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F*%€ing Facebook, wwyd

(37 Posts)
NinjaPanda34 Sat 01-Nov-14 19:16:33

"Natalie is fighting against an aggressive metastatic breast cancer. Click like to wish her good luck guys"
One of my friends has "liked" this and it shows up on my newsfeed. F F S ! Like a fucking click is going to make a fucking difference. She "likes" posts like this frequently. I've recently lost my Mum, my Aunt and my Gran to metastatic breast cancer. She knows this. Anyone else think my "friend" is being completely thoughtless, or should I just hide all notifications from her? Would you broach it with her?

grocklebox Sat 01-Nov-14 19:19:38

No, I wouldn't. What she chooses to like on her facebook is really not about you. If you don't like to see it, hide or delete or block.

MiddletonPink Sat 01-Nov-14 19:23:27

I'm sorry to hear about your losses. Do you think your friend thinks she's doing a "good" thing by liking this post? Like she's supporting you in some way?

Madamecastafiore Sat 01-Nov-14 19:25:04

This is about Natalie and not you in this instance.

Mmolly2013 Sat 01-Nov-14 19:28:14

When I was pregnant a friend kept liking posts of still births which I could see, and commenting on how sad it was. I had to pull her to the side and say yes maybe I am being a bit sensitive but could you stop doing this for a bit because it upsets me.

Your friend obviously knows what you have went through and if you like a public comment then all your friends can see it and she will know this. I would suggest saying to her that it upsets you and would she mind not doing it as much as she has been. If she was a good friend she will of course do this

BigRedBall Sat 01-Nov-14 19:29:50

Hide her from your newsfeed?

Tvseemstobemyhobby Sat 01-Nov-14 19:30:05

I don't understand why this would be a bad thing to you. Sorry my brain may have switched off.
She's liking someone who is fighting against and hopefully winning the battle against bastard cancer.

redexpat Sat 01-Nov-14 19:32:27

Just hide her from your newsfeed. She's not doing it to upset you.

fabricfreeshiner Sat 01-Nov-14 19:33:01

I agree with madame to be honest. To give an example, I belong to an unusual ethnic group to get five of us in a room is amazing! So when I see on facebook that over 1000 have liked a post it brings me to tears.

So yes, it's about her. Maybe she is sitting somewhere in agony, crying to see that so many people care about her.

Your friend is showing support for someone, I understand your pain, but people do like and then donate and the knock on is that gives money for research.

Sorry about your family though xx I can imagine it would be painful seeing reminders all the time.

MiddletonPink Sat 01-Nov-14 19:33:48

Come on now the OP is grieving. We are all sensitive and see things different in the depth of grief.

NinjaPanda34 Sat 01-Nov-14 19:33:50

No it's from one of these "sharing is caring" pages. I just don't like the whole "liking" something as horrific as cancer - especially when the picture shows someone who let'sbefrank does not look like she's fighting a metastatic cancer. Metastatic means all-over. All encompassing. If you've got metastatic cancer, you do not look that well. It just annoys me. Liking something like this just seems so pointless and useless. Sorry, it just rattles my cage.

raltheraffe Sat 01-Nov-14 19:39:02

I am sorry for your recent bereavements, this must be a difficult time.

Lost my mum to metastatic breast cancer last year.

I think you need to understand that when people use FB they are normally not giving it much thought or concentration (my brain is always 50% switched off when I go on there).

I think she clicked Like without even knowing it would show in your news feed. She probably was not thinking when she clicked it.

I think she would be mortified if she realised she caused you distress.

You have a few choices:
1. PM her and tell her how this has caused distress
2. Hide her posts from your news feed
3. Unfriend
4. This is what I recommend, just move on from this knowing that 1. she has not deliberately tried to upset you 2. she cares about Natalie, this poor lady who is probably going to end up dead.

Try and make the cancer your enemy and not this friend.

ArkhamOffett Sat 01-Nov-14 19:40:56

I would just Unfollow her on FB so her Likes din;t show up on my newsfeed.

She's not in the wrong to click Like for this kind of post, but neither are you for thinking it's hurtful to you.

I wouldn't mention it to her at all.

raltheraffe Sat 01-Nov-14 19:47:01

Ninja, I do not think anyone who clicks Like is stating they "Like cancer". Nobody likes cancer, it is one of the shittiest things that can happen to someone. I should imagine they are showing support to someone who is bravely battling an illness, a battle that they will inevitably lose.

fluffyraggies Sat 01-Nov-14 19:56:52

It seems to me that unless you enjoy being privy to a constant stream of peoples thoughts, status', 'likes' and 'dislikes' then it's best to stay off FB.

It's why im not on FB.

flowers OP

SookyBunny Sun 02-Nov-14 00:27:11

"Metastatic means all-over. All encompassing. If you've got metastatic cancer, you do not look that well. It just annoys me. Liking something like this just seems so pointless and useless."

I have metastatic bowel cancer - "metastatic" means that the cancer has spread from the original tumour to another part of the body, in my case from bowel to lung. It is not all over or all encompassing. I have had 12 cycles of chemo, I often feel like shit but I look well, nobody who didn't know I have cancer would be able to tell from my appearance. Hopefully, my treatment is working and I will return to full health. To be honest, to see the words quoted above were painful to me as a someone receiving cancer treatment - as insensitive as what appeared on your FB.

Nevertheless, I am very sorry to hear of your losses, you must be heartbroken. It's a bastard of a disease, that's for sure.

thursday Sun 02-Nov-14 00:38:02

I don't think asking people to change their FB activity is the answer. It's not compulsory to follow people. I hide people who fill my newsfeed with things I don't want to see (if it would be awkward to delete). I can appreciate why it annoys you, you're suffering the real grief of losing close loved ones, and seeing the casual clicking away to show insincere care for complete stranger can be jarring. Natalie probably likes the likes, your friend isn't doing anything bad. Hide her x

WhatWouldJoanDo Sun 02-Nov-14 06:28:59

I think if you click on the shared post you can choose whether you hide her posts or hide the posts from Sharing is Caring. I have done this with a cousin who is always liking and sharing Britain First propaganda. I see her personal updates but not her crazy racism crazy racism

WhatWouldJoanDo Sun 02-Nov-14 06:29:44

There were really no other words I could use to replace those crossed out.

gamerchick Sun 02-Nov-14 06:41:27

You can untick the third party stuff on each of your friends, I can't remember off the top of my head how to do it though. You won't see what they like or post on afterwards.

Aussiemum78 Sun 02-Nov-14 06:51:04

I get it. When dp was going through chemo, there was a chain thing doing the rounds "like if you hate cancer" blah blah.

I was livid that so many people liked it and but didn't bother to call us and see how we were. It's self serving, "look at me" crap. Look at me, I care, I hate cancer....well where have you been while your friend has been fighting it?

wheresthelight Sun 02-Nov-14 07:23:38

I am sorry for your losses but I afraid you are being quite unreasonable. she is not likingnthe fact the poor woman has cancer she is liking to show the poor woman support.

I think your grief is clouding your judgement

jellybelly701 Sun 02-Nov-14 07:32:20

YANBU OP. These 'like to show support' photo's piss me off.

More often than not, the person who originally shared the photo doesn't actually give a shit about cancer/animal abuse/poverty etc. The sole purpose is to gain likes and shares. Not to show any kind of support. I've seen some that claim Facebook has agreed to donate $1 for every like $10 for every share. It's utter shit and over 500k people had actually fell for it by distributing it further. I've no doubt that every person who clicked like on the photo did so with perfectly good intentions. which actually makes the whole thing worse. it's disgusting to use peoples emotions like that, and for 'likes' of all things!

I saw one recently telling the story of a young woman who was battling cancer, 'Click like to show support' complete with photo. I skimmed through some of the comments and found that the person in the photo did not have cancer. I know this because she commented herself. One of her photos from Facebook had been used without permission. Someone did a bit of research about the story and found that the story was true, 6 years ago. This person had just copy and pasted part of an old article. Again all for 'likes' I just don't get it.

BelleateSebastian Sun 02-Nov-14 07:55:42

Sooky I hope you continue to get better smile wine brew thanks thanks

ismellonehugerat Sun 02-Nov-14 08:12:54

Ah yes, Facebook... hmm

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