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to let down DM re Tower of London poppies

(42 Posts)
Dovahkiin Wed 05-Nov-14 16:22:13

DM really wants to see the poppies. She won't go alone and, having recently moved house, doesn't have any friends in the area. She's widowed and my DG's carer so a day out is a big deal for her. I initially said I would meet up with her on Friday with DD1 (just turned 2) and DD2 (6 weeks) but I'm having second thoughts having looked at the pictures of the crowds and the weather forecast. I really don't want to be standing outside for hours with the DDs. Am I being PFB? I'm sure DM would understand if I explained it to her but I don't want to let her down unnecessarily.

Pootles2010 Wed 05-Nov-14 16:26:11

How far do you live from London? If you're quite close, could you go first thing and then go for breakfast? That's my plan at least. Hoping the crowds won't be quite as bad now half term is done, but may be being optimistic...

Wowthishurtsalot Wed 05-Nov-14 16:26:24

YABU she's had a rough ride and being a carer is intense.

If you don't want to get in the thick of the crowds don't get off the train at Tower Hill, walk from another station or get a river taxi, stand back and let your mum go down and look

LadyLuck10 Wed 05-Nov-14 16:27:13

Yanbu, the weather is far too miserable to stand around with the little ones especially if it starts raining.

Wowthishurtsalot Wed 05-Nov-14 16:29:30

That's what rain covers on pushchairs were made for

Bowlersarm Wed 05-Nov-14 16:30:05

YABU, it's a one off experience.

SophiaPetrillo Wed 05-Nov-14 16:31:07

You should go. I got the chance of something similar years ago and bottled out because of some stupid reason and I've eternally regretted it.

toriuk Wed 05-Nov-14 16:31:18

Yabu just get there early when its dead.

Hakluyt Wed 05-Nov-14 16:31:39

6 weeks?hmm How are you feeling?<hard stare>If you're properly up to it, then baby in a sling, toddler in a pushchair and go really really early.

Could the children's father possibly take the day off and look after the toddler at home?

Leeds2 Wed 05-Nov-14 16:31:58

I would go.

Yarp Wed 05-Nov-14 16:33:36

I don't blame you. This would have been too much for me with a baby and a toddler.

We went in half term and it was the busiest event I have been to in London, and I live here.

Is she infirm or unconfident? I wonder if you could accompany her to a viewing point, then pop off to sit in a cafe at St Katherine's Dock with the kids, and meet her there.

tywysogesgymraeg Wed 05-Nov-14 16:33:58

Surely DM will help you with the kids? You won't be on your own. Great photo opportunity for posterity - both DCs at the poppies

Pootles2010 Wed 05-Nov-14 16:36:00

Just had a look at website - it looks like it's beautifully lit at night, you could go with your mum on an evening, just the two of you, and go for dinner? And leave DC's with your OH.

Yarp Wed 05-Nov-14 16:37:14


Yes, I think that's a good idea. dh is going tonight

Dolallytats Wed 05-Nov-14 16:38:53

I think they were saying the crowds were really bad because it was half term. I don't think it will be as bad now the children are back at school.

Dovahkiin Wed 05-Nov-14 16:39:14

I'm coming round to it - thanks. It'll mean a taxi to the station, 45 minutes on the train to Charing Cross - where I will insist DM meets me. Sling, pushchair, brolly, shocked commuters by BFing in a sleep-deprived and increasingly cavalier manner. Looks like an excellent day to me. Sigh.

fromparistoberlin73 Wed 05-Nov-14 16:41:20

just go early- get the first train after the commuters0 I know 2 families who went this weekend and saw it- lets face it once you have seen them- time to go!

however- rain is forecast so maybe an evening session

plus 6 weeks! thats very small baby, OK I am letting you off now !!!

Novia Wed 05-Nov-14 16:41:49

I work next to the Tower and although last week was utterly horrendous, it's much better this week. If you come early (before 10.30am) or later (after 4pm) you'll be fine.

Dovahkiin Wed 05-Nov-14 16:42:38

Would love an evening out with DM but DD2 is pretty much attached to me 24 hours day. Nice suggestion though dreams of a nice meal out with wine and, y'know, adults

KnittedJimmyChoos Wed 05-Nov-14 16:43:06

I really think you should go and make the effort. I went the other week with a wild animaltoddler who wont be strapped in any push chair, running off in all directions, my other DC and also elderly parent who is disabled and it was fine, its such a wonderful part of London, I was in two minds but I am glad I made it, for your poor dm I wouldnt let her down.

Teladi Wed 05-Nov-14 16:43:32

With a 6 week old, there is no way I would have been able to do this.

WooWooOwl Wed 05-Nov-14 16:44:01

You don't really have anything to be PFB about, your baby will be fine.

It will be a hard day for you with a baby and a toddler, but not so hard that you couldn't just get on and do it. It sounds like it would mean a lot to your Mum, and especially as she's lost her husband, I think you should suck it up and go.

skylark2 Wed 05-Nov-14 16:45:32

My coworker was just telling me that she and her DH went at 9am and it was quiet.

Personally I would not have coped at 6 weeks, and my DM wouldn't have asked. But if you're up for it apart from the queues, go really early.

whattheseithakasmean Wed 05-Nov-14 16:48:38

You could make an evening of it with DM & DD2 & leave the toddler behind. No pushchair & hardly anything to carry if you are breastfeeding. I often went out for meals when they were at the BF baby stage - lovely adult evenings that would not suit a toddler but a teeny baby happily fed/zizzed through.

Cactuar Wed 05-Nov-14 16:51:29

OP I went on Monday afternoon and it was fine - bit busy but we were able to walk right down to the front straight away. It was nothing like the crowds they showed last week and at the weekend. We were very lucky with timing as it had literally just stopped hammering down and the sun was coming out so got some beautiful pictures. It is definitely worth seeing if you can.

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