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to expect people to respect my decision fb related

(42 Posts)
zobey Tue 04-Nov-14 19:52:07

My sister in law is constantly putting pictures of my daughter 2 on her profile which is unprotected and anyone can see them. I've asked her on several occasions to stop as I don't put pictures of dd on anymore unless it's a special occasion. How would you go about it. I'm concerned for my dds safety around her now and want my dd not to see her anymore.

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye Tue 04-Nov-14 19:59:23

Report the photos.

Then keep your DD away from her. Your child, your decision.

SweetTeaVodka Tue 04-Nov-14 20:01:31

I'm pretty sure there is an option where you can report the photo to Facebook and ask them to remove it. Mention that the photos are of your child and you haven't given permission for them to be shared.

And have a proper conversation with your sister in law about why you don't want them on there and respecting your wishes. Is she your SIL through your husband or your brother? Could you ask them to back you up?

skylark2 Tue 04-Nov-14 20:05:59

How is your daughter magically safer when the photos are of special occasions?

YABU. But she's your daughter and it's your choice.

QueenBean Tue 04-Nov-14 20:14:27

How is OP being unreasonable?! It's her child, her decision and she can set her own privacy settings so only friends can see the pictures.

Profile pics are almost always publicly viewable so it's understandable that she wouldn't want her child to be on someone's profile pic

Report the photo OP. And make sure your settings are at max privacy, FB tends to change them at random so stuff that's private doesn't always stay that way

26Point2Miles Tue 04-Nov-14 20:26:16

You are concerned for your dd safety?? Why?

Gumnast2014 Tue 04-Nov-14 20:29:36

What do you think will happen to the photos

Tinkerball Tue 04-Nov-14 20:32:04

Well its your DD of course and if you don't want photos on then fair enough. But I'm a bit puzzled about your worries regarding her safety - what are your concerns?

pippinleaf Tue 04-Nov-14 20:32:54

My sister doesn't want photos of her children on fb so I don't post them. I don't get why she would when you've asked her not to - for whatever reason.

IAmACircle Tue 04-Nov-14 20:47:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty Tue 04-Nov-14 20:48:01

I don't get the special occasion thing.

You either want digital images of her on the internet or you don't.

IAmACircle Tue 04-Nov-14 20:48:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty Tue 04-Nov-14 20:55:41

Anyway, because your child is under 13 you can report and they'll remove the pics.

Link to report form here

MrsTerrorPratchett Tue 04-Nov-14 21:04:15

I only put pictures on when they are unrecognisable (face-paint, from the back etc.). Special occasions only will make people think you are a bit silly.

PhoebeMcPeePee Tue 04-Nov-14 21:16:35

Whilst I do think YANBU purely because it's your child therefore your decision, I also feel you weaken your stance by putting photos on for special occasions.

I was asked never to share photos online of my goddaughter which I absolutely adhere to for no other reason than parents specifically requested it despite them actually having a valid reason (High net worth family with previous kidnap threat hmm)

I think you need to raise this again & say that until she can respect your wishes, no more photos to be taken PERIOD & any images posted will be reported to facebook.

ScreamEggsAndHam Tue 04-Nov-14 21:19:36

It doesn't matter what OP thinks will "magically happen" to her daughter if pictures are put up there.
How is she BU?! It's the PARENT'S decision, not someone else's! Some people's entitlement is astounding.
Report to FB.

Monathevampire1 Tue 04-Nov-14 21:21:48

Zobey you are sending out mixed messages. You post pictures on 'special occasions' so what is the difference? By all means tell her to stop but that means you need to as well.

MammaTJ Tue 04-Nov-14 21:21:56

Could you explain the harm your daughter will come to from having her loving Aunt posting pictures of her will come to?

I will answer properly once you have done so!

MrsRumbles Tue 04-Nov-14 21:28:04

Maybe she's not looking for an answer from you MammaTJ!

MrsTerrorPratchett Wed 05-Nov-14 00:33:54

Not the OP's answer but I can give you a few reasons, Mamma. I would like my DD to decide what pictures of herself she would like to post, when she is old enough to decide. I would like my DD to decide her level of comfort with her own online presence. I would like FB not to own my DD's image. I would like to be sure that if she is ever in a position of being threatened or stalked, she has control over images posted. I know that unexpected things happen and not having every event in my child's life on FB is safer.

In my mind it is an online version of your DParents showing every friend and BF you ever have pictures of you as a child. But now you can't even tell your parents not to because EVERYONE wants to put pictures everywhere.

mumwithanipad Wed 05-Nov-14 01:04:29

I didnt like my dds pics online and other than one incident with my Dad, my family accepted it.
MrsTerrorPratchets explanations are spot on. I wanted dd to choose for herself. Dd is 9 now and when family takes photos she asks them politely not to put them them online. I'm glad I said no when she was a baby as she'd be embarassed at having her baby pics on show.

I'd report images as other posters have mentioned.

Whippet81 Wed 05-Nov-14 04:43:28

Same as the two posters above - I had just had DS and I have posted a few obligatory pics because obviously everyone wants to see the new baby - I won't be posting pics of him everywhere after that. I have friends who put 5/6 pics a day of their kids up (often embarrassing ones) and a) it is bloody boring for everyone and b) I don't think it's fair - we didn't have this when we were kids - would you have wanted your parents to share every single moment of your life online for everyone to see? I wouldn't have wanted that.

I can see exactly what the OP is saying by special occasions - it's the same as the old sending family a pic at Christmas etc - they don't need an update everyday about what he is doing, what he is eating etc. I also don't share pics of other people's children without thief permission. By doing this you are taking out of control who can see those photos.

HelloItsMeFell Wed 05-Nov-14 05:32:06

It's annoying if she is doing this in spite of requests to stop it, and she should respect your feelings on the matter.

However, your feelings on the matter are a bit mad. Anyone who thinks something awful might happen to their child simply because a third party puts perfectly normal, run of the mill, harmless photos of them on their fb page is a being PFB on steroids.

Especially if you have posted photos of your DD on the internet yourself. That makes no sense at all.

Timetoask Wed 05-Nov-14 05:53:24

You are being a little paranoid. Nothing is hong to happen to your dd just because of pictures on fb! The world has gone crazy.

43percentburnt Wed 05-Nov-14 06:02:52

I think Yanbu. I have asked that no pics of my baby are put online. He can choose when he is old enough whether to have an online profile. It pisses me off as an adult when people put pics of me online, I have never put a pic of anyone online btw. Don't see the need.

As a teenager who encountered bullying I dread to think how online pics could be used. Yes it's cute when baby does xyz, but it could be a shy teenagers nightmare.

I think people are far too quick to snap a pic and post for the world to see, I daren't think what the t and c's of Facebook etc are like but I doubt most people have read them! Wasn't snap chat hacked recently?

Op the difficulty you have is the fact you put pics online of your baby. So people feel it's a free for all.

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