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To think it is rude to not turn up to kids party

(25 Posts)
dinodino27 Sat 01-Nov-14 16:23:04


I am perplexed by the situation with my neighbour.

It was my daughter's birthday today - she accepted an invitation for her 2 children and then did not turn up. As we were getting ready to go the party we saw her children in the garden and one of the child said to my child then she was not coming to the party now. No text or anything from mum to let me know this.

Other information is that I have always had a cordial relationship with neighbours. Last week she text about 10.30pm to say her broadband was not working so could she have the code for mine. At the time I was at the hospital with my dad (who is v sick). I explained I did not know the password but would and was dealing with ill parent and was going to be there all night but I would look for password next day. I got NO reply - no hope your dad is ok or anything. So given I thought it was a bit cheeky asking and she had not even responded to my reply I did not look for the password.

I have not seen her since this but did not think we had fallen out over the this. It seems she has fallen out with me. I am I unreasonable to think even if she has fallen out with me over the lack of password she is rude to let me know her kids were no longer coming to the party?

What should I say next time I see her?

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye Sat 01-Nov-14 16:35:57


Ignore her. Life's too short.

NetHuns Sat 01-Nov-14 16:39:27

She sounds like an Arse...just rise above it and don't say anything

CaptainAnkles Sat 01-Nov-14 16:41:07

How sad for her kids that she should let them miss out because she's in a temper about a broadband password though. She doesn't sound like a very nice person.

Nanny0gg Sat 01-Nov-14 16:49:38

That you don't give out the password for the broadband you pay for to anyone and that she's a petty cow?

And ignore her from now on.

cozietoesie Sat 01-Nov-14 16:50:26

I'd also say nothing and ignore her. But have a look over the recent past - are you so sure that you have genuinely cordial relations?

dinodino27 Sat 01-Nov-14 16:53:40

BTW as my husband says the reason for them not showing up may well be nothing to do with broadband password.

But seems strange she did not reply to a text saying my dad was very ill. I mean she only had to look out the window to see my car was not there. I even called my husband to look for the password but he had a stomach bug and had just gone to bed.

I just cant get over the rudeness of it all. I know in life there is more to worry about but I dont want fall out and bad feeling with neighbours.

cozietoesie Sat 01-Nov-14 16:55:24

PS - I have unlimited broadband so it doesn't matter to me if someone else uses it unless it impinges on my own usage in any way - but I have had to operate with broadband that was on a blocked list due to someone else's issues and that was a real PITA.

No-one else gets my BB password these days although I can see that it might become a new battleground between neighbours. People nowadays can go into major meltdowns if they don't have instant access.

cozietoesie Sat 01-Nov-14 16:57:29

It was indeed rude - and such a shame for all the children. They shouldn't be brought into adult problems if it's avoidable in my view.

TheHouseonHauntedHill Sat 01-Nov-14 16:58:46

I would be upset by no reply to being in hospital too.

I agree to cool things

TheHouseonHauntedHill Sat 01-Nov-14 16:59:26

rise above it.

dinodino27 Sat 01-Nov-14 16:59:38

Yes genuinely cordial. I cant think of anything else at all that would cause offence. I find her pleasant and nice and I feel we are good neighbours and try to help her out when we can. She is long suffering in terms of an on/off relationship with a not so nice partner.

dinodino27 Sat 01-Nov-14 17:03:19

mM husband thinks i am being silly to be bothered but i will obviously see her monday at school and need to react in someway - it is not my nature to ignore people but I have never felt so perplexed as the whole thing makes no sense.

cozietoesie Sat 01-Nov-14 17:03:21

Then it's likely not you as such - if she's already under stress, she's probably lashed out on a 'last straw' basis.

Doesn't mean to say that I think you should do anything to help though. Say nothing and ignore the situation would remain my approach.

dinodino27 Sat 01-Nov-14 17:07:45

I would also like to point out that is i was at home and awake (i am usually in bed at 10) at when she text I would have looked and given her the password. It is just I was up to my eyes in other stuff at the time and the lack of response just to say something like no problem, hope your dad is ok pissed me off. BUT I had no idea this had caused a fallout.

cozietoesie Sat 01-Nov-14 17:10:45

I don't think it was necessarily you or anything you did.

How is your Dad doing?

Only1scoop Sat 01-Nov-14 17:14:21

I think it was rude not to ask how your dad was. If she has taken offence at the password thing I would seriously avoid her on a social level. Easy to say hello etc and be polite but I would leave it at that.

dinodino27 Sat 01-Nov-14 17:38:22

Thanks everyone - will be cool!
And thanks cozi - my dad is still bad unfortunately and not likely to improve. :-(

waithorse Sat 01-Nov-14 17:44:52

Never give anyone your password. She could be downloading anything. hmm Hope your dad is ok. thanks

waithorse Sat 01-Nov-14 17:45:38

Sorry, just noticed the bit about your dad not improving. Sorry. thanks

Aeroflotgirl Sat 01-Nov-14 17:55:27

Yanbu she sounds as rude as fuck, I woukd just ignore her she sounds selfish and self centered.

Aeroflotgirl Sat 01-Nov-14 17:56:44

Yes say hello and be polite, and that's it. She should gave asked about your dad and apologise for bothering you

fourwoodenchairs Sat 01-Nov-14 18:02:44

As hard as it is, let the friendship fizzle out and try not to over think it. Don't give your password out either x

fourwoodenchairs Sat 01-Nov-14 18:03:13

I am very sorry about your Dad too, that must be awful x

CombineBananaFister Sat 01-Nov-14 20:28:46

I wouldn't worry tbh, you have other things to think about. Personally think it's rude to ask for a password if you're not close anyway
If she's pissed off with that that while you're worrying about your ill dad then she's a selfish, unfeeling shit.
If it's something else then she's a bad mannered shit not to notify you of cancelling the invite. Be civil but don't engage - you've done nowt wrong, she sounds a user.
hope your dad improves

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