious]

No, not UR. My 2 year old can play by herself on occasion (if she is in the right mood!).

I don't actually know how to teach it though. Maybe get her involved in an activity, set a timer (initially for a very short period of time, like a minute) and say you will play with her when the timer's done, then ignore her till the timer's done? As she gets used to it you could extend the time, once she gets to 5 minutes or so she should be able to cope without the timer but understand 'I need to do x then I will play with you'

[CrohnicallyAnxious]

Just a thought, but do you know why she's changed? Is it something you could help with eg if she's just started school in September she might be missing you during the week, perhaps doing an activity exclusively with her at a set time would help? Or maybe a slightly earlier bedtime in case the demands of school are leaving her tired?

[Cat2014]

My ds has only started being able to occupy himself and he's 6! That's fairly unusual though I think.

[LuckyLopez]

I'm not sure why. She's not at school no, though does go to preschool each morning but has been there since last September.

She's supposed to be my 'easy third child'

[addictedtobass]

No advice, but it's good for her to learn now. I lived with an adult who couldn't occupy herself and in the end had to ask her to leave- she was really clingy and demanding.

[hiccupgirl]

My nearly 5 yr DS is slowly getting better at entertaining himself but it's a slow journey. Today he's played by himself with his trains for about an hour but that is really unusual. Normally if he even vaguely suspects that you might want to do something else, he's whining for attention.

Starting school seems to have helped a bit as he has less time to play with his toys in the week but then he also has less time at home with me so can be more clingy as well.

I'm not sure what the solution is tbh. I do make sure I remove myself quite a bit so he has to do things on his own but he likes just being with me and always has done. Some children are naturally more self directed and better at entertaining themselves than others.