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To wonder why it takes DH so long to do the kitchen?

(26 Posts)
TheLyingOldBitchAndHerWardrobe Wed 05-Nov-14 15:11:49

I can't seem to get to the bottom of it.

On the nights when it's his job to do the clearing up after dinner (which is maybe half the week) it takes him around an hour. And he still won't have done it all, he'll leave dirty water in the sink and crumbs on the side etc.

In the interests of science (I'm off work and bored) I have just timed myself cleaning the kitchen and it took me twelve minutes.

This was all of last nights dinner things (yes ok that's skanky but I'm ill and dh had to do both Scout runs and a guitar lesson last night so it was left) and the detritus from this morning's hideous before school drama. The Beechams has kicked in and I've run out of telly so I thought I'd have a tidy up.

Anyway. TWELVE MINUTES. I have emptied and restacked the dishwasher, bleach sprayed and cleaned all the tops and cupboards, including the hob which he never ever wipes, washed the baking trays and tidied up, including sorting the weeks worth of post.

So now, also in the interests of science, I want to know how the hell he can stretch that all out to an hour and STILL not have the end result of a tidy, clean kitchen.

I've asked him before and he says it just takes that long. He is one of life's eternal faffers though.

Do you think it would be incredibly patronising if I stood over him later while he does it and marked him on time taken v end result?

mommy2ash Wed 05-Nov-14 15:14:20

why do you care how long it takes him. just let him at it

TheLyingOldBitchAndHerWardrobe Wed 05-Nov-14 15:16:02

Because it means he either flops about moaning how tired he is afterwards or I have to then do more than my fair share of bath and bedtime stuff.

Plus he thinks he does more than me around the house because it takes him longer. When the truth is I do loads but more efficiently.

TheRealAmandaClarke Wed 05-Nov-14 15:17:16

It can take me an hour when Im MNing.
Othewise, 20 minutes.

StrawberryCheese Wed 05-Nov-14 15:18:08

As long as he's doing it, does it matter? It's keeping him out of mischief for a bit longer wink.

On the other end of the scale, I am suspicious of how DH cleans the bathroom so quickly and how it doesn't smell clean like when i do it.

Davsmum Wed 05-Nov-14 15:19:03

Dunno if it is a man thing - but my DP has to stay in the kitchen for hours if he is cooking dinner. When I do it - I can prepare stuff and come out of the kitchen, popping back when necessary, but not him,..He is 'busy' for the whole time from start to serving up.
I don't get it!

TheRealAmandaClarke Wed 05-Nov-14 15:19:13

My DH never compLetely Cleans the kitchen. There's always a mess left somewhere. He gets engrossed in TV.

googoodolly Wed 05-Nov-14 15:26:44

DP is quick, but he doesn't wash the sink out afterwards so there's always bits of old food or whatever sat at the bottom. The dishes are his job, so I leave it and he just has to wash it out next time.

But, an hour is excessive. Is he fannying around so he doesn't have to do other things?

SpringBreaker Wed 05-Nov-14 15:27:10

my ex could spend a whole morning doing the bathroom, then expect to be praised for it the rest of the day, and he never once remembered to do the mirror (how he could miss the fecking thing that was 2 metres long by 1 meter high on one wall of a small bathroom I have no idea)... not the only reason he is an ex, but one of them..

Davsmum Wed 05-Nov-14 15:41:08

What IS it with men wanting praise for doing anything in the house? MY DP is upset if I don't notice he has done something and has to point it out waiting for a 'well done' ??!
I just get on with things and never think to mention I have done it.
It may be he thinks I never do anything because I never announce it?

Artandco Wed 05-Nov-14 15:47:03

About an hour here also. Dh wouldn't classify the kitchen as clean though if the floor wasn't hoovered and mopped. So something like:

5 mins clear table of dishes and scrap leftovers
5 mins load dishwasher
10 mins to wipe and clean table and work tops.
5 mins washing up pans that can't go in dishwasher and clean sink
5 mins wipe hob or oven or both
15 mins to Hoover kitchen and under table, then mop same area. Including moving all stools/ chairs etc

TheRealAmandaClarke Wed 05-Nov-14 15:47:05

One or the other would suit me when it comes to housework.
Do the job fast but not very well
Or takes ages and do it beautifully.

Slow and sloppy is annoying, especially if he's expecting major credit.

GrouchyKiwi Wed 05-Nov-14 15:49:09

My DH is the same and I've never figured it out. We don't have a dishwasher. It takes me half an hour to do the washing up and clean the kitchen after dinner, he takes twice as long. I figure it means I get time to watch a full episode of something he doesn't like while I feed the baby so I don't complain. wink

DiaDuit Wed 05-Nov-14 15:55:48

5 mins clear table of dishes and scrap leftovers how does this take 5 minutes? Lift dishes and scrape- go back for second set, repeat, and maybe a third set. You are talking a minute at most. And this would include setting them in dishwasher as soon as finished scraping.

5 mins load dishwasher again- no way would this take 5 mins. It's part of the 1 minute clear and scrape job

10 mins to wipe and clean table and work tops. confused spray spray spray spray- wipe wipe wipe wipe. 1 minute job.
5 mins washing up pans that can't go in dishwasher and clean sink yep that one is about right.

5 mins wipe hob or oven or both spray and wipe. 1 min at most. But i'd be amazed if it takes that at all.

15 mins to Hoover kitchen and under table, then mop same area. Including moving all stools/ chairs etc if the kitchen is massive then fair enough.

Thebodynowchillingsothere Wed 05-Nov-14 15:58:11

He's hoping you will get fed up and take over.

I have a dh and 2 dss like this.

I have a looser claxon that I blast in their vicinity if they either moan or take too long to do a job.

Very loud and satisfying done from the sofa with a glass of wine in hand.

Artandco Wed 05-Nov-14 16:11:01

Dia - that is around how long everything takes. That's doing it alone, so usually everyone helps so it's much quicker.

Clearing table to me is - removing x4 main plates/bowls, x4 side plates, x4 water glasses, x2 wine glasses, x3/4 serving dishes and utensils and cutlery. Carafe of water, carafe of wine, table mats away, napkins in laundry basket etc

10 mins to clean work tops and table - includes brushing off and cleaning children's chairs ( 3 and 4 years so crumbs still!), wiping table and cleaning, drying table ( it's glass), then wiping all work tops including island.

On a regular day the kids help clear table, scrap plates, one adult does glass and heavy stuff and loads dishwasher and at same time other adult wraps leftovers for fridge, and starts wiping/ brushing stuff. Then floor so takes more like 20 ish mins

MollyHooper Wed 05-Nov-14 16:11:22

Could he be farting about on his phone or something?

DH is a faffer and that's usually why.

DiaDuit Wed 05-Nov-14 16:20:21

No i really cant see 5 minutes/10 minutes for those tasks. My table is glass too. I spray with cleaner, wipe with cloth, spray with white vinegar and wipe with kitchen roll. It doesnt even take 1 minute.

Mammanat222 Wed 05-Nov-14 16:35:00

I can hoover and mop my whole (not too tiny) place in less than 15 minutes and that includes the staircase!

TheLyingOldBitchAndHerWardrobe Wed 05-Nov-14 16:36:04

Our cleaner only takes three hours to do the whole house so I can't see how the kitchen could ever take an hour.

Artandco Wed 05-Nov-14 16:43:45

Tbf our kitchen is part of kitchen/ diner/ living room so I suppose that's most the living part of flat cleaned not just kitchen

ChippingInAutumnLover Wed 05-Nov-14 16:54:53

Make him hand his phone & iPad/ laptop over to you before he starts grin

Nanny cam?

Or alternate whole nights. One of you does the kitchen & kids bedtime. I bet that speeds things up!

TheBatteriesHaveRunOut Wed 05-Nov-14 17:13:40

set up a camera and film him

be warned - you may find out he has some bizarro Flash fetish or is having it off with the toaster

or (more likely) having a wee nap in front of the oven, where it's warm

cheifbrody Wed 05-Nov-14 17:36:40

Takes me 10 mins..

Takes oh half hour.

Takes him ten minutes to turn the tap on, I can hear him out there now doing something but no tap on yet.

ILovedYouYesterday Wed 05-Nov-14 17:39:53

I have to then do more than my fair share of bath and bedtime stuff

I suspect that might be a factor but you'll never get him to admit to it!

My DH still takes ages (takes him twice as long as me to cook a bog standard meal too) but not quite as long as it used to when our DC were small and needing baths and bedtimes hmm

I don't care how long it takes mine now as long as it doesn't involve me!

He has even stopped leaving the dirty water in the bowl with just one random item floating in it which he did for years and years!

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