Namechanged so it's not connected to my usual name. You may recognise me from another thread that I posted. I just don't want my usual name on this.
So my DH died a couple of weeks ago. We are all struggling a bit with it. So it is half term this week. I took the DCs to Liverpool on Monday to add to their Christmas lists. They had never been so it was a new experience and they loved it.
I decided to meet up with a friend today to get some Christmas shopping and have a day out we decided to go to Liverpool again because it was easier and there is more to do.
The DCs (12,6,4) went to PILs they usually go for a day during the holidays anyway. SIL lives in a flat 15 minutes away from PILs but she is at theirs most of the time. She and DH weren't close partly due to an age gap but mostly because she is very over dramatic and likes things her way. We only see her if she is at PILs at the same time.
So got to 5 pm just getting in the car to go home and MIL calls me. DD2 (4) is hysterical and can I hurry back. The drive home takes an hour.
Got there and DD2 was still upset and crying. She wouldn't calm down and the other two were also upset but wouldn't say why. MIL said that she wasn't sure what happened as they won't say while SIL was there and SIL maintained that she doesn't know what happens either.
So I took them all home.
When we got home DD2 told me she was upset because daddy isn't coming back.
So after talking about with her and the other two DCs separately.
Turns out PILs were talk to neighbours and left SIL with the DCs making pizzas. DD2 wanted a smiley face out of tomato sauce and asked SIL to do it for her. SIL said fine but then just made a blob in the middle and told her to deal with it.
DD2 said that DH used to do smiley faces for her and it was easy for adults because they could squeeze the bottle. SIL well DH wasn't coming back so they could never have sauce faces again.
DD2 and DS (6) started to cry and DD1 (12) said that was really uncalled for and told the younger two that dad was watching all of us.
Then MIL came back in and asked what was happening and SIL said that DD1 had upset them all. DD1 said that she hadn't and SIL maintained that she had .
DD1 got upset and left the room. MIL went after her and FIL went to get tissues and while they were gone DS said to SIL that he would learn how to make smiley faces to make DD2 happy and the DH could see all the smilies faces from the sky. SIL said DH would be too busy having fun to care about smiley faces. So then the DCs were really upset and MIL called me.
It has taken AGES to settle them and reassure them and I am so angry and upset. I haven't called anyone yet because I don't want to fall out tonight and I don't really have the energy for a fight.
They are good kids and their stories match up. Also DD1 is very factual and DS can't keep secrets so I am sure they are telling the truth.
Am I being unreasonable to think this is completely unacceptable? ILs have lost DH too and it is hard but is it excusable? I need you all to calm me down. I have no idea what to do daily anyway so this just feels to hard to puzzle out.
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SIL upset DCs (DH death related) calm me down NOW
141 replies
lickingstars · 29/10/2014 22:11
OP posts:
Altinkum ·
29/10/2014 22:19
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