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...to think that sex at 13 is NOT normal?

(114 Posts)
WotchOotErAPolis Wed 05-Nov-14 18:42:07

Now that dear old Nanny State is considering distributing sex-ed material saying that sex at 13 is normal, AIBU to think that it's condoning illegal and unwise behaviour?

www.christianconcern.com/our-concerns/education/schools-being-told-sex-at-13-is-normal

tawdryslapper Wed 05-Nov-14 18:43:50

thats not really what the Brook's material is saying, and its certainly not 'being advocated by the government'. Its a coalition of charities producing potential resources to be used in specific situations. God frobid that teachers should use their common sense when teaching SRE.

WhyBeHappyWhenYouCouldBeNormal Wed 05-Nov-14 18:43:57

Well, if it makes you feel better you can stick your head back in the sand.

But a lot of 13 year olds are having regular sex.

Hakluyt Wed 05-Nov-14 18:46:21

I'd have to see the literature first. The website you link to is unlikely to be an impartial observer. Anyone got a link to the actual text?

enderwoman Wed 05-Nov-14 18:46:56

I have a 13 year old son and sex is not the norm amongst his peers. School sex ed has not suggested that to him either.

AuntieStella Wed 05-Nov-14 18:47:50

The state isn't distributing this. Just mentioning it somewhere on a list.

And which list does it figure on?

(The reason I ask is because of a phonics programme which claimed it was on a DofEd list. It didn't mention that the list assessed a large number of resources, and that did not represent any form of endorsement).

moxon Wed 05-Nov-14 18:47:56

What's with all the 'age 13' threads on MN this week...?

Dawndonnaagain Wed 05-Nov-14 18:49:34

Perfectly normal in the middle ages.
Sex education is crucial, we have failed as a country in regard to sex education for years, 13 year olds do have sex so let's arm them with enough information to stay safe, know how to refuse, know when it's wrong (adults) and not wrong (peers). I personally think that contraception and the morning after pill should freely available in all schools.

OddFodd Wed 05-Nov-14 18:49:44

I don't think it's the norm but my best friend at school was having sex at 13. At 14 she had an abortion and I am now 49 so yes, some 13 year olds do have sex.

I can't be arsed to read your link because it's likely to be as objective about sex ed as Farage is about immigrants

nobodyishomerightnow Wed 05-Nov-14 18:50:57

Considering the average age that someone has sex for the first time is 17 and only 20% of teenagers under 16 have had sex then I highly doubt that lots of 13 year olds are having sex.

meditrina Wed 05-Nov-14 18:51:49

This is the 'traffic light tool' they reference

It's not a teaching resource BTW. It's a tool to guide teachers, about the degrees of seriousness of various behaviours.

QueenTilly Wed 05-Nov-14 18:53:04

I read the DM coverage of this, and noted that a spokeslady was being quoted misrepresenting the age of consent laws to imply that under-sixteens were breaking the law when they had sex. No, the law is to protect under-sixteens from exploitation, not to criminalise them.

Wellthen Wed 05-Nov-14 18:54:49

It doesn't mean 'normal' as in common, it means normal as in 'not abnormal'. I agree 13 is a young min age (it relates to 13 to 17 year olds) but ultimately, a 13 year old having sex does in itself indicate mh problems, abuse etc.

Its not great, I would still be concerned about that child as it is not safe behaviour. I do not believe 13 year olds are emotionally ready. But it has been taken out of context and used as a stick to beat 'sex education' with.

This tool is for helping professionals spot children who have abnormal sexual behaviours and highlight that, like it or not, children are not asexual. Some 13 year olds have been sexually mature for some time, given that puberty can start at 8.

ExpectTheVeryUnexpected Wed 05-Nov-14 18:58:47

I was having sex at this age and so we're a good few other people in my year at school. In hindsight I was manipulated into it (by a peer) and wish I had never engaged in any sexual activity until older and more mature as I think it has skewered my views of normal and abnormal relationships and sex.

Bowlersarm Wed 05-Nov-14 18:58:55

Some 13 year olds have sex. They always have done.

bigTillyMint Wed 05-Nov-14 19:01:32

A lot of 13 year olds are having regular sex.

That is not my experience either - when DD was 13 and now DS is 13, the ones that were doing "stuff" (not even full penetrative sex) were/are very much in the minority from what they say.

Unless there were loads of 13 year olds having sex and keeping VERY quiet about it

Wellthen Wed 05-Nov-14 19:02:32

Can I point out that in the 9-13 section, sexual intercourse is a red behaviour. They are not encouraging 13 year olds to have sex.

mummymeister Wed 05-Nov-14 19:02:55

hmm perhaps some 13 yr olds do have sex but isn't this about empowering young women to say no if they want to rather than bombarding them with twerking pop stars and pictures of how they should look? its a respect issue in my book. too many young people who don't value or respect themselves and get brainwashed by the crap on the telly and in the magazines. that's where it starts, in the media.

ghostyslovesheep Wed 05-Nov-14 19:04:36

well now lets stop jerking our knee for a moment OP and actually try and understand what is actually happening here - then comeback and starts a calm reasoned discussion

no one is saying sex at 13 is normal ...it isn't - but it happens

Cantbelievethisishappening Wed 05-Nov-14 19:05:06

Pretty normal these days.
Hardly condoning it.

BackOnlyBriefly Wed 05-Nov-14 19:06:46

if Christian Concern say it then you can be pretty sure it's bullshit. They are playing on your fears for your children to advance their own agenda.

BackOnlyBriefly Wed 05-Nov-14 19:10:33

Oh and the Vatican only raised the age of consent there from 12 to 18 recently. Did Christian Concern say anything to them about it I wonder.

Sicksquid Wed 05-Nov-14 19:11:07

..and what is that agenda?

PigletJohn Wed 05-Nov-14 19:19:36

The link refers to several age groups. One of them is age 9 to 13

If you look at the link age 13 to 17 section is naturally says something different.

I believe that the approach "No, no, you mustn't, you're too young" has been tried repeatedly for thousands of years, and has not worked yet.

BackOnlyBriefly Wed 05-Nov-14 19:58:10

and what is that agenda?

Let's see.

An end to compulsory sex education for a start. They think if you don't tell them about sex they will never have any.

An end to the requirement to promote equality (they want to be able to teach in class that little Tommy's two dads filthy perverts)

An end to a requirement to promote diversity. After all there's Christians who are right because they talk to the real god and then there's other people who don't count

Will that do for now? You can google them if you like

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