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To 5yo: You are the worst at football in the whole class

(37 Posts)
PeachZucchini Tue 04-Nov-14 11:25:03

AIBU to be furious at a PE teacher for saying this?

The child in question is the youngest in the class, loves football and is enthusiastic and keen and, yes, not that good at it but wants to be.

Came home really upset at this put-down.

I feel really angry because no teacher of any academic subject would ever (well, not these days) say to a child "you are the worst at maths in the whole class" or "you are the worst at reading in the whole class". It is sending an terrible message.

It may be true, but surely any decent teacher should be praising children of all ability levels according to how much effort they are putting in, and only criticizing if a child isn't really trying to improve? Or do we want our children to get the message that there is only any point doing something if you are already good at it?

(MN regular NC as I suspect I'll end up making a formal complaint to the school and don't want this to be linked to my normal MN name)

parakeet Tue 04-Nov-14 11:26:08

Double check with teacher first but if true, then yes complain to head.

MajesticWhine Tue 04-Nov-14 11:26:22

That is absolutely disgraceful. Are you quite sure that is what was said?

lem73 Tue 04-Nov-14 11:30:23

I say double check with another child if possible. It does seem an extraordinary thing to say especially to a five year old. Ffs they barely play anything resembling football at that age. (Not that it's ever ok)

BarbarianMum Tue 04-Nov-14 11:31:30

If it's true ( and I'm only doubting it because it's such a shocking thing to say to a child) then you should definitely complain.

frizzcat Tue 04-Nov-14 11:31:43

I would be definite that the teacher said those words and it wasn't your ds' perception of what he said, or indeed one of his class mates who said it.

If it turns out to be true then by all means get in there all guns blazing, humiliation is not the way to inspire or encourage.

EmptyNestAgain Tue 04-Nov-14 11:33:32

I was thrown out of my art class when I was at school, over forty years ago. The teacher said I was a waste of paper and paint. I was six!
Definitely not bitter.
I would try and confirm what was said, Op, and then have a word.

MmeMorrible Tue 04-Nov-14 11:36:02

Agree with others, you need to check that what your DC heard is what was actually said. If correct, that's not the way a professional teacher should be speaking to a 5 YO. And even if it's not correct, perhaps the teacher needs to reflect on why the DC has taken that message away from what was actually said,

sickntiredtoo Tue 04-Nov-14 11:37:00

I think it is very, very unlikely that the teacher said this.I can only imagine it happening f your DS was misbehaving a lot and the teacher said something like 'You will be the worst footballer in the class if you don't listen/do as your told etc etc' or the teacher has set up some sort of skills competition to see who is the best footballer in the class and your DS came last and has taken this to mean he is the worst.

PeachZucchini Tue 04-Nov-14 11:37:49

Thank you I was beginning to doubt my reasonableness and fearing I was being terribly PFB and all-shall-have-prizes.

I shall do my best to get some kind of verification...

Hakluyt Tue 04-Nov-14 11:42:52

Check your facts. If it is as you think (remembering children can be quite creative/get the wrong end of the stick) then straight to the Head and don't leave until you're satisfied.

Hakluyt Tue 04-Nov-14 11:45:00

If it's a state school there will be a complaints procedure you can follow.

Not sure what the process is if it's a private school- which your mention of a PE teacher suggests it is. Be doubly careful about documenting everything if it is.

StarlingMurmuration Tue 04-Nov-14 11:46:37

If he said that, it's absolutely appalling. What a terrible thing to say to a child! And it's hardly going to make the kid want to play football ever again, is it?

theknackster Tue 04-Nov-14 12:02:49

On a more general point, I've seen kids at DS1's football club make amazing strides from where they were ability-wise at 5 to where they are now at 11 (for example, being unable to kick a moving ball to training with the 'a' team).

Scholes34 Tue 04-Nov-14 12:38:34

I think the approach should be to mention that your child has been upset by a comment made to him by the teacher and to find out exactly what the comment was or was intended to be, rather than wading in at this stage with a complaint based only on what your DS has said.

KoalaDownUnder Tue 04-Nov-14 12:42:30

I hope your son did get it wrong, because that's an appalling thing to say to a 5-year-old!

lem73 Tue 04-Nov-14 12:54:02

Hope your son did get it wrong because experience tells me if you think he's telling the truth, the school will never admit it and will publicly back the teacher. My ds2 has a classmate who moved to our school because his PE teacher called him a 'retard'. He was 9 and not the type to make stuff up but the school backed the teacher.

Aeroflotgirl Tue 04-Nov-14 12:56:06

How disgusting, if your son did get it right, he would not be doing football with that coach again!

Hatespiders Tue 04-Nov-14 13:52:17

Good gracious! I never ever in all my years of teaching used such a nasty condemnation of any pupil of any age. Neither did I ever hear a colleague speak like that. Very cruel.
Humiliating a child is completely counter-productive as any parent or teacher knows. YANBU - I'd complain like anything if I were you, OP.

Charitybelle Tue 04-Nov-14 17:32:02

We had stuff like this all the time at school, especially in PE. Not saying it's right, I think you should make a complaint if this is what was said. But I can't get myself too wound up about it as we had a lot of horrid teachers at school, and I wouldn't be as shocked as other posters to find out it's true. Some of the stuff said to me and my friends was very belittling, and I always assumed it's just the old fashioned way of teaching. Humiliation instead of praise and encouragement?

LadyLuck10 Tue 04-Nov-14 17:34:02

If you heard this from a 5yo I would definitely check your facts. It probably got very twisted and not what was related to you.

Boomtownsurprise Tue 04-Nov-14 17:37:41

Thing is its a very bald statement. Short. Sharp. To the point. Frankly I'm guessing it's real.

I'd mama bear maul the fucker tbh.

Hope it's a misunderstanding. Guessing not.

Hakluyt Tue 04-Nov-14 17:41:45

You know what I've just suddenly thought? I wonder if it was a Year 6 sports leader or something like that? Or if it's a private school an older perfect? Still completely unacceptable, obviously, but it seems more likely........

WhereAmIGoing Tue 04-Nov-14 17:41:59

And Tbh even if it's not exactly what that teacher has said but what she said ended up with the child understanding that, then still not acceptable.
Whatever was should never have left the child thinking something along these lines.

I would go and have a word with the teacher and explain how upset your ds was at whatever comment was made to him.

rollonthesummer Tue 04-Nov-14 17:48:04

IF that's what was said, that is horrid and definitely worth speaking to the school.

When you say PE teacher, who exactly is it? Most children of that age are taught PE by their class teacher. Is it private?

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