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Haven't heard from friend in ages now there's a bloke on the scene

(9 Posts)
WendyBloomers Fri 31-Oct-14 19:46:58

Prepared to hear it like it is folks, don't hold back.

For the last year or so I've spent at least one of my weekend days with my closest friend Sam. She would invite herself up after work of an evening and this suited me great as we have such a laugh together and she gets on really well with all the family, so even if there was a family do or whatever she would come too.

Now, she's very recently met a guy on the internet and..surprise surprise I've not seen/heard head nor tail of her! AIBU to feel quite annoyed by this? I'm glad she's possibly found someone as I know she wasn't happy being single but I can't help feeling a bit used. Obviously I expect her to be spending time with him and I know she has a very busy work schedule but I don't think a quick text now and then would go amiss considering only 6 weeks ago this would be like a second home to her.

What do you think?

LilyPotter Fri 31-Oct-14 20:02:59

YANBU to feel the way you do, but I'd cut her a bit of slack and understand that she's in the full flow of lust lurve. It'll all calm down in due course.

seasavage Fri 31-Oct-14 20:03:01

I don't think she's intended to 'use' you in this situation. But in the flurry of romance she's been neglectful. That is pretty bad form. I'd give her a nudge that it'd be nice to see her. A few jokey 'still alive?!' messages perhaps

ilovechristmas1 Fri 31-Oct-14 20:05:34


this has happened to me

my friend done it once then it all went tits up and she could not see enough of me,then met another and suprise suprise dropped again

i did tell her after the first time that if she done it again that would be it and after her repeating the same again i dont bother with her

when people get together things change i except that but i wont be used as she did,life to short for users

MrsItsNoworNotatAll Fri 31-Oct-14 20:10:35

Has she done this before? I had a friend who once she got herself a new bloke then I would get a call when she felt like ringing me. And he would be in the background when she rang too confused

If we ever did go out he tagged along and I felt like a gooseberry.

Of course once it ended, it usually did as she stiffled them, she was quite happy with my company. She was quite a drain and although we didn't have a falling out I gradually phased her out.

cheesecakemom Fri 31-Oct-14 20:36:42

Oh it happens - yanbu
My friend went to the extent of not talking to a group of us. She will now text once every year or something!

WendyBloomers Fri 31-Oct-14 20:49:05

Ahh glad to hear it's not just me! She's not really done this before so will maybe give her a little nudge and try and get back on track as I would hate for our friendship to end. She's only met this guy in RL twice mind as far as I'm aware so god only knows what she'll be like if/when they're a couple! Seems worse too as they're not actually meeting all the time they're just texting/talking all evening so I'm sure she could squeeze me in somewhere.

Darkandstormynight Fri 31-Oct-14 20:52:49

Wow, my dh and I were Just talking about this, because it happened to us, but he was the friend and I was the new girlfriend.

Sorry, yes, YABU. Dh and I were in love, and spending all our time together from the get go. At least you didn't do what his friend did, he got all wonky on dh and returned all his stuff that he had borrowed, fishing pole, tools, etc.

I don't mean this towards you, but dh and I (not dh then) kind of laughed and shrugged it off. Romeo and Juliet we were like then, tight as glue, and neither one of us saw it as using the friend...we were just really in love and adding someone else into our little world didn't even occur to us. Give her time. She'll get more down to earth and then you can hang out again. Don't take it personally, it's not.

Brassrubbing Fri 31-Oct-14 21:04:31

Do you mean you spent all or most of at least one one weekend day with your friend, as well as her coming around after work and coming to family occasions as a general rule? That does sound like a huge amount of contact to me - it may be that she doesn't realise that there are less time-consuming kinds of friendship, involving occasional phonecalls and coffees...?

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