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to be disappointed in some mumsnetters

(83 Posts)
Jemima1988 Sun 02-Nov-14 08:49:46

My mum started me on mums net last year when I really needed advice and help regarding a few different issues.
I wasn't keen on the idea originally but I got a lot of helpful responses to my posts and mumsnet is now a daily Pitstop for me.
recently I have seen people being horrible, bitchy and downright mean regarding peoples problems or their English skills.
when did we stop being helpful and supportive?

HelloItsMeFell Sun 02-Nov-14 08:51:52

It has always been thus. Certainly in the six years I've been here.

raltheraffe Sun 02-Nov-14 08:53:37

If you want no bitchy comments, ((((((((((())))))))))))) and hold handing I would recommend Netmums rather than Mumsnet.

Iggi999 Sun 02-Nov-14 08:54:19

When did negative generalisations of all mumsnetters become a good idea OP?

QuintsTombWithAWiew Sun 02-Nov-14 08:54:41

It has always been like this. Bitchy, judgemental but also kind and supportive. You need to filter!

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 02-Nov-14 08:54:47

AIBU is not the place for hand holding, in the main.

BitOutOfPractice Sun 02-Nov-14 08:56:15

There's only one thing worse than angry mummy. And that's disappointed mummy

insancerre Sun 02-Nov-14 08:56:20

Oh god
Not this thread

CalamitouslyWrong Sun 02-Nov-14 08:57:18

Have you tried doing a search for similar 'MN is going to the dogs; you're all meanies and pedants to boot' posts? Because you'll see that for almost as long as there has been MN, there have been such posts.

PinkSquash Sun 02-Nov-14 08:58:01

There's always been some sniping and general nastiness, the same as real life.

AIBU isnt the nicest, chat has some lovely people as do all the topics, you just have to ignore the negative opinions.

GahLinDah Sun 02-Nov-14 08:59:04

I don't know, behind the tweeness Netmums are very passive aggressive.

I do think the AIBU mentality is seeping into other boards tbh. (This has been mentioned in Site Stuff rather a lot). Some posters seem to relish sticking the knife in, without really considering the op.
E.g Poster in obvious emotional despair writes a whole long post, asking for help and advice or handholding.
First poster on thread "oh op haven't you heard of paragraphs, I can't read that, my eyes are bleeding" etc etc.

Most people are alright though.

DishwasherDogs Sun 02-Nov-14 08:59:12

I disagree, I actually think there is less correction of poor spellings and grammar than there was a few years ago.
Back in the day it was commonplace to point out these mistakes.
There were fewer "should of"s and "alot"s than there are now.

But if you don't like it here, no-one is forcing you to log in.

cailindana Sun 02-Nov-14 09:00:48

MNers are people. Some people aren't very nice.

NoelleHawthorne Sun 02-Nov-14 09:01:29

GUTTED you're dusapoonted. So so sad.

raltheraffe Sun 02-Nov-14 09:03:49

I love AIBU even though I have started some threads where people have tried to be bitchy. I like it because I am very thick skinned and find it funny.

There have been 2 threads on here in the last month or so which have bothered me. Both were started by an OP with ASD. They did not state in first post they had ASD, but as they articulated themselves a bit oddly and had some peculiar ideas, posters ganged up and attacked. In both cases the OP was left very distressed.

In one thread when the OP explained she had ASD and severe depression, one poster replied "do not pull the Autism card on us".

Jemima1988 Sun 02-Nov-14 09:06:03

I've seen people openly admit on a thread that they are in tears and bitches continue to be cruel.
no I didn't look to see if there was similar threads I was just giving my opinion on the threads I have seen recently

IsabellaofFrance Sun 02-Nov-14 09:06:47

Get thee to Netmums.

They don't swear, but then they are moderated like they are in preschool.

Aeroflotgirl Sun 02-Nov-14 09:07:08

Most of us lovely, really there are some lovely people out here. I have witnessed some really fantastic support when a Mumsnetter needed it. Yes you do get some people, Noelle is there any need for that!

Aeroflotgirl Sun 02-Nov-14 09:09:33

Oh yes I remember that poster, it was about napoy changing on a toilet floor which op found hard because of the smell. She got jumped upon because of that, but if you read her nickname you might have guessed she has Autism.

CalamitouslyWrong Sun 02-Nov-14 09:18:36

The woman complaining about the smell was unreasonable though, autism or not. You can't be reasonable complaining about a waft of shit in a public toilet whatever your reasons for disliking it.

Some people might have been unnecessarily nasty after she said she had autism, but it doesn't mean that everyone should have said 'there, there. Yes, you're totally right. No one should do anything that might stink in a public toilet', which is what some people on MN seem to think is the entire definition of support.

AuntieStella Sun 02-Nov-14 09:20:34

There's another thread in Active this morning about grammar etc.

It is a hardy perennial theme.

Picking on people is a twattish action, and those who do it are not picking on grammar because of anything to do with standards of written expression, it's because they're posting like a twat.

If it's not grammar, it'll be something else.

If you see what you think is a personal attack or bullying, report it.

HermioneWeasley Sun 02-Nov-14 09:24:11

I've been on here for 9 years and haven't really noticed a difference. Maybe more trolling recently, but it could just be I'm noticing it because it's that time of year.

If you don't like it then nobody is forcing you (or anyone else) to be here, to read or to post.

treaclesoda Sun 02-Nov-14 09:25:40

I'm afraid I'm always very hmm when I read a post saying 'you're all so horrible to me, I'm actually crying now' because surely if a poster genuinely felt they were being treated cruelly they would just hide the thread and go and do something else? When I read that statement I automatically assume the poster to be stirring and looking for a reaction.

I don't mean that I'm suspicious of any poster who says they are upset and in tears, I only mean that when someone claims to have been reduced to tears because someone has asked them to eg explain something in their post that doesn't make sense, or when they've been told they're being very unreasonable.

treaclesoda Sun 02-Nov-14 09:27:22

but yes, on general people on here can be quite supportive, but there are people who enjoy giving others a good verbal kicking. The key to getting the most from the site is to enjoy the chat with the first group and filter out the second group.

CromerSutra Sun 02-Nov-14 09:27:46

Yes, there are some people who do this. It can be nasty and unnecessary. There are so many more kind, helpful people though.

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