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to think she is being Passive Agressive and want to call her on it?

(17 Posts)
ThinkIveBeenHacked Sat 08-Nov-14 09:17:19

Newborn son arrived two weeks ago and I have a nearly three year old. We have had quite a few visitors, and have only taken Ds to visit FIL. Everyone else who wanted to see him has visited us. Not planned, just circumstance.

My Gran (dads mum) lives very local, however we have yet to visit her and she has not visited us. No reasom behind it, still getting to grips with having two little kids, am in pjs most of the day, have only done a couple of "outings" so far.

I intended to visit Gran at some point this weekend if we got the chance.

Yesterday teatime I get a message from my aunt (dadd sister) saying "Ive shown Gran a photo of X as she has no idea what he looks like and would like to meet her first great grandson" so I reply "lovely thanks, I am intending to visit her soon, probably this weekend".

Awoke this morning to the exact same fucking message on a photo on Facebook (my mums photo too). This comment was added a good six hours after she and I had messaged one another.

I feel like she is being PA and that I have somehow commited some sort of cardinal sin in not visiting my Gran yet.

Gran is capable of visiting me should she choose. Aunt is a bit of an odd one anyways -- we dont have much of a relationship yet she tries to portray publicly that she is a real family person (not true) and tries to use Facebook or similar to make digs at dad and our side of our family whenever she can.

My own dad is yet to have a cuddle with the baby as he has had bad flu for the past ten days - he came and wished me congrarulations after the birth and had a look at ds but has been too poorly for cuddles yet. He isnt PAing all over the shop.

Sorry.....I probably ABU but just feel quite grumpy towards her.

Fuckerysmuckeryboilsnspornery Sat 08-Nov-14 09:21:19

Ignore the mad aunt, go see ggm as planned and enjoy your lovely baby. flowers

Minisoksmakehardwork Sat 08-Nov-14 09:22:28

Yanbu to feel miffed about it. But if you feel like highlighting you've already had this conversation, I'd reply "I know, as I told you earlier blah blah".

MajesticWhine Sat 08-Nov-14 09:22:49

YANBU but may be advisable to ignore and not get riled by it. She sounds like a proper pain in the agree, but don't engage, and pop in and see your gran when it suits you.

Charitybelle Sat 08-Nov-14 09:23:35

Worrra bitch!
Sorry OP, your instincts are correct, she is being a PA shitbag right when you've just given birth, nice....
Give her no airtime. Carry on with your plans to visit your nan at your convenience and if she says anything to you again just make an equally passive aggressive comment/joke back about how much time she must have on her hands to be monitoring all your new sons visits etc...
Congratulations on the birth of your baby btw. Try not to let this nonsense get in your head.

divingoffthebalcony Sat 08-Nov-14 09:23:46

Yep, passive aggressive and she wanted to shame you publicly too. Ignore. Maybe get your mum to delete the comment if it bothers you.

MajesticWhine Sat 08-Nov-14 09:25:45

Auto correct, arse not agree

Yama Sat 08-Nov-14 09:27:43

Buy her a big old wooden spoon. Her comment on fb will only show herself in a bad light.

Take no heed of her opinion, you do not answer to her.

musicalendorphins2 Sat 08-Nov-14 09:29:58

With it being the exact same message, it could be delayed facebook postings or something? Changed privacy for the post maybe? It sounds like a misunderstanding.

Coconutty Sat 08-Nov-14 09:30:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThinkIveBeenHacked Sat 08-Nov-14 09:31:09

Id already spoken to my mum about the initial message, who agreed she was being PA but Im not sure if she has seen the comment on her photo yet.

Glad people are thinking along the same lines as me - I know she is local to me but its only been a fortnight grin Ive only really done "essential" trips.

My own mums family are a good six hour drive away and they're perfectly happy to wait and meet DS at the next standard family gathering like most normal people

pictish Sat 08-Nov-14 09:36:52

Agree with the others. Tempting though I know it will be to respond to her arsey, self important comment on fb, don't. You don't answer to her...she has no business whatever opining on this.
You can ask your mum to delete it though.

ThinkIveBeenHacked Sat 08-Nov-14 10:47:46

Will resist the urge to comment then grin

When we found out we were expecting ds, we told her before we did a FB comment, yet she still felt the need to comment on that "good job I have FB, wouldnt have known otherwise" hmm

pictish Sat 08-Nov-14 10:51:50

Really. Fucking drama llama. hmm
Seriously, the most effective way of dealing with someone like her, is to ignore. Do not respond.

MammaTJ Sat 08-Nov-14 10:53:00

I would certainly have pulled her up on that, maybe with 'You getting forgetful? I told you on such a time in such a place, face to face. Can you really not remember?'

pictish Sat 08-Nov-14 10:55:28

No no no. Every response is a validation, a recognition, an acknowledgement.
This only feeds into her sense of self in any given scenario.
Nothing will infuriate her more than tumbleweed, while OP maintains her dignity.

PurpleSwift Sat 08-Nov-14 11:02:16

I'd probably roll my eyes at it but meh. Ignore, it doesn't really matter.

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