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AIBU?

To think I'm not going to cope??

15 replies

Titsyandmitzy · 07/11/2014 08:08

18 months ago my dad passed away from cancer at 58. My husband walked out on me and my DS (3yr) 4 months ago. Me and my mum have been supporting each other through these situations as we have no other family near by. Life is hard as it is helping my DS adapt to daddy not being at home. Now my mum has been diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm devastated and scared to what the future holds. Please please please tell me I'll cope? I have friends but at the end of the day they have their own lives. I was already feeling at rock bottom so now this. I'm already on ad's to cope with everything else. What other support is out there? I feel completely alone in the world.

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R4roger · 07/11/2014 08:11

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Sockstealer · 07/11/2014 08:22

I'm so sorry to hear what a tough time you're having

Perhaps you could speak to your GP or health visitor as I'm sure that there are services that you can access for practical help and emotional support. Sorry that's not much help as I'm not sure exactly what, but there are services that can help.

I really hope you can look back soon from brighter days x

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MrsCaptainReynolds · 07/11/2014 08:32

Do you have a local Maggies Centre?

www.maggiescentres.org/

They are a good place to drop in and get support (even regular counselling) when dealing with cancer in your family.

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firstposts · 07/11/2014 08:39

So sorry to hear what a rough time you've had lately. Breast cancer is actually one of the most survivable cancers these days. Do you know any more on what type / size it is? Macmillan are great if you want to speak in confidence to someone. My mum was diagnosed in 2010, it had spread to lymph nodes and was quite large. She had chemo, radiotherapy, lumpectomy and is fine now, nearly 5 years later. All the best x

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fourwoodenchairs · 07/11/2014 08:47

You poor love. I honestly don't have a clue why life chucks us the shit stick again and again. I don't have any experience but I'm hoping someone will be along soon to point you in the right direction with some support and advice.

I'm so sorry, it's not fair x

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allypally999 · 07/11/2014 08:52

Sorry to hear all your troubles

Have you tried reaching out to your friends? Yes we all have our own lives but in desperate times people can make time for you (I've been through a lot too - health and bereavement - and I leaned on all my friends)

Or try one of the other supports other people have listed above.

On a positive note .. I have 3 friends who have all had breast cancer and they are all still with me!

Good luck!

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Andrewofgg · 07/11/2014 09:03

and love. Now 21 years since I was diagnosed with another but dangerous cancer and I am still here. It's not a death sentence.

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Sockstealer · 07/11/2014 09:07

And to add I've also known several people to recover from breast cancer.

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Titsyandmitzy · 07/11/2014 09:23

Thank you everyone. I've not heard of maggies before so will look it up. Friends have been fab after each incident (dad, separation,) and I know they will be with this. But that naturally dwindles after time and that's when I'll trulybe alone. Does age have a factor in survival? She's 65-is that old or young in terms of cancer? I know I shouldn't think like that but it's hard not to when my dads struggle is so fresh in my mind. Diagnosed with bowel cancer and died within 6 months. It's hard not to think the worse until next thurs when we'll no more. I hate the thought of them saying it's not just breast and it's spread, my dads was liver too. Sorry about spelling and paragraphs. On my phone and not thinking straight.

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Redhead11 · 07/11/2014 09:25

McMillan nurses are the best thing. contact them. They have hotlines you can phone 24/7 if you need reassurance or just someone to talk to. Have a chat to your GP and try and take each day as it comes. Try social media to see if there are support groups in your area. Good luck.

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allypally999 · 07/11/2014 09:28

2 of my 3 survivor pals are in their 60s if that helps but McMillan are the best so contact them

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firstposts · 07/11/2014 12:24

My mum was early sixties, age not a reason to worry more. If she's just diagnosed they will be running tests, looking at taking it out, checking margins, deciding on a treatment plan. At this very early stage you have every reason to be confident and positive

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hellsbellsmelons · 07/11/2014 13:44

Oh bless you - you've had a crappy time of it.
Please lean on your friends. They will want to support you no matter else has happened.
Go to your GP and let them know how you are feeling and of course, as everyone else has said, McMillan will help to support you through this.
I hope your mum has a good outcome.
My dad just got the all clear from bladder cancer after 6 months of ops and hospital visits and he's 75.

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moreproseccoplease · 07/11/2014 14:54

Sorry to hear you are having such a horrible time. I can't add anything more helpful other than to echo what previous posters have put. Wishing you and your mum all the best.

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Titsyandmitzy · 07/11/2014 19:18

Thank you everyone. Managed to get seen at the doctors this afternoon. They increased my dose of AD's and I've booked into see a counsellor in a few weeks. I keep getting waves of panic and anxiety. At least with my dad I was still with my husband so had someone else to support me with DS. Now I have to cope with it all on my own. I'm worried about how this will effect him. I already hate the fact he spends time all over the place - grandparents, childminders, playschool, me, with his dad. It must be so unsettling and it will be even more as I'll be supporting my mum with whatever treatment they give.