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to be annoyed by friend claiming as lone parent?

(114 Posts)
Tamzin125 Sat 01-Nov-14 16:36:18

My friend and her partner have been together for about 7-8 years now, albeit on and off. She lives in a really nice area and has two kids. She claims all the benefits she possibly can on the premise that she's a "lone parent". But she's still with her boyfriend who's the father of both children. Okay he doesn't live with her but he still sees them almost every day, he has a good job, good enough to afford a posh expensive car and they eat out several times a week and go on holiday in the UK 2-3 times a year where she's told me she likes to save up enough to spend £100 per day.

DP and I live in a not so nice area and are currently struggling to pay the bills despite working every hour God sends. I'd love to live where she does but we simply can't afford it. We're lucky if we take DSS on one Sun holiday a year let alone three which are booked direct through the campsite. I don't mean to sound bitter but aibu to be pissed off she's claiming as a lone parent even though she's still with her bf?

Tamzin125 Sat 01-Nov-14 16:38:11

Just to add I'm not in any way benefit bashing. I actually think lone parents don't get paid enough in certain circumstances. but it pisses me off that people who aren't lone parents get away with claiming even though they're still with the other parent.

usualsuspect333 Sat 01-Nov-14 16:40:16

If he doesn't live with her and their relationship is on and off,I don't blame her for claiming as a single parent.

MonanaGellar Sat 01-Nov-14 16:41:06

Lone parents are allowed a relationship.

usualsuspect333 Sat 01-Nov-14 16:41:11

Someone will always have more than you. That's life.

Get over it.

Iggi999 Sat 01-Nov-14 16:43:06

It does sound like a bit of a dodge doesn't it, if she is in an ongoing relationship with the father of her children.

ilovechristmas1 Sat 01-Nov-14 16:44:56

report but i doubt it will end in a prosecution

unless they are being watched and he has post going there eg car tax,sky bill etc doubtfull they would get caught

the DWP will write to your friend normally the compliance team and will arrange a date and time to visit,very easy to move any of his stuff out etc before they arrive

unless she gets pulled in to her local jobcentre plus for an interview under caution,under them circumstances they should have evidence/ proof

your call

Groovee Sat 01-Nov-14 16:45:12

If he was living with her then yes, she would be claiming falsely. But not living with her she is effectively a single parent.

BMW6 Sat 01-Nov-14 16:47:41

So he's not paying maintenence for his children?? Why not? angry

LemonadeRayGun Sat 01-Nov-14 16:48:35

We all have choices. Your DP could move out and you would be entitled to the benefits your friend does.

avocadotoast Sat 01-Nov-14 16:48:56

She's not doing anything wrong though is she? Her partner doesn't live there and, presumably, has his own house to run.

Tamzin125 Sat 01-Nov-14 16:52:00

He doesn't have his own house to run. He lives with his parents. She's told me the only reason he doesn't live with her is because she'd lose her benefits.

I'm not saying lone parents don't deserve a relationship - of course they do! But if a father is providing for his children, is in a relationship with the mother and the only thing he's not doing is living with her, I'm failing to see how she's a lone parent?? They're on-off relationship is more in the past, they've been together at least 3 years now without breaking up once during that time.

MonanaGellar Sat 01-Nov-14 16:53:14

If it bothers you that much, do something about it and stop calling her your friend.

I'll never understand threads like this.

Tamzin125 Sat 01-Nov-14 16:53:39

lemonade I wouldn't be entitled to any benefits even if DP moved out as I'm classed as earning too much. Since we only have DSS, we don't get (and still wouldn't get if he left) child tax credits or child benefit or anything and don't get working tax credits due to age and not having children (as such).

ilovechristmas1 Sat 01-Nov-14 16:53:39

are they actually a couple or keep good relations because of the children

me and my ex used to eat out together with the kids,days out together etc but we were NOT any more than that

that is the crux here for me on this thread

Tamzin125 Sat 01-Nov-14 16:54:23

ilove they are actually a couple. She's told me numerous times they're in a relationship, but she won't live with him as she won't be able to get benefits and his money like now.

Rebecca2014 Sat 01-Nov-14 16:55:12

She isn't doing anything illegal.

SirChenjin Sat 01-Nov-14 16:56:40

They have obviously decided that it makes financial sense for them to live like this - pair of chancers. I'm pretty sure that this is not what Bevan had in mind when he set up the welfare state, but unfortunately this benefit system has become open to a huge amount of abuse sad

Whether or not it's worth reporting, and whether or not you want to continue being friends with someone like this is for you to decide.

Whiskwarrior Sat 01-Nov-14 16:56:41

And what a wonderful 'friend' you are OP!

Coming on here and sharing everything she's confided in you and slating her life.

Glad you're not my friend - who needs enemies, eh?

ilovechristmas1 Sat 01-Nov-14 16:56:44

just read update

report then,they both want it both ways,what man would not want to support his kids and live with them

this if true is a clear case of fraud,not to mention selfish

AlbaGuBrath Sat 01-Nov-14 16:57:11

There is no such thing as claiming as a lone parent OP. She is claiming based on her circumstances, plain and simple. She is doing nothing wrong quite frankly.

usualsuspect333 Sat 01-Nov-14 16:57:45

Report her for what?

Squeegle Sat 01-Nov-14 16:57:52

To be honest, if that's true (and it's a big if), that would irritate me too.
But what I would do is just stop being friends. Your friends have to share your values. Your values and hers sound way out of kilter.

MoreCrackThanHarlem Sat 01-Nov-14 16:58:54

YABU.
If he doesn't live there, she is classed as a SP for benefits purposes.

OnlyTheWelshCanCwtch Sat 01-Nov-14 16:59:54

https://www.gov.uk/report-benefit-fraud

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