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AIBU to feel old?

(19 Posts)
Fabulous46 Tue 04-Nov-14 21:27:42

46, 47 next year. I've no kids at home now and about to become a granny. It seems only yesterday they were all babies and toddlers and it was knackering. I will never forget the lack of sleep! DH and I are quite happy having 'us' time to do holidays and what we want when we want. I can sleep late at the weekend and do my own thing, it's great.

Then the bombshell gets dropped "mum will you be giving up work next year when X goes back to work to look after the baby? You'll be retiring soon anyway." I'm still gobsmacked. I'm 46 no where near retiring! Is it so bad to think I won't retire to look after grand kids full time? Bloody hell I'm only 46!

cerealqueen Tue 04-Nov-14 21:30:05

I'd nip that idea in the bud pronto! YABU, 46 is not old. Bloody cheek of them!!

Littlefish Tue 04-Nov-14 21:30:50

I'm 46 and have a 9 year old dd. When I was 9, my mum was only 32 - I still thought she was old.

As a child, I remember working out that I would be 32 in the year 2000 and knowing that I would be really old by then.

I think our parents always seem old to us, until we reach that age, and then we realise how young they really were (if you see what I mean!).

Just laugh when your children ask if you are retiring and tell them that you're planning to work for at least another 20 years (or however many).

redexpat Tue 04-Nov-14 21:31:22

Bloody hell thats a bit presumptious!

bigbluestars Tue 04-Nov-14 21:32:56

Retiring at 46! No way. I am 53 and have just embarked on a new career. I don't feel old at all.

patronisingbitchinthewardrobe Tue 04-Nov-14 21:36:37

For heaven's sake, don't give up your job at 47! You've got twenty years left to work.

But, the pull of the grandchild is very strong. I'd love to look after mine. But her mum is at home and rightly wants to look after her own baby thanks very much, and baby insisted on going to school at two years nine months, so even though my job gave me up in the end (I'm ten years older than you) there's no childcare in it.

Don't make a final decision yet. Until she gave birth, daughter was going back to work full time and baby was going to nursery, then a traumatic delivery and changes in circumstances meant she wanted to be and could be a SAHM. Things could change.

Pensionerpeep Tue 04-Nov-14 21:37:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Momagain1 Tue 04-Nov-14 21:37:48

46 is NOT anywhere near retirement, tell them to check their numbers! For goodness sake, many women your age only had children within the last decade! (Me. Actually, I am almost 50, with a 7 year old)(and a grandson 2 via his sister, age 30)

Enjoy the hell out of the rest of your 40s and your 50s. A long period of good health, no kids at home, and a bit of spare cash is the payoff for having kids young!

Bunbaker Tue 04-Nov-14 21:39:16

When I was 46 I had a 5 year old.

I am 56 now and nowhere near ready to retire. DD is in year 10 and I need to save money for supporting her at university.

Hamuketsu Tue 04-Nov-14 21:39:37

Goodness. I have no hope of being in your position when I'm as young as 46! But if I was, I'd be pretty offended at that notion. Were they joking? You've at least 20 more years of working life before you reach retirement age. Besides, you might not actually want to embark on another stint of child-rearing.

Are they going to support you financially and have you come to live with them when you get old? If not, perhaps they'd better let you get on with making money to support yourself now and in your still distant retirement.

mrsdavidbowie Tue 04-Nov-14 21:40:16

That's why I have no desire to be a grandmother

feckitall Tue 04-Nov-14 21:43:21

I think I would have roared with laughter and said 'very funny!'

I'm 48 with 3 adult DC and 2 DGS..I will babysit if required but I won't be giving up work much before 75 I don' t money, no prospect of earning enough to do so either..
Besides I'm busy, full time work, I play sport up to 3 times a week. I am also doing a degree. All of which I couldn't do when DC were little.
Besides ..their DC ..their responsibility. <shrugs>

temporaryusername Tue 04-Nov-14 21:44:07

At 46 your career progress is as important as anyone else's, including the mother thinking of going back to work. That would be a no! I think you should feel young, because you are very young to be in your position and should be able to have a great time! I would frighten them by staging a pregnancy 'scare', and ask if they'd look after the baby while you go back to work, since they'll be at home anyway looking after their own smile.

Hamuketsu Tue 04-Nov-14 21:46:04

Ha! I love temporaryusername's idea grin

PinkSquash Tue 04-Nov-14 21:46:22

I would be furious with the presumption that you will be unpaid childcare, you're still young.

I was told that I had the children not my parents/PIL so it's not their place to look after DGC-unless it's through your own choice.

winkywinkola Tue 04-Nov-14 21:51:19


I think you should continue being a child free zone - apart from babysitting in the evenings and visits from the family. Kick up your heels, savour your free time, have some amazing experiences. It's your time to do that. Don't be drawn into more childcare duties. You've done that.

I am so looking forward to some freedom in about 20 years time - I will be 63. I will relish it.

And I'm afraid I won't be offering childcare services other than very regular babysitting in the evenings and a regular supply of casseroles.

Bad granny in the making!

Fabulous46 Tue 04-Nov-14 22:08:36

I love being child free on my days off. I know that sounds bad but I work with kids EVERY day and cherish my child free days. I do love my kids BUT I never anticipated being asked to care for my grand kids while their parents worked.

My DIL is lovely, she really is but I think it's her decision to return to work and sort childcare out. I know that sounds harsh. I'd be more than happy to have the wee one at weekends to give mum a break, just not all week!

I like the pregnancy scare idea grin

MammaTJ Wed 05-Nov-14 17:46:01

I am 47 and a student nurse. Retiring is very far from my mind at this point in my life!

CMOTDibbler Wed 05-Nov-14 18:03:14

Wow. Just wow. Ask them if they'll be paying you to childmind as you'll need an income for the next 20 years of work time!

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