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This is weird and inappropriate isn't it? Or AIBU

(129 Posts)
dottytablecloth Sat 08-Nov-14 09:30:27

Would you find it weird if a v close family member had an obsession with removing your child's nappy?

Then when you told them NOT to do it, the next time they were alone with your child they did the same thing and took photographs?

It's not sinister, the photographs were shown to me along with others but I'm so uncomfortable with it.

When challenged the person said I put pictures of dc on Facebook so apparently this is worse hmm

I'm horrified that my ds's privacy has been invaded. How very dare this person?

Person is older and apparently likes to 'air' baby's bottom. Ds has no nappy rash etc, never has, he's totally clear, I don't see the need. If there was a need, sure it's up to dh or I to do?

I'm really uncomfortable with this situation, expressed my anger and insisted photos are deleted, have been assured nobody else has seen them.

As I say, I don't believe there was any sinister intent, just stupidity but it's makes my skin crawl that this was done to my almost 2 year old (21 months)

Give me some perspective and AIBU?

PossumPoo Sat 08-Nov-14 09:33:54

Um no, YNBU. Why did they take photos ? confused

DoughnutSelfie Sat 08-Nov-14 09:33:54

As with all things to do with one's own offspring - if someone persists in doing that which they've been asked not to do then remove the opportunity for doing it again

Supervised visits only from now on

ElizaPickford Sat 08-Nov-14 09:33:58

Erm...it sounds very weird and disrespectful, I'd've gone nuts...

futterwacken Sat 08-Nov-14 09:35:15

It isn't weird for a two year old to have a bare bum and in fairness he probably enjoys it, but yes very weird and inappropriate to repeatedly remove someone elses childs nappy after they have said not to. It's disrespectful to you as a parent at the very least and they would not be allowed near my child anymore. Make sure they delete the photos too.

purplemurple1 Sat 08-Nov-14 09:35:56

Taking his nappy off and airing is a bit strange but something I found normal with people who have use Terry toweling nappies. Also he is close to potty training so common to want him to see what he is doing ifyswim.

But carrying on after you've asked them not too and taking photos is very strange. I don't think I would want them alone with my child.

Euphemia Sat 08-Nov-14 09:36:08

Was it your MIL?

notagainffffffffs Sat 08-Nov-14 09:37:08

Very inappropriate. Does this person do your childcare? If that os the case I would start with a childminder sharpish

DoughnutSelfie Sat 08-Nov-14 09:38:54

Yes good point, notagain

If the person does childcare then that arrangement needs to end swiftly

dottytablecloth Sat 08-Nov-14 09:40:34

I don't want to go on a MIl rant but yes it was.

She is older, is it a generational thing.

I hate her doing it and thought I had been very clear that she wasn't to.

It happened last time dh took ds to visit her a few weeks back. Dh went to visit an elderly relative and thought ds would be fine for an hour.

Hoppinggreen Sat 08-Nov-14 09:40:36

My mil always liked my kids to be running around naked ( when warm enough) but she is German and apparently DH and SIL were almost permanently naked until they started kindergarten.
If I Had asked her not to strip them off though I'm pretty sure she would have stopped.

Coconutty Sat 08-Nov-14 09:40:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NancyRaygun Sat 08-Nov-14 09:41:17

If there is nothing sinister then I don't see the problem really - older generation seem to have a 'thing' about 'airing' a babies bum. No big deal.

dottytablecloth Sat 08-Nov-14 09:41:18

Person does not do Childcare anymore.

GobblersKnob Sat 08-Nov-14 09:41:40

I don't know, a two year old having a bare bum is not inappropriate in the slightest, neither is a photo of said bum. My childminder used to take ds's nappy off so he could scoot round with a free arse, there were often pics.

I have no idea really, why is it such a big deal to you and who is it that's doing it?

Coconutty Sat 08-Nov-14 09:41:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaucyJackOLantern Sat 08-Nov-14 09:43:21

I can't really say which one of you is the neurotic weirdo from reading your OP - only that one of you is ;-)

We're a bottom airing household for the record. I don't find that bit strange at all.

ClashCityRocker Sat 08-Nov-14 09:52:33

Bottom airing isn't the issue.

You've asked her not to do it, and she's still doing it.

Could you tell mil that you're teaching her the PANTS NSPCC guidance so no one is allowed to remove her nappy bar you and DH other than for changing? Don't know if she's too young for that though.

I grew up in Germany and was pretty much nuddy in the garden until six or seven, was a long time ago though!

YouAreMyRain Sat 08-Nov-14 09:54:35

My MIL strips my DS off to air his bum, very common with people used to old nappies, as pp said.
It wouldn't concern me. It's a shame that people are so suspicious of child nudity.
When I was at nursery (in the mid seventies) the staff would whip out a paddling pool on a hot day and stick it on the grass next to a main road. We would go in naked and run around naked in the sunshine to dry off. I remember how lovely it was.
The photos make you feel uncomfortable, understandably, so make it clear that you don't want any more taken (maybe point out that if they lost their phone and it was handed in to the police, it might be embarrassing for them).

I really don't see any harm in the stripping off though. It's nice for them to feel the physical freedom.

mallardgreen Sat 08-Nov-14 09:55:53

I wouldn't like it and certainly would be very unhappy about photographs but then I hate 'naked baby/child' pictures anyway.

Yanbu.

PatMullins Sat 08-Nov-14 09:57:12

The point is the OP has asked her not to and has been ignored..
YANBU, OP

WalkingInMemphis Sat 08-Nov-14 09:58:21

When I was at nursery (in the mid seventies) the staff would whip out a paddling pool on a hot day and stick it on the grass next to a main road. We would go in naked and run around naked in the sunshine to dry off. I remember how lovely it was

I'm assuming you mean when you were at nursery as a child, yes? Not as a staff member? shock

YouAreMyRain Sat 08-Nov-14 10:14:31

Yes, a child, in the UK, in the mid seventies grin

wheresthelight Sat 08-Nov-14 10:16:02

those saying it's fine to air a baby's bum are clearly missing the point massively!!

the op is not comfortable with it and has asked her mil to not do it and this is being ignored. I would go absolutely ballistic with my mum or my Mil (if she were still alive) if they disobeyed my wishes. and have on many occasion gone head to head with my mum.

just because they are a different generation and done it before does not make it right

Aeroflotgirl Sat 08-Nov-14 10:20:44

Yes it is very weird and inappropriate and I would really give them an earful. Report tge photos to facebook.

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