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AIBU?

to think THIS is why you shouldn't complain if you can't take pictures of your DC on stage in their nativity play

173 replies

Wolfbasher · 05/11/2014 10:38

There's always a few threads this time of year complaining about schools that have a 'no photo' rule at the nativity play.

Some children need to be protected from having their image spread around, because there are unpleasant people trying to find them. This was one.

BBC link

Obviously there's no suggestion that it was a school photo that helped this particular abuser to track down this mother and child. But there are children in UK schools today who are at this kind of risk. I just don't get why people think their right to bob about taking blurry pictures/video during a performance trumps another family's safety. Take your picture of your child in costume before/after the performance. You don't need to record every second of it.

We didn't have video cameras when i was a child and i am really not scarred by not having a recording of my second-angel-on-left debut.

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Letthemtalk · 05/11/2014 10:43

I very much understand your point. But, any pictures or videos I take of my children are not shared wider than family/ close friends so I don't think I am putting other children at risk?

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futterwacken · 05/11/2014 10:44

Yes there’s absolutely no need to film every moment of every thing. Same can be said about any kind of performance tbh.

I find using my eyes to watch things is really effective.

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futterwacken · 05/11/2014 10:45

You might be responsible with pictures you take but not everyone will be so it’s better to have a blanket rule.

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NorwaySpruce · 05/11/2014 10:47

Our school has a 'no photography' rule, but charges £25 for a copy of the DVD of entire performances, everyone included.

Most people record the shows and keep the film within their own family.

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IsabellaPong · 05/11/2014 10:47

Lots of people whack photos online and aren't even aware of privacy settings. The amount of people who have their profiles and pictures of children set to public would mean that photos would get out. It's easier to ban everyone just in case.

People need to stop living life through a camera!

Those poor people in that article :(

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rebelfor · 05/11/2014 10:53

There are actually no 'official rules' to say you can't record/take pictures of children in a school play, it's the individual school who decides to ban it.

My daughters school allows us to take pictures, on the proviso none of them are uploaded to social network sites.

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ReallyTired · 05/11/2014 10:54

The biggest issue is that people cannot be trusted not to put photos on social media.

Often schools have children who are in local authority care and they often have equally harrowing stories. The school either has to exclude the LAC child from the school play or ban photography.

Our school (when they did school plays :( before it failed OFSTED) Used to allow parents to photgraph their own children but not other children.

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ScreamEggsAndHam · 05/11/2014 10:56

That's got nothing to do with taking photos of your children at school though so your whole title and link is very misleading.
If people plaster other kids all over FB or distribute photos of the play, I could start to see your point.
Parents taking pictures of their children in a play for posterity in their OWN family should be allowed.

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itsstillhotinperth · 05/11/2014 10:57

Yes. Understand the point made and agree with letthemtalk. We live in Oz, grandparents live in UK, DH works in S. Korea on 8 week work 2 week relief rotation - they all really like to see their children/grandchildren, particularly DH. So only email vid within family. Camera is the only way my extended family and lovely DH get to see what the DC are doing. Doesn't get posted on facebook either.

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IsabellaPong · 05/11/2014 10:57

And how do they monitor who is keeping them offline, scream?

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NickAngel · 05/11/2014 10:57

I agree-, it would be wonderful to watch a performance without people holding iPads up so they can film. I barely saw my DS sing last year as view blocked by piggin selfish people holding the iPads.
Try just using your eyes and actually watch something and enjoy the moment.
Then there won't be images floating in the cloud that you have no control over too

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capsium · 05/11/2014 10:58

The only thing is our school also gives pictures to the local media. Although you can opt out.

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AuntieStella · 05/11/2014 11:03

"The school either has to exclude the LAC child from the school play or ban photography."

They cannot exclude the LAC child. So the options are stop having plays or the or ban photography.

Audience members filming, especially with larger (and brighter) devices, is pretty intrusive/distracting in itself.

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mausmaus · 05/11/2014 11:03

My daughters school allows us to take pictures, on the proviso none of them are uploaded to social network sites.

but how do you control that. for example if you torward a picture to a friend or family member who promptly uploads to social media with questionable security settings...

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TheKitchenWitch · 05/11/2014 11:06

I understand the issues, but do think that just banning photos at school productions is not really going to stop the problem as we become more and more digital and virtual.
Social networking is a fairly established (and for some, integral) part of life today. I'm not sure how effective it is to say you can't upload photos you have taken onto FB etc. There are so many occasions when you can be photographed these days, half the time without even knowing it. How much control can we realistically expect to have over these digital images?

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Wolfbasher · 05/11/2014 11:07

Notinperth/letthemtalk

Why do you need to send grandparents photo / video of the school play performance actually happening? Why not send a picture of your child in their costume before/after the play, or any of the million other things they're doing?

I assume that your school allows the photography, in which case, it's not a problem. I am really talking about the people who sneakily take photos/videos even though it's not allowed, or who kick up a fuss about that fact. It is the sheer selfishness of that 'well, it's just my family/friends/the people they happen to show things to, so I don't see any risk and I'll do what i like even though i've been told not to' attitude that bugs me.

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furcoatbigknickers · 05/11/2014 11:07

That families experiences are horrific, that is all.

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rebelfor · 05/11/2014 11:09

I don't know mausmaus, I often wonder that myself.

The Headmistress comes on stage before the performance and says ''Hope you all enjoy the play.... We will allow you to take pictures and record but can we just ask you not to put the pictures onto facebook etc''.

Possibly hoping that some parents are friends on the site and would report the pictures if they were uploaded.

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MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 05/11/2014 11:15

Yanbu. Children's safety must always come first.

I wonder how many of these videos even get watched again? I couldn't see my pfb's first assembly because of all the selfish people in the front row with their iPads.

Oh, and those saying they understand but they only share with close friends and family you do not understand. Not at all.

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Wolfbasher · 05/11/2014 11:18

Oh, and those saying they understand but they only share with close friends and family you do not understand. Not at all.

Exactly.

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Purplepixiedust · 05/11/2014 11:18

Our school allow photos or recordings but ask that they are not shared on social media.

They allow opportunity at the end of the show to photograph your own children in costume.

All very sensible.

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Purplepixiedust · 05/11/2014 11:20

Oh and I don't know anyone who has broken this rule in my social group. Those who might thoughtlessly have posted are suitabley deterred from doing so.

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Comito · 05/11/2014 11:21

I'm afraid I don't get your point with the BBC link. It's got absolutely nothing to do with taking photos/videos of nativity plays and even you say there's no suggestion the exP tracked them down in this way.

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ThinkIveBeenHacked · 05/11/2014 11:23

I dont get the need to snap and film everything in life. We went to Disney on Ice and one bloke sat with his ipad filming the whole thing. And we were at the back of the arean so the quality through his screen was crap. Justput the devices away!

Maybe schools could allow parents to stay behind at the end and get a photo of their little one in costume on the stage (parents only snapping their own dcs).

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HamishBamish · 05/11/2014 11:26

I don't see the need to take photographs or film during the performance. I hate having to peer through a sea of people holding up their phones/cameras. Why can't people just watch the performance and enjoy it? It's all very well to say that you wouldn't share photos on social media, but unfortunately not everyone can be trusted.

Imo schools should allow a group photo of all the children at the end of the performance (with those who don't want to or shouldn't be photographed removed). That way everyone gets what they want without the risk to vulnerable children.

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