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aibu to be freaking out about christmas?

(60 Posts)
BuggerLumpsAnnoyed Wed 05-Nov-14 21:22:25

I know I know it's only november. BUT my dad has come up for a visit and my sister had sent up her christmas presents to us...and, well...i peeked. I know i shouldn't of but i did. On first glance it was a pair of slippers and I thought "aww thats nice" then i saw they were fatface and thought "oh they must of been dear". THEN I saw a bag at the bottom full of truffles and an ENTIRE SET of bare minerals make up. My sister is wonderful and we love eachother very much. DH and i have no spare money. None. I have a sister and he has FOUR brothers most with wonderful partners. All of which are thoughtful, lovely people with some disposapel income who buy wonderful gifts. We are both poor and unimaganitive. And bad at spelling.

So aibu because christmas is making me panic? Yes, very lucky to be surrounded by such wonderful people who just want to show us they care but so frustrated at our lack our complete lack of resources to do anything simliar and yes i know christmas isnt all about gifts but but it would still be nice to turn up with something

isseywithcats Wed 05-Nov-14 21:33:51

you could do something like make some home made chocolate truffles or cookies and put them in pretty boxes with nice bows on wont cost a fortune but im sure your relatives will appreciate the thought thats gone into them, ansd your sister wont know you have peeked at her present so she will think you dont know she has spent a lot of money on yours, then christmas day you can put on a big surprised face

indigo18 Wed 05-Nov-14 21:37:40

should have
must have
would have
etc.

catchingzzzzeds Wed 05-Nov-14 21:39:38

Surely they know your situation and understand? I have 2 sisters and a sister in law, for a few years we were in a better financial position than them and we enjoyed treating them and expected nothing in return.

LosingTheWillToSkate Wed 05-Nov-14 21:41:55

Sounds a lovely gift from your sister, and I'm sure she'd hate for you to feel bad over it.

FWIW, I would absolutely love something homemade, anything like chocs, biscuits etc in a nice little box. So if anyone from RL sees this, well ya know!

GloopyGhoul Wed 05-Nov-14 21:42:14

Oh well done Indigo

indigo18 Wed 05-Nov-14 21:52:27

Thanks. smile

woodwaj Wed 05-Nov-14 21:52:55

Have you signed up to the money saving expert emails? They let you know of offers and im sure a recent one was a make up retailer offering big discounts on bare minerals. She is prob just being more thrifty then you think!

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed Wed 05-Nov-14 21:53:17

Its probably the fact that i could give my sister a pickled gerkin and she'd think it was great that makes we wish i could do something more

Hassled Wed 05-Nov-14 21:55:47

Just explain to her - you love her dearly and are massively grateful but you are skinter than skint and your presents won't be as expensive. She sounds lovely - she'll understand. She probably gets a lot of pleasure in being able to treat you.

twentyten Wed 05-Nov-14 21:55:56

Could you do something like get a lovely pic in a frame? Something personal- a selection of little rats she loved as a kid?

ladygracie Wed 05-Nov-14 21:56:54

Indigo - what a bitchy & unnecessary comment that says more about you than it does the op.
Bugger - would you be able to explain to your sister that you're really struggling this year?

notagainffffffffs Wed 05-Nov-14 21:59:08

I think explain this year but hit up ebay, etsy etc. You can get lovely things for not much at all. Then next year try to put aside a fiver a week and you'll be laughing smile

whevs Wed 05-Nov-14 22:00:02

My DP was made redundant recently. I emailed my immediate family and said that there was no pressure for them to follow suite, but we would be sticking to a £10 limit for each person (even that will be a stretch tbh). Because they are lovely, and reasonable, and because presents don't really mean a thing, people do- they were absolutely fine about it. Your family also sound lovely and would undoubtedly feel the same. Put the shoe on the other foot- what would you say if was your sister in your position?

We are planning to give people photos of the kids in nice (and cheap- eg Ikea) frames.

whevs Wed 05-Nov-14 22:01:15

Oh, and I always try to buy presents throughout the year in the sales. Got a gorgeous Philosophy cosmetics set for sil for £12 reduced from £30

cherrypez Wed 05-Nov-14 22:01:25

Indigo: Rude and massively unhelpful.

Buggerlumps: You sound the like the nicest family going, I'm quite choked reading this tbh. Imagine your sister reading what you wrote about her...that would mean more to her than any present. If my girls grew up displaying the warmth and kindness you allude to in your posts I will be thrilled. Your parents must be so proud.

ClashCityRocker Wed 05-Nov-14 22:01:43

I'm sure your sister isn't giving to receive.

I really don't think 'how much did this cost?' enters most peoples minds when receiving a gift.

My favourite gift was a photo album sil made - there were loads of pics of me and DH and the family taken over the years, including some members who had sadly passed and most of the pictures I never knew existed. Me and DH had a lovely snuggle up on Xmas day going through them and reminiscing - and it wasn't one of those posh leather bound folio jobbers, and probably didn't cost that much for her to do.

Also - check out groupon. They have some fab things and I've got a lot of expensive-looking gifts for a fraction of the price.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum Wed 05-Nov-14 22:17:11

Indigo For crying out loud !!
So pathetic, so sad, so unnecessary to pick someone up on their grammar or spelling. Get over yourself. I really hate it when people do that on here. angry

Bugger - agree with the ideas from Issey and Losing. And there are all sorts of lovely inexpensive gift candles (I always like receiving them). .
Have you tried the websites like "Not on the Highstreet" or Play.com"? Sainsbury's, for instance, do lots of lovely homewear stuff (cushions, photo frames, etc, on special offer). I pick up lots of bits and bobs from there.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum Wed 05-Nov-14 22:22:06

Oh, Yes - ClashCityRocker just reminded me. A friend put together a lovely photo album for a gift for me once. I loved it!

And agree with others - you don't give to receive. I'm sure your sister knows your financial situation and just wants to give you something nice without expecting anything in return. Just sounds as though you have a lovely family!

Christmas gifts can be a bit of a bug-bear. Some people really want to give, other people feel awkward to receive because they can't reciprocate (I have exactly the same with my parents).

Darkandstormynight Wed 05-Nov-14 22:32:03

Do you knit or crochet? Yarn can be had this time of year reasonably especially with a 40% off coupon. You can make a lovely scarf with one skein...and I know I love nice warm winter scarves...it's the hand made that makes them so special. She'd love it.

needtomanup Wed 05-Nov-14 22:36:38

Have a look on the internet. Maybe make a family tree, frame a couple of childhood pictures, plan a nice girly night in together?

They'll understand, my brother is buying a house this month so none of us are expecting anything and will not be in the slightest bit offended.

Awks Wed 05-Nov-14 22:43:25

These initial mugs are gorgeous. I'm going to do them for my family. Your sister sounds lovely, just the sort who would treasure a home made gift.
https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSxDDISsUDcBfxvxlyPzO8LwfEQau36CEPnjuzW4UoHwQPcKlDm

IHeartKingThistle Wed 05-Nov-14 22:44:05

OP you sound lovely.

But, twentyten, I have to ask - what did you mean to type? I guess you aren't really suggesting OP gets her sister a selection of little rats? grin

WitchWay Wed 05-Nov-14 22:47:15

I hate the idea that exchanged gifts have to be of equal value - they don't! Give what you can. Home-made jam, chutney, truffles, handicrafts, a big fruit cake to share.

Don't embarrass yourself financially because you feel the need to "keep up".

It is the thought that counts - seriously.

WitchWay Wed 05-Nov-14 22:48:29

You could offer "free stuff" if they're close by - evenings of baby-sitting, a few hours' cleaning etc

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