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To ask you to be honest about your children and Facebook?

(82 Posts)
ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks Sun 02-Nov-14 22:34:20

I've seen my 11 year old niece on Facebook for about a year now hmm she's never been active really...just liked her Mum's posts etc.

Lately though I've noticed a lot of activity because it seems her friends (all in year 6) are on it and they arrange to meet up and also post loads of silly pics of themselves up there.

Is this usual?

My DD is in year 6 but at a different school...she's so much younger than my niece and her friends. She'd never want to share photos in the same way...too shy I think. She has a small group of friends and they all skype one another. Or text.

Am I being naive in thinking that year 6 is too young for facebook? I've already seen a bit of low level bullying and exclusion on my neices posts. They're so naive they don't even think about who can see what they put!

Are your year 6 DC on FB??

Lonecatwithkitten Sun 02-Nov-14 22:37:01

My year 6 is not on Facebook and has not asked even though she is at a school where media is huge, every hold as a school issued iPad.

generaltilney Sun 02-Nov-14 22:39:40

DS is in year 6. Neither he nor any of his friends that I know of are on FB, and I think I would see the odd like or whatever because I'm FBf with a lot of the other year 6 parents. Neither are any of the year 7s that I know. I don't like the thought of it either, I sometimes do things that embarrass me on FB now and I'm very old.

DS does have a youtube channel blush not in his own name but it's pretty thinly veiled.

TooMuchCantBreathe Sun 02-Nov-14 22:41:18

No, none of mine were/are (youngest is y6) it's just not something I'd be comfortable with. Luckily though it's not come up as the age kids round here seem to start is y7. Still too young imo but at least it means most are 12 rather than 10!

Hassled Sun 02-Nov-14 22:42:35

My youngest signed up with my permission in Year 7 - on the understanding that I could and would snoop as and when. My older kids were Year 8 or 9 I think before I succumbed.

I do know of Year 4 children on FB - I just hope their parents are watching it like a hawk.

Hassled Sun 02-Nov-14 22:43:36

I think Instagram is the thing more than FB in any case these days.

generaltilney Sun 02-Nov-14 22:44:07

Oh God yes I meant to check Instagram

skylark2 Sun 02-Nov-14 22:44:08

My kids weren't on Facebook until they met the site's minimum age requirements. There are things I'm anal about and that's one of them.

TheReluctantCountess Sun 02-Nov-14 22:45:19

I tnk year six is young to start. Most kids start in about year eight. Fb have 13 as a recommended age.

ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks Sun 02-Nov-14 22:45:39

Hassled yes I know DD has mentioned a few kids in her class are on there. But really....DD takes photos of bugs still! I find this so worrying. I don't want my child on social media at all! Not till she's about 17 ideally! I realise that's not going to be manageable really...but gosh... sad

hmc Sun 02-Nov-14 22:46:04

Yes re Instagram - facebook is for the oldies according to Y8 dd

smillassenseofsnow Sun 02-Nov-14 22:46:07

My (much) younger sister was on it from the age of about 12. My DM alerted to me to the fact when she told me that DSis was being bullied on it. I managed to have a bit of a look (and talk to her about it I think, this was a long time ago) and from what I could see, she was being a most irritating, obnoxious little viper herself. No wonder some of her peers were rolling their eyes and lashing out (though they did more than just retaliate, it was all a big mess of pre-teens being vicious to and about each other, clique against clique, etc). Of course, with my DM's help, DSis saw herself only as a victim.

Facebook is certainly not the same experience without the maturity to know how to use it. I personally think it's best for them to just stay away - they didn't seem to actually use it for arranging anything IME. I know you say that the children you know do that to an extent, but I don't think it's the in the same sense as at university for example - where you'd just not get invited to anything if you weren't on it. I'm sure none of them will stay away until age 16, but the later the better. There will be horrible bullying involved when it's children on the internet.

steppemum Sun 02-Nov-14 22:48:13

ds ia year 7 and not on FB. Some of his friends are and some arent'.

When he was year 6, most if his friends were, and then he changed schools, and has stopped asking, I suspect very few of his new friends are. There is a very different intake between the schools.

nohysteriahere Sun 02-Nov-14 22:49:00

Ds1 and 2 both got a facebook account on their 13th birthdays. Dd will be allowed one on hers.

All are subject to being friends with me and providing me with full access when I ask.

I am that parent who complained that yr7 were asked to draw a facebook page for a historical figure.
It seemed like mixed messages to me.

ghostyslovesheep Sun 02-Nov-14 22:50:01

my year 6 and year 7 both have it BUT I have their log in details and I monitor their page daily - I delete stuff and block people who behave badly - and explain why

I'd rather they did it with my knowledge and guidance than set up a page I knew nothing about

my eldest has a phone and lap top so could do it herself anyway - this way I am in control and we can discuss issues as and when they arise

Thebodynowchillingsothere Sun 02-Nov-14 22:50:19

FB now is for the middle aged/older people and younger pre teens/teens.

The teens and 20s go on snap chat and Instagram.

Fb is pretty tame really and fine I think for a year 6 with parental sense.

You can't police your teens internet use. You just can't. You just have to teach them skills and commen sense.

Just like you don't ban them crossing the road but teach them to do it safely.

AsBrightAsAJewel Sun 02-Nov-14 22:50:20

Have you seen this?
Or this?

ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks Sun 02-Nov-14 22:57:40

Body and I hate the disposable nature of Snapchat. Why do they need to be incognito? Why do they want their messages to go? Instagram...fair enough...but snapchat??

ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks Sun 02-Nov-14 22:59:54

I keep trying to educate DD I mean, about social media from a creative perspective. I've shown her Pinterest and allowed her an account on that. She likes looking for pics etc.

I've shown her how businesses use social media and how EVERYTHING people write on their social media it could affect their future careers etc. I hope some of it is going in!

Thebodynowchillingsothere Sun 02-Nov-14 23:04:17

I suppose it's because teenagers and young people ( god sound old) want to do things that their parents arnt doing.

It's the way it's always been really just different technology.

ColdTeaAgain Sun 02-Nov-14 23:05:51

Snapchat worries me, just sounds so open to abuse and to be used in the wrong way.

Lisawantsacat Sun 02-Nov-14 23:12:50

Was recently warned that when kids lie about their date of birth to get a FB account they'll then be targeted by dating sites when their FB details appear to indicate they've turned 18, and no further age checks will happen because they've entered into an agreement with FB in which they've 'promised' that's their DoB. So your future 16yr old will be invited to view profiles on Plenty of Fish. Ho hum!

Mintyy Sun 02-Nov-14 23:17:12

Dd is 13 and not on FB and neither are most of her closest friends. I just don't think its a big deal for the generation below us any more.

WorraLiberty Sun 02-Nov-14 23:17:32

I opened FB accounts for my kids when they were leaving year 6, as it's a great way to keep in touch with friends who were going to other senior schools.

I have their log in details, they are on my friend list and they are very clear about what is/isn't acceptable.

There have been no problems so far (elder one is 15yrs now).

AuditAngel Sun 02-Nov-14 23:30:53

DS is in year 6. Last year on Boxing Day his cousins set him up with a Facebook account (he has a very unusual name). I think they told me, but I stumbled across it by accident. He doesn't remember that he has it, I know his password and am a "friend" so can keep an eye.

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