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concern about ds age 10 and dramatic statements

(2 Posts)
bigmouthstrikesagain Wed 05-Nov-14 22:47:18

long conversation with an upset ds today. He is year 6 and has a school trip tomorrow to a film studio for a english lit work shop. Sounds great yes?

Ds has been negative from the start and has been very ambivalent/ not wanting to go. he is not enjoying english/ english teacher this year.

After a briefing at school today he rushed home and burst in saying he definitely didnt want to go. I asked why. He said he couldn't remember then there was garbled moaning about the coach not getting back til 5pm and the group work not being fun and he would get blisters from the walking around and it would be a waste of time, he would hate it and be miserable etc.

After 30mins of arguing conversation he resorted to saying he would cry all the way around the studio - I replied along the lines of it would not bother me as I would not witness the crying but the poor teachers would... I was pretty aggravated by then.

he then started escalating and said he would "kill himself" if we made him go sad I tried to diffuse and make light of that threat and asked really how bad would the trip be if he actually just went along without the tears and recriminations? he finally admitted that nothing awful would happen to him other than possibly being a bit bored...

I then stopoed the conversation as it was giing no where and said I would speak to his dad making it clear that ds would be missing out if he did not go. Later when dh phoned on way home I asked him to speak to ds and ds meekly accepted that he would be going on the trip...hmm confused

I take suicide threats seriously my mum has attempted suicide several times since I was a teenager. Dh best friend killed himself just under 2 years ago so these words from ds are upsetting. I need to put them in perspective as I imagine I will hear dramatic shit like that as the kids get older more often. Do I ignore, or tackle head on by explaining why it is so upsetting or does that lay us ooen to teenage manipulation. ..? I don't know quite what the correct response is. Help!?!

capsium Wed 05-Nov-14 22:52:25

I would ask him if he really feels that bad and ask why. Then say how devastated everyone would be and how you all love him. See where the conversation goes from there.

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