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to be sick of people telling me how early they wake up when i say dd is an early riser?

(103 Posts)
YorkshireTeaGold Sun 02-Nov-14 14:38:20

Dd2 (12mths) often wakes at 5. It kills me and I hate it. Am ill all the time, struggling at work, have no social life as go straight to bed and suffer for weeks if I don't. She's an overtired mess so not even happy and I've tried everything to get her to go longer.

Mention why I'm tired to people without young kids (retirees are the worst) and they bang on about how theyre always awake at 5. Even if this is true (fairly sure it's not) theyre not looking after a sobbing baby at this point or spending all day with a baby and a toddler. Sooo aibu to find this really unsympathetic?

BonaDea Sun 02-Nov-14 14:41:44

Yanbu.

There is a whole world of difference between choosing to wake early or waking early naturally at that sort of time vs. being wrenched out of sleep by a screaming baby who immediately needs you to be 'on it'.

Can't your DH help?

warmgingerbread Sun 02-Nov-14 14:44:27

Yanbu!

My dad used to go ON about hoe getting up early was great and 'encouraging' me to do the same. I am up at 7 which is early enough. 5 is the middle of the night!

wobblyweebles Sun 02-Nov-14 14:45:40

We are up at 6.30 for school and I'm shattered. 5am must be exhausting especially with an overtired small to look after.

YorkshireTeaGold Sun 02-Nov-14 14:46:44

Thanks bin! He's great and helps lots but even if he takes her down I can still hear the moaning and don't really go back to sleep. It's hard to be on it all day after 6 hours sleep when you've solidly been pg/bfing for 4 years! My mil (who does nothing that's not leisure related, ever) keeps talking about this. I want to kill her.

iwouldgoouttonight Sun 02-Nov-14 14:47:05

I really sympathise, mine are now thankfully older and past that stage, but I remember early mornings being a killer. I was quite lucky as it wasn't always 5am every day and i found it very hard so I can't imagine how you're feeling.

I'm sure you've tried everything to get her to sleep for longer so I can't really offer advice, but just to say it will pass. Someone else may come along with a witty retort you can use when other people say they've woken at 5am once!

Chippednailvarnish Sun 02-Nov-14 14:47:39

If you don't like their responses don't bring it up in the first place!
Being tired isn't a competition, I was always worried my DS would wake my neighbour up but it turned it she had crippling insomnia. I'd rather have a toddler!

YorkshireTeaGold Sun 02-Nov-14 14:47:39

bon of course!

LauraA1982 Sun 02-Nov-14 14:48:25

In that case I'd be arranging for your MIL to have her overnight twice a week so she can deal with it, and you can have a lie in.

DownByTheRiverside Sun 02-Nov-14 14:48:42

YANBU. I'm an early riser, usually pottering around by 6am. It's lovely to have the peace and quiet and solitude of an early morning.
Completely different to having to share that time with anyone, let alone a baby. Even a happy one.
I used to be the opposite when a youngster in my 20s and 30s, slept late when I could and was still awake at 2am.
They are being insensitive and really should be able to tell the difference.

YorkshireTeaGold Sun 02-Nov-14 14:51:37

chipped I only bring it up if people ask, plus I've been ill which is exacerbated by lack of sleep. It's what I'm struggling with atm and I try to be sympathetic with other peoples struggles. Your're right, it's not a competition.

MagratsHair Sun 02-Nov-14 14:52:20

It depends why they do it. My DS2 always woke at 5, even in the depths of winter when its dark & its soul destroying, you poor thing! It affects every aspect of your day & has a massive impact on how you feel.

Some people said similar things to me to foster a feeling of solidarity & to let me know that they had been there too & were being supportive.

Other people seemed to not know why it was a problem & acted as though 5am was totally normal & that I was making a fuss about nothing. If its your choice to get up then that's a huge difference to having to get up imo

brew OP, it does get better, my DS2 will now stay in bed til 6 & he's 5. This too will pass smile smile

MrsTerrorPratchett Sun 02-Nov-14 14:53:14

DD was a chronically early riser. 4.30am was absolutely normal. I brought it up with people because I was a blithering idiot and was trying to explain that. It is soul destroying.

Also, explaining why DD had her first nap at 8.30am was a little difficult without saying what time she thought was 'morning'.

YorkshireTeaGold Sun 02-Nov-14 14:59:04

Thanks for the solidarity! Early rising hideous and I'm hoping it's a (very) brief phase. Dd1 slept lots better when she was properly walking.

magrats I agree... If people say it to sympathise cos they had earlier risers that's lovely, but when they don't have youngsters or even work I think I'll explode.

BoysiesBack Sun 02-Nov-14 15:04:13

YANBU.

My DS wakes at 5am too and has done for 12 years, he has very severe ASD and I can't break his routine no matter what I try. It's absolutely exhausting and those who go on about how great it is being an early riser get on my tits.

misselphaba Sun 02-Nov-14 15:04:55

It's called a conversation! You're never going to come away feeling good after having conversations about sleep -or lack of it- with childless friends. My brother reckons he only needs five hours sleep a night so what's my problem with a toddler who wakes up at five am. Forgetting he then makes up for it by sleeping all weekend! I'm mentally storing away this tripe for when he has children.

I sympathise. I have an early waker and I don't think it's going to change anytime soon. Thank god for cbeebies and granny murray.

MrsPiggie Sun 02-Nov-14 15:07:25

I remember waking up at 5 with both DCs. I also remember waking up at 5:30 for a 2 hour commute. Both experiences were equally shattering. If anything, waking up with the kids was a bit easier, as we could cuddle up on the sofa for a while. So some people may genuinely have it hard even without young children. But people who choose to get up at 5 and bang on about how amazing it is get on my nerves. You can invite your Mil over to take care of your early riser if it's so brilliant to wake up at 5.

TheRealAmandaClarke Sun 02-Nov-14 15:22:32

YANBU
Its utterly nerve -shredding. And completely different from being awake.
Of course you should be able to raise it as an issue. The fact that you wish or need to discuss this crippling situation dies not give ppl the right to minimise your discomfort by pointing out they ar awake early.
Fuck off to them.
brew

2minsofyourtime Sun 02-Nov-14 15:26:56

You have my sympathy ds's are both earlies but ds 2 surpasses himself with the clock change.

I'm like some type of living zombie.

The only thing I can suggest is putting a dvd and sit them in bed with you for a bit. You get poked and bumped about but at least your eyes are closed

uggmum Sun 02-Nov-14 15:32:39

My ds was the same. Awoke at 5 am every morning. From being a baby to at least 7/8.
It didn't matter if I put him to bed later. He would still wake up at 5 but then he would be overtired all day.
He was always really clingy too. I could never put him down.

As he got older he could get up by himself, turn the tv on and get his own breakfast.

Now he's 11 and still wakes up early but it's now 6 and he is completely self sufficient.

It's a killer. I used to nap during the day.

BlameItOnTheBogey Sun 02-Nov-14 15:34:15

OP have you tried wake-to-sleep to stop your dc waking up that early? It worked a treat for us. And I agree that 5am starts with a small child are The Worst.

DixieNormas Sun 02-Nov-14 15:38:08

All mine have done it at some point, ds4 is doing it now but that's because I got fed up of his bedtime being at 8.30 9 so have moved it to 7-7.30 it is shit

OraProNobis Sun 02-Nov-14 15:50:34

YANBU - DS was also an early riser - 5am was a lie in for him! Back then the only thing on the telly was The Morning Line on Channel 4 with bloody John McCririck or some awful sports compilation programme on 3. The hours I wasted staring blankly into space at 4am - I could sure use them now! That baby is 25 now and still, even after a night on the lash, is up at 7!

manchestermummy Sun 02-Nov-14 15:55:17

YANBU at all! Mine are currently up at 6.45 which is a luxurious lie-in. We are grateful for every minute past 6. Dd1 went through a phase of 4.30. I remember going for brunch at 11.30 and boggling that we had been up for seven hours by that point.

My SIL's 13 mo rises at 8 and she has the audacity to moan. We went on holiday with her before she had a child and she had a huge go at us because the dc were up at 7 on a Bank Holiday. Yeah SIL, the 4 yo and the 1 yo can interpret a fecking calendar.

Sometimes I feel like a zombie at work, just because it's been years of pre dawn waking now. They do sleep well, true, but all those shortened nights' sleeps have caught up on me. Woe betide I mention I'm tired at work because x and y were up at 5.30 to walk the dogs don't you know. Bugger off!

I have full sympathy for parents of early rises and bad sleepers everywhere. My SIL is the only person I have really, really wanted to have a bad sleeper. Because Karma's no fun when one can be an actual very tired bitch wink.

hiccupgirl Sun 02-Nov-14 16:39:13

My DS is 4 and before the clock change he'd got to sleeping to 6.30am. Now we're stuck at 5.30 at the latest again. He has only once in his whole life slept past 7 - later bedtimes, wake to sleep and starting school have all made no difference.

So YANBU. I wake early myself but there is a massive difference between waking in my own time around 6am and getting up for a quiet cup of tea and being woken by a 4 yr old climbing over me and then wriggling around in bed talking at me.

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