Talk

I organised a lunch/afternoon tea in London with 8 good friends. Was great

I had a party in my house, paid for a fairly cheap buffet. It was good, but TBH, I probably wouldn't bother for my 50th. DH and I went to Las Vegas for his 40th, which was miles better!!!

I think an informal evening in the pub is different from an organised party. Hopefully your friends wouldn't be as flaky if they were invited to a proper organised event?

Mine is next year and DH and I are going away for a long weekend.

Oh, and the next day (my actual birthday) my parents took us all out to a hotel for dinner. It was Mother's Day, very busy, so we were in a soulless function room with a pretty average carvery. My Mum managed to spoil it by being her usual flapping self. When we got home, my sister cleaned my kitchen bin and suggested my DH mow the lawn. So whatever you do, it will probably beat my celebrations .

Thanks for provoking those memories...

I got married.

Don't recommend it if the one you're marrying turns out to be an arse though......

We were going to go on holiday for my 40th but then dd wanted to join a drama group which was doing a production that week. Dd has health issues and the drama was very good for her confidence etc.
So I spent my 40th ferrying her around to the theatre and back.

I did nothing

Had dinner at the Harvester with DH and the kids.

Did similar for DH's 40th.

In fact I now want some steak and ribs.

I had a big(ish) party earlier this year OP.

Was a bit stressful as I didn't get my organising head on until a few days before but all went well in the end!

I loved the venue and have been to other parties there (student uni place so very cheap bar ) but if I was to do it again I'd have a smaller venue.
So my advice is to think of the size of room you will need and then book somewher smaller! I'd prefer a party bursting at the seams than a lovely room which took quite some filling - and wasn't really full for most of the night iyswim.

I also think that peolpe do make more of an effort to attend a 40th than just a regular pub night so I wouldn't worry about that

Went to Thailand. Woke up on my birthday to a view over Bangkok, then visited the grand palace and the reclining Buddha. Gorgeous lunch looking over the Chao Phraya then shopping. Evening meal at Sala Rim Nam, the restaurant at the oriental hotel. All that and a week in Phuket afterwards. Bloody awesome!

My mum and stepfather took me and the DC out for a meal on my actual birthday. The following Saturday I celebrated with a night out with my best friend.

I went for a meal with my family. I had just had IVF and was waiting to see if it worked (It did) so didn't have it in me to have a wild party.

Had a big party, well about 50 people
Had fun and lots of pressies but... was quite stressful and lots if people couldn't come, (summer birthday) so although we had 50 people, the venue felt a bit big. Tbh, my favourite bit was drinking the bubbly and spending the vouchers for lovely restaurants that people had v kindly bought us and the mass sleepover at our house after - felt like a teenager again! Stretched the celebrations out over a year in the end!

Mine was yesterday

Not doing anything this weekend due to DD's birthday coinciding at roughly the same time so doing a small tea party for her, but my best friends from uni are throwing me a house party next weekend. They really are worth their weight in gold.

I would say organise a big do if that's your thing ; it could be very exciting and fun. however if it is going to cause you a lot of stress and worry go for something smaller.

My ExH organised a surprise party for me.
It was in another country and it was so touching how many people made the effort.
Had a wonderful time.
Apart from too many Jaegermeisters and crying because I was 40 years old!!
There was a downside (well at the time anyway)
Whilst planning this my DH of 15 years found his OW!!!
Oh well. I had a good party anyway!

Throwing a big party is a huge no-no for me. I have very high anxiety about 'what if no one turns up' and just couldn't bear it tbh. I was even anxious the night before our wedding with what-if-everyone-skips-it thoughts.

For DH's 30th I arranged a holiday as a surprise and we went to DLP for a week with the dc. My 30th is in two years and we're planning a holiday to Australia to see family.

I can see us doing the same with our 40ths tbh. We go abroad every year (just run-of the mill package deals really), but I can see the 'big birthday's' becoming the 'big' holiday's iyswim.

Thanks all for your responses!

Some varied choices, and some good ideas!

Just for the record.....I think the flaky friends would actually come to a 40th party (I just question whether I want to spend all that time and effort and stress feeding and watering people who can't be bothered at other less important events I'm involved in....I'm just feeling hurt at the moment I guess!)

I need to do some soul searching about what I really want - and perhaps not overthink it!

Just a meal out with me and DH, all I wanted. Unfortunately during the day I had to take my 17 year old at the time DS to the funeral of one of his friends who commuted suicide sadly. DH is 40 next month and we are planning the big party - dress up theme!

I left the country and enjoyed my 40th abroad. I didn't feel that I could rely my friends would be there for me on the big day so i took them out of the equation. i made the right decision and will do the same for my 50th.

Right hellsbells that'll be a no to a surprise party then!

....what a bastard!

I turned 40 within a few days of a close friend. So the two of us and another mutual friend went to New York for 3 days. We rented an apartment (worked out much cheaper than hotel) and had an amazing time.

I just didn't fancy the big party, fuss back home.

Oh that made me LOL.
It's all worked out for the best.
I have a lovely helpful partner and life now and twat is still getting his Karma!

I'm glad to hear it hellsbells they do say 'life begins at 40'!