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To ask if anyone else is spending Christmas alone?

(80 Posts)
warmgingerbread Sat 01-Nov-14 15:10:30

I sometimes feel like I'm the only one in the world who spends it alone ... Anyone else?

Agggghast Sat 01-Nov-14 15:19:05

I will this year for the first time ever. My eldest DD is working and the younger two have been invited by my sister to go skiing in Colerado. I am letting them think I will be with other relatives on the day but am actually looking forward to a day of peace, since DH died in 2011 it has been a struggle maintaining a 'front'. I think there is a myth of the perfect day but for many it is the hardest day of the year.

silveroldie2 Sat 01-Nov-14 15:20:22

Me. After many years of spending every Christmas pleasing other people, I can now please myself by spending it alone. It's just another day to me, yes I cook myself a lovely meal, buy a nice bottle of wine, but you don't have to buy into the whole christmas thing, ignore all the hype and chose it as a day to treat yourself to something nice.

SophiaPetrillo Sat 01-Nov-14 15:21:47

Not me personally but know of plenty of people who are. So many folks find Christmas just an ordeal to get through. It's really for families, when your DCs are young and it's all magical for them, it can be terrific but if you're not part of that it can be excruciating.

goodasitgets Sat 01-Nov-14 15:24:56

Me. I haven't celebrated it last year and won't be doing again this year. I'm at work Christmas Day night anyway

fatlazymummy Sat 01-Nov-14 15:32:23

I would really like to be. I probably will spend it with my 2 youngest kids and their dad (my ex) but secretly I would love it if he took them to his family for the day (after they've opened their presents) but he'll probably have dinner at mine.
I hate cooking and eating roast dinner, the whole Christmas thing is so boring to me. Ideally I'd like to have a cheese sandwich then go for a lovely long walk by myself.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll Sat 01-Nov-14 15:37:36

One of my workmates is and she's dreading it the poor love. If I had room I'd have her round to mine but there just isn't the space.

CatKisser Sat 01-Nov-14 15:41:16

I'll cook myself something then get out for a walk followed by crap telly and a brandy!

warmgingerbread Sat 01-Nov-14 15:42:17

Thank you! I'm not bothered by it; I like Christmas but definitely see it as something for kids. But there seems to be so much pressure to not treat it as a normal day which to me, it is, just a holiday!

CaulkheadUpNorth Sat 01-Nov-14 15:48:18

Me! It's my third or forth Christmas alone. Doesn't bother me hugely but know I need to get out during the day somewhen or I go slightly crazy.

londonrach Sat 01-Nov-14 15:52:06

My uncle used to hate xmas locking himself in his room and having beans on toast for xmas meal. I know several people who do have xmas on their own. One lady told its the best day of the year. She chooses her fav food, locks the door xmas eve and stays in doing what she wants till boxing day.

Summerisle1 Sat 01-Nov-14 16:24:27

My dm always spent Christmas Day alone by choice. She had umpteen invitations but would always politely decline them by saying "I'm so sorry but I've already accepted an invitation for Christmas Day".

Her idea of heaven was to cook a small, free range chicken, pour herself a glass of champagne and just relax in front of the fire and the television with the dogs snoozing at her feet.

Hatespiders Sat 01-Nov-14 17:32:44

I have done many years ago, for about 5 years running. It wasn't as bad as people thought. I had loads of invitations to friends' houses, but sitting with other folks' families just seemed to rub it in somehow that I was alone iyswim.
I actually quite enjoyed it. I went to Church and sang all the carols. Then had my own choice of grub (small chicken, individual Christmas pud) and watched any TV I wanted. I had a log fire in those days, very cosy just me and my 5 cats. If it was sunny, off for a walk at the coast. I also got out loads of library books beforehand (love reading)
If someone truly dreads Christmas alone, it might be an idea to go and help at one of the large Dinner events for the homeless/elderly/lonely. They take place in nearly every big town nowadays, and they always welcome a bit of help.There's usually entertainment laid on and it can be fun.
If one feels it's torture, well. it's only one day then it's over. But if one has recently been bereaved, I do sympathise, as Christmas must be so hard and poignant.

AnotherFurry Sat 01-Nov-14 17:36:49

Not now I am with my DH but for years I did despite family and friend invites. I just loved locking the door having a bottle of bubbly, watching TV and films and having whatever I fancied for food ah bliss grin. Now I just do the same but with my DH.

ilovesooty Sat 01-Nov-14 17:39:24

I am. I'm going to Amsterdam.

warmgingerbread Sat 01-Nov-14 17:58:17

It's quite hard as while I have invitations to spend Christmas with various people I'd rather not, as someone has already said, it rubs it in a wee bit!

Ilove, sounds cool smile

Margaritte Sat 01-Nov-14 18:10:52

I'm not sure if this count confused I will have my dc with me, though DH may have to work & I'm dreading it.

<realises I probably don't count>

eatyourveg Sat 01-Nov-14 18:25:52

MrsItsNoworNotatAll would your friend consider volunteering for crisis at Christmas? (think they may called just crisis now) I know a couple of people who have done it rather than be on their own and have loved it.

juneybean Sat 01-Nov-14 18:29:10

I'm tempted to stay at home with my cats...

skolastica Sat 01-Nov-14 18:34:58

I did last year - not sure about this year DS will be around and will probably insist that we go to my parents. Given the choice, I wouldn't - a poor relationship with my parents, would almost rather be on my own - but I think DS will win. I've started to hate Christmas. Did the pile of books, wine and fireside thing last year - definitely OK.

Hatespiders Sat 01-Nov-14 18:57:26

My first Christmas after my divorce, I foolishly accepted a kind invitation to a friend's house. She was surrounded by all her family; grown-up sons and their girlfriends and a massive Alsation dog. Her ghastly dh picked his nose a lot, the dog farted every five minutes, unbelievable smell. The youngsters gobbled up their dinner (not very nice tinned/packet stuff) and skedaddled off to the city. I felt obliged to help my friend with the mountain of washing-up (no dishwasher) then had to watch the most terrible crap on their TV. I was so glad to get home, and that was the last time I ever accepted any invitations.
The Crisis at Christmas events are so well-supported that I believe there's a waiting list for helpers. The Lions clubs also do dinners for the elderly housebound, and provide transport too for the diners.
My dh and I (married for years and years) spend Christmas very quietly, as we both prefer peace and quiet!

IndigoApple Sat 01-Nov-14 19:05:54

A friend of mine usually spends Christmas alone. She says she doesn't mind being alone half as much as she minds being pitied by well meaning colleagues etc.

PiperIsOrangePumpkins Sat 01-Nov-14 20:59:54

I'm working.

SmellsLikeHorses Sat 01-Nov-14 23:44:44

First christmas since split with STBXH. I will wake up with my children and have the morning which I am looking forward to greatly but at noon they go to their Dad untill the Sunday evening so no christmas dinner for me (unless I cook the saddest little single person one ever!) on the day and just an afternoon and evening on my own (well, with the cat) with all my children's toys around me to remind me, however, I get to do Father Christmas and go to mass with them, I can burn myself out getting up early with them and take a nap in the afternoon if I want, no cooking on the day, I can watch what ever I want on TV, I don't have to deal with the outlaws, the kids have asked (begged!) me to make a christmas dinner when they get back from STBXH as they tell me that my cooking is the best grin .
I am luckier then many, many other people and my blessing are many. I don't actually mind too much, we will have a better christmas then we would have if I had brushed all the problems under the mat again and limped on with the relationship. After this year the plan if to do alternate years, this is my choice as it will allow me to take the children away to spend Christmas with my family should I so choose. So I am likely to be on my own next year and I surprise myself with being kind of okay with that as I know my children will have a lovely time whichever parent they are with and I am an adult with enough years behind me and enough understanding of how I tick to know that Christmas can be anything I want it to be and on the whole celebrated on any date.

Smellslikehorses, my little sister lives in oz. She tried to sort it so she would be here for Christmas but couldn't quite manage it. She is really upset (I'm sure spending time with her friends in a similar predicament on a golden beach will help the pain). Anyhoo she's asked if we can have a Christmas dinner when she comes back in February. I don't see why not. Hopefully I may be able to pick up some post chrimbo bargains such as crackers, puds etc. I'm quite looking forward to it. grin

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