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Who is BU over ds birthday/Christmas presents

(16 Posts)
olaflikeswarmhugs Wed 05-Nov-14 20:16:47

A few weeks ago MIL phoned to ask if she should get DS this specific you for his Christmas as she had originally wanted to get him something else but she had him at BILs that day and ds would stop playing with this you so she wanted to get him it for Christmas . That was fine.

Yesterday I was in my mums and was discussing his birthday and said dd needs to go get ds a little gift . Dsis then said well as long as it's not [insert said toy] and I said oh no that's what MIL has got him for Christmas .

Dsis then said well I'm giving him it so she will need to take hers back .

I told mil what had happened and she tried to return it but couldn't because she doesn't have the receipt .

I told dsis this but she can't get to the shop before his birthday because of work (it's in a couple days) and even if she did she would be left with nothing to give ds for his birthday .

I feel completely stuck in the middle but I can see each of their points. I don't know what to do now . I know it sounds daft but I don't really want to get on the wrong side of either of them and whatever happens one of them is gona be annoyed with me .

I feel like it's my fault I should have told mil not to buy anything until after his birthday because you just don't know what he will end up with .

Minisoksmakehardwork Wed 05-Nov-14 20:20:25

Neither are being unreasonable. Both have just had the same (clearly good) idea.

Is ds at your mil's a lot, so potentially would benefit from having one toy there and another at home.

Alternatively, if mil is open to exchanging it, get sister's receipt and give to mil to swap.

tiredteddy Wed 05-Nov-14 20:20:55

What toy is it?

Oldraver Wed 05-Nov-14 20:21:11

I feel completely stuck in the middle but I can see each of their points.

What point ? that your DS is a hissy fit throwing drama queen ? How childish of her. Your MIL was being gracious offering to exchange the toy. Tell your DS to grow up

olaflikeswarmhugs Wed 05-Nov-14 20:21:14

Oh that's a brilliant idea ! smile

olaflikeswarmhugs Wed 05-Nov-14 20:23:35

Dsis point was that it was silly of mil to buy anything before his birthday to wait and see what he got . I should have told mil this although to be fair it was dh who took the phone call

No I wouldn't say he's at MILs much . But the one dsis got him could stay at my parents he's there a lot.

tiredteddy Wed 05-Nov-14 20:26:11

My question was meant to discern whether it'd be suitable to have two items the same. We've had this before and it can be ok sometimes like pp said having one at mil house. Hope it all works out, present buying can be stressful!

olaflikeswarmhugs Wed 05-Nov-14 20:47:09

I think if it is the same one I can persuade dsis to give me her receipt and mil to give me the toy and I can take it back to where dsis got it and exchange it for something for mil to give him for Christmas .

youmakemydreams Wed 05-Nov-14 20:49:22

Why was it silly of mil to buy before his birthday but not unreasonable of anyone else? Your dsis for example.
Of course she got him a present is that not what people do? confused

Sorry but I do not see why the onus is on your mil to take it back. Your dsis needs to grow up. They both had a good idea and bought the same gift. It happens. Your sis is being a bit of a drama queen.

olaflikeswarmhugs Wed 05-Nov-14 20:52:51

Youmakemydreams I'm not sure what you mean ? No one else has bought him a Christmas present before his birthday .

The reason dsis wants mil to take hers back is because she has 6 weeks to find him another Christmas present but dsis would have nothing to give him for his birthday .

I completely agree with you though about how dsis is handling it though

olaflikeswarmhugs Wed 05-Nov-14 21:10:49

Said though a bit too much there blush

WooWooOwl Wed 05-Nov-14 21:14:03

Your sister is being quite self centred with this. What would she say if Mil said she'd bought hers first and had decided to give it as a birthday rather than a Christmas gift?

olaflikeswarmhugs Wed 05-Nov-14 21:17:29

Same thing probably owlblush

Sunna Wed 05-Nov-14 21:26:19

Your sister sounds horrible, frankly. What a mean thing for her to do to your MiL. Tell her to take it back, nasty woman.

youmakemydreams Wed 05-Nov-14 21:34:18

Sorry was getting confused between birthdays and Christmas.
In that case I can kind of see dsis point in a way as mil has longer to sort something out so a polite request is not entirely unreasonable but if you reckon she would behave the same regardless then I'd be inclined to get the gift and the receipt of dsis and change that one since she won't have the time. But I'm petty like that grin there is just no need to be rude and she was.

olaflikeswarmhugs Wed 05-Nov-14 21:50:31

Yeah dsis is very much a "not my problem" kind of person hmm

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