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to be panicking a bit about potential emergency

(79 Posts)
1wokeuplikethis Tue 04-Nov-14 16:32:02

I'm freaking out a little bit as I am solely responsible for my 18 month old daughter over the next few days as my husband is away. The days are fine but I'm panicking slightly about night time emergencies.

For instance, if we have a fire in the night we have a fire plan should we be unable to get down the stairs. But this only really works with both of us there to get our toddler into the low roof.

Anyway, the main thing I'm panicking about is if we get burgled or someone gets in the house. None of our doors lock in the house, so if this happens, should I phone 999 and then go into my lo's room (she would wake which would alert potential burger/murderer that we are in that room) or should I get out of the house & then phone police?

I want to have a plan in place rather than trying to think on the spot at that time should it happen.

So, do you have A Plan in an emergency? What would you do if home alone when something like the above happened?

EatShitDezza Tue 04-Nov-14 16:34:01

I'm home alone with my son all the time. My plan when a emergency happens will be thought of when the emergency happens.

Do you panic about these kind of things a lot?

ThatDamnedBitch Tue 04-Nov-14 16:35:10

Do you suffer from anxiety? As you seem to be quite wound up over potential emergencies than really are probably not going to happen.

I haven't a clue what we'd do if a burglar got in the house whilst we were in bed, probably phone the police and scream? confused (Not in that order).

amy83firsttimer Tue 04-Nov-14 16:35:47

Wow, I totally couldn't live life like that.
Enjoy the time alone with your child, take normal precautions like burglar alarm on overnight and check batteries in your smoke alarms, then try and relax.

Bramshott Tue 04-Nov-14 16:36:27

I usually turn my phone off and leave it downstairs at night, but if DH is away I bring it up to bed and have it on silent on the bedside table. Because DH is clearly a magic talisman against fire and burglary hmm!

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie Tue 04-Nov-14 16:36:46

I think you should see a Dr about your anxiety... worrying to the extent you seem to be isn't normal.

MonanaGellar Tue 04-Nov-14 16:36:58

It's sensible to have a plan for emergencies but you do sound quite worried.

Fwiw, in a fire, I'd drop my toddler out the window to the ground. Broken legs better than dead. With a burglar I'd ring 999 and go to dd's room. A disturbed burglar is more likely to leave than come and get you.

Idontseeanysontarans Tue 04-Nov-14 16:37:21

DH works away a lot so I'm used to it now but if you're not used to being alone then it can be daunting at first. Double check all of the doors are locked and take your phone with you to bed.
Don't work yourself up about it otherwise you'll never sleep smile

sillymillyb Tue 04-Nov-14 16:37:52

Hmmm, you know you might be over reacting right?

I'm a lone parent, if there's a fire ill damn well get ds out some how - it might not be ideal but I'd manage. Check your smoke alarms to reassure yourself?

Burglars I just figure I'd goto ds room and call police.... But in all my 33 and a half years I've never been burgled yet, so it's unlikely to happen over the next few days isn't it?

Idontseeanysontarans Tue 04-Nov-14 16:38:14

We have a cricket bat by the side of the bed by the way wink
even though I couldn't hit a barn door

Mama1980 Tue 04-Nov-14 16:38:58

Hi, Are you usually this anxious?
I'm a single mum, home with my 4 children every night, I lock the doors, keep the smoke alarm charged And keep my phone by me. That's about it.

BaffledSomeMore Tue 04-Nov-14 16:39:11

This seems very anxious behaviour and I'm an anxiety sufferer!
You can't plan for every eventuality. If there's a fire get into a room with a phone, shut the door and call 999. Do you have a working smoke alarm?
A burglar is likely to stay downstairs and scarper if they hear people waking up.

PumpkinPie2013 Tue 04-Nov-14 16:39:23

Sorry to hear you're panicking OP - you do sound very stressed about it sad

Is there anyone who can stay with you at least some of the nights? A friend or relative? Do you have neighbours? I'm sure they would help in an emergency - I know I would even if we weren't particularly friendly.

When you say none of your doors lock I assume you mean internal doors?

As long as your external doors are locked then in the unlikely event of someone breaking in you would hear them so could ring the police and a neighbour immediately? Do you have a burglar alarm you can set at night?

I'm really sorry you feel so stressed - I hope you have someone in RL to support while your husband is away.

hollie84 Tue 04-Nov-14 16:39:25

I don't have any plans. Fire or burglary are really unlikely.

Ragwort Tue 04-Nov-14 16:39:31

You sound incredibly anxious, I am often alone with my DS and beyond having working fire alarms and a vague thought about what to do in an emergency I have never been in the slightest bit worried just enjoyed a bit of peace and quiet with DH out of the house grin.

Do you live in a particularly high crime rate area? It has never even crossed my mind that we would be burgled or have an intruder in the house. (but then I am the sort of person that regularly forgets to lock the door or leaves the keys in the lock anyway blush.)

AesSedai Tue 04-Nov-14 16:39:49

I'm in my late 60s - never been in a fire and never been burgled.

Please stop worrying about happenings that may not happen.

Lampy Tue 04-Nov-14 16:41:45

It must be hard thinking about it all so much!

I am alone with my dd all the time. In the event of a fire I would throw her our the window I guess. I live in a ground floor flat so she'd bounce. A burglar/murderer?! Not a clue! Hopefully some instinct would kick in and I'd fend them off with my hot water bottle or something. Or jump out the window again.

rootypig Tue 04-Nov-14 16:42:19

Having a fire plan is sensible, and you should devise one that works when only one of you is at home with the little one.

Deciding how you would respond to an intruder is ok to think about too. I remember my parents, following several burglaries, installing a 'panic' button to trip the house alarm for my older sister when she was home alone studying for her A levels. How about making sure that your phone is charged and to hand, and installing a lock on an upstairs room door, if it would give you peace of mind?

I remember the first few weeks as a single parent, being terribly worried about my DD sleeping at the back of our ground floor flat. I do think if you're used to having another adult around, being on your own can be scary. That said, you do sound maybe unusually anxious - do you think that you are?

LumpenproletariatAndProud Tue 04-Nov-14 16:43:14

Are you a Virgo?

<misses point>

I have an panic-action plan for every perceivable event. I am an anxious person and I over worry.

However, I find if I think of the worst possible scenarios and figure out how Id deal with it, then hey presto! The worry has gone. Its not being pessimistic, its just being in control - sort of.

I have no idea how to suggest stuff to you because I don't know the layout of your house.

However I know, and can see that MNers will focus on your anxiety.

I just wanted to post to say hey, some of us aren't chilled by nature. Some of us over worry a little. Sometimes thats actually alright and not an indicator of depression and desperate need for counselling.

I hope you are in the category. smile

Viviennemary Tue 04-Nov-14 16:45:28

I'm quite anxious and don't like being in the house alone all night. But you do sound unusually anxious about burglars and fires. Does your front door not have a double lock. Lock all windows and ouside doors. Put gas fires off and check stove. Get a burglar alarm. And you will be fine.

2minsofyourtime Tue 04-Nov-14 16:51:06

Don't worry once you've been on your own a few times you will relish control of the tv!

But if it helps: 999 1st then my plan would in a fire to open window put dc's in duvet cover and dangle it out the window as much as I can then drop it, this making the drop less.

AbbieHoffmansAfro Tue 04-Nov-14 16:51:29

Look, in the event of fire blocking the downstairs you either jump out of a window or wait for the fire brigade, after dialling 999. But your best fire plan is prevention: no smoking, install and test your fire alarms, kitchen safety (fire blanket, extinguisher possibly) no candles, switching things off at the plug and just being sensible.

As for burglars, make a noise, get your daughter, ring 999, sit against the bedroom door and wait for help. The chances of getting an intruder who wants to harm you rather than steal and run away is seriously incredibly low. It may be a staple of TV drama but it really isn't at all likely in real life.

Your real problem is worrying about the above two things to the point you are panicking. If you have got a general anxiety problem I think it's worth seeing the GP. Otherwise it is just keep calm and carry on, don't go to bed too late when it's spooky, have the radio on low for company, especially if you wake up in the middle of the night.

TheKnackeredChef Tue 04-Nov-14 16:53:38

I worried about this a lot when XH left and I was on my own with DCs. It can be daunting being the one solely responsible. I found it helped to spend a short while thinking about a fire escape plan. Here are some things I do which help me feel like I'm mitigating as much risk as I can:

I test the smoke alarms regularly.

I keep the keys in the front door lock so we can get out quickly (I know that can be a burglary risk but realistically the worst most burglars are likely to is nick our telly whereas a fire could kill us).

I close all internal doors before bed. Firstly because you'd be amazed how much time this can buy you in the event of a fire. 30 minutes or so, apparently. Also, because if we were broken into it would give me a chance of hearing an intruder.

I keep an old duvet cover in the airing cupboard in the bathroom - the window opens out over the flat roof of our garage so in an emergency we could climb out and I could put the DCs inside and lower them down.

I occasionally do a fire drill with the DCs so they know what to do.

I keep my phone by the side of the bed charged up so I can get help in an emergency.

My DP thinks I'm bonkers, but it helps me relax about it a bit. I'm not anxious at all, I think it's just wise to have a plan in place.

Boglin Tue 04-Nov-14 16:58:07

I like to have A Plan too OP, and it would stress me out more to not have one so I understand where you are coming from (this may mean I also have anxiety issues, it has been suggested to me before!).

My fire plan is to get out of the house either via the stairs and straight out the front door or if that's inaccessible, via the bathroom onto the roof of the single storey extension below and down onto the ground. If I was on my own, I would ring fire brigade, then shut myself and DS in the bathroom with wet towels under the door and the window flung wide open and I would probably shout for help in getting out or wait until the fire brigade came if it was safer to do so.

Burglar/murderer plan is less clear in my mind as I have the same dilemma about it that you do in that someone hearing us move about or DS crying would then be alerted to our presence and come upstairs to get us but reading the replies here suggests that that's a bit irrational and the sounds of us moving around would be enough to scare off an intruder so I think I would set off the house alarm if it wasn't already going off (we have a remote thingy for it) then grab DS and barricade us all into one room (we have locks on all the doors upstairs, call 999 and also shout out of the window.

ScarletFever Tue 04-Nov-14 17:00:09

I used to get up very very quietly when i thought i heard a noise downstairs, then i realised that if i was being burgled... they would sod off if they heard me moving....

Its ok to worry and to make plans for emergencies, thats what most normal people do - however, like others ar saying, you do sound very anxious......

its probably not going to help by saying try not to worry, but thats all we can do here

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