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No alcohol at Hubby's 40th

(142 Posts)
CookieDoughKid Sat 01-Nov-14 21:21:49

Hubby is an alcoholic. We are in a really good dry period and has been dry for three years.

It's his big 4-0 next year. Would I be unreasonable to ask guests to not bring alcohol and it to be a teetotal party??

Hubby cannot be around alcohol at all. He doesn't want to be near it. But we do want a good party.

DrCoconut Sat 01-Nov-14 21:23:24

Not unreasonable at all. Your party your rules.

londonrach Sat 01-Nov-14 21:23:30

His friends will understand why no alcohol. If they dont they not friends. Hope you have a lovely dry birthday x

championnibbler Sat 01-Nov-14 21:23:50

YANBU. Its yours and his party. Your rules. Its possible to have a great party without booze involved.

DistractedAgain Sat 01-Nov-14 21:27:54

I wish more people would do this to make folk see you don't need alcoholic drinks to have a good time with friends and family. Go for it smile

Sabrinnnnnnnna Sat 01-Nov-14 21:30:50

No, YANBU. How about a tea party? Tea and cakes. I went to a 40th like that (and she wasn't an alcoholic!) and it was lovely.

AdoraBell Sat 01-Nov-14 21:33:08

YA absolutely NBU

Hope he has a very happy birthday and stays on track with his sobriety. Well done him.

Muchtoomuchtodo Sat 01-Nov-14 21:34:02

His party his choice.

Hope you all have a great time.

Sirzy Sat 01-Nov-14 21:37:55

anyone who complains isn't a friend and threfore shouldn't be at the party anyway.

Have a lovely time

UmmAbdillah Sat 01-Nov-14 21:39:09


howtodrainyourflagon Sat 01-Nov-14 21:39:37

I went to a fantastic afternoon tea party without any booze. Good luck with the party - I'm sure it'll be great.

alltoomuchrightnow Sat 01-Nov-14 21:40:48

of course not U. I say this as had years with a dry alcoholic (my ex), sadly it only lasted six years of dry but we didnt go to pubs etc and he didnt drink champagne at our engagement party.
if no guests get it, i would read them the riot act. there but for the grace of God and all that...

WorraLiberty Sat 01-Nov-14 21:41:40

Only you know whether that will go down well or not OP, because you'll know the guests.

I'd be fine with it but I know some people who would rather give it a miss.

Aduaz Sat 01-Nov-14 21:41:44

I think this is reasonable. True friends will understand. If he was the sort that could handle 1 or 2 drinks then that would be fine, he could have a few cans and then switch to coke but as you say he can't be around it at all I don't think you're unreasonable.

JustSpeakSense Sat 01-Nov-14 21:44:22

YANBU at all!

fairylightsintheloft Sat 01-Nov-14 21:51:14

I have an alcoholic friend who has been dry for some years. We do something on her anniversary of quitting every year and it is always dry. When we cook for her, NO alcohol is used in the cooking and so on. On one occasion, one of us brought a new partner to the meal; he knew the deal, but sat OPPOSITE her necking beer all night. We were unimpressed to say the least, though she was actually ok and can be around it now no problem. OP, I would be amazed if any of your DH's friends objected - just make it clear on the invite.

OwlinaTree Sat 01-Nov-14 21:58:24

It's fine, put it on the invitation. As a suggestion, maybe have an activity as the focus of the party, for eg have it at a skittle alley or something so it's not so noticeable there's no drinking?

SeptemberComesTooSoon Sat 01-Nov-14 22:01:54

I went to an alcohol free wedding last month. No idea if there was an AA type reason for a specific person behind it or not - not my place to ask! It was good to have a heads up beforehand. Our invitation said something along the lines of "No bar but tea, coffee and soft drinks will be freely available" and as I wanted to see my friends get married more than have a drink, I didn't mind smile

BikeRunSki Sat 01-Nov-14 22:08:31

DM's been a dry alcoholic nearly all my life. some of the best partiesbi've been to have been dry! Kensington AA used to have some amazing New Year's parties.

YANBU, but put a forewarning on the invitations, which also requests guests not to bring any alcohol.

NoelleHawthorne Sat 01-Nov-14 22:11:03

I agree ybu

but the idea ' your party your rules' is bollocks

I would make it clear to guests htis is the case and be ready for cancellations to be brutally honest

Mintyy Sat 01-Nov-14 22:17:58

Of course yanbu! Any invitee who doesn't want to/can't go along with this is almost certainly an alcoholic themselves. Hope you have a great party.

WestmorlandSausage Sat 01-Nov-14 22:18:35

I'd be tempted to try and do something that doesn't naturally suggest a drinking occasion anyway, like paintballing, bowling, lazer quest, camping etc or walking and a country house if you want something a bit more sophisticated?

That way people won't feel 'hard done by' (not that they should do, or that it is your problems, its just some people do struggle to socialise without alcohol or 'something' to do and it may mean they won't come)

pointythings Sat 01-Nov-14 22:18:54

Not at all U. With the money you save by not having alcohol, you can serve the most amazing mocktails.

Wolfiefan Sat 01-Nov-14 22:20:48

Have a theme?
Lots of non alcoholic cocktails?

Why on earth anyone would object to a party without booze is beyond me.
Happy 40 OP's DH and congratulations on the sobriety.

grocklebox Sat 01-Nov-14 22:38:37

anyone who doesn't want to go is almost certainly an alcoholic themselves? hmm give it a rest!

Let's be realistic for a moment. If you are talking about a traditional evening birthday party, people will expect there to be alcohol. Of course you don't have to have it. But its going to be a very different party, you need to expect that.

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