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Aunty responsibilities ...she never picks up DCs

(226 Posts)
beegee Wed 29-Oct-14 21:57:30

We have a lovely Aunty to our 2 DCs (my SIL). She loves them to stay over, although it happens quite rarely. (My eldest is 11yo) - she lives about 45 mins away. I've just noticed that there has never been an occasion she suggests she comes and picks them up. We always take the children there, then drive home, then the next day we drive down there to pick them up, then home again. Of course this is fine, it is just this weekend we are really stretched with time and asked her if she could possibly come on the train and then do the return journey with them (they would love the journey on the train with their Aunty, too) Then we would come to pick them up the next day as usual. We thought she would be fine with this lift share. However, she gave us a flat 'no, sorry', in a text and left it as that.
She has no children of her own, so she's only got herself to consider.
We are just a bit surprised by her rejection of our idea without any explanation it's a flat 'no'. It makes me feel slightly alone tbh.
Perhaps I'm overreacting - very possibly - but I think I'd have no problem doing this if it were my nephew and niece.
Let me know if I'm being unreasonable for feeling miffed. Thanks!

BuilderMammy Wed 29-Oct-14 21:58:38

YABU. She is under no obligation to transport your children.

Winterbells Wed 29-Oct-14 21:59:55

Yeah, YABU. She doesn't have to explain why she doesn't want to do two train journeys.

FelicityGubbins Wed 29-Oct-14 21:59:58

Aunties don't have any obligation or responsibilities towards their siblings children, anything they do is voluntary imo

Madlizzy Wed 29-Oct-14 22:00:44

she's doing you a favour by having them.

ilovesooty Wed 29-Oct-14 22:01:29

Even if she doesn't have children of her own she may well have other commitments that preclude taking time out for a double train journey.

Pooka Wed 29-Oct-14 22:02:09

YABU. It sounds a bit petulant to be quibbling over the dropping off/picking up arrangements when she's having your dcs to stay. Just be grateful that she offers and has a good relationship with them.

SqueezyCheeseWeasel Wed 29-Oct-14 22:02:17

As they say, "no" is a complete sentence.

louisejxxx Wed 29-Oct-14 22:02:54

YABU. Can she afford the journey? She isn't under any obligation I'm afraid, aunty or no aunty.

Catsmamma Wed 29-Oct-14 22:03:02

god, lazy cow!! ...she has the children, and not often enough for your liking, and then won't spend all day on the train to drop them at yours and then get herself home.

i think yabquiteU!

Mintyy Wed 29-Oct-14 22:03:20

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SauvignonBlanche Wed 29-Oct-14 22:03:24


furcoatbigknickers Wed 29-Oct-14 22:03:27

Shes the aunt not a parent

WalkingInMemphis Wed 29-Oct-14 22:03:53

It depends on why she's having them. If it's as a favour/childcare to you, YABU.

If not yanbu.

2shoeprintsintheblood Wed 29-Oct-14 22:03:59


Thewrongmans Wed 29-Oct-14 22:04:35


TsukuruTazaki Wed 29-Oct-14 22:04:39

Yabvvvvvvvvvu for the phrase "she has no children so only has herself to consider"

I'm sure she has an empty life with nothing to do but run around after your kids hmm

Get over yourself

MonanaGellar Wed 29-Oct-14 22:05:09

How very dare she?!


waithorse Wed 29-Oct-14 22:05:24

Are you joking ? YABVU.

SaucyMare Wed 29-Oct-14 22:05:39

My MILs the same distance and she never picks up.

You are quite right it is irritating and some times inconvenient, and it all depends how the conversation went

Aunty " please may i have your kids for the night" or
You "could you have the kids for the night so we can..."

In our case it is always the second, so we niggle after dropping them off (never when the kids can hear) knowing we are being totally unreasonable.

So nothing is ever said to grandma.

PIVOT Wed 29-Oct-14 22:05:43

Yabu or this is a reverse

TheLyingOldBitchAndHerWardrobe Wed 29-Oct-14 22:06:45


Is this a reversey percey?

Thewrongmans Wed 29-Oct-14 22:06:51

See what I did there? Gave you all the information you need about how unreasonable you are in one simple word! She doesn't owe you anything, it is bloody nice of her to have your kids in the first place and give you some time to yourself, the least you can do is drop them off and pick them up.

level3at6months Wed 29-Oct-14 22:07:08

Sheesh. Aunty responsibilities? Did she beg you to have children to give her something to fill her lonely hours?


browneyedgirl86 Wed 29-Oct-14 22:07:17

Does your SIL drive?

Are trains frequent? I can see both sides. I have to pick up my nieces and nephews if I take them out and return them. It's down to me to fund their train fares as well as mine which are expensive so I simply cannot afford it all the time.

Yanbu if it's a one off and are pushed for time. It would be nice if she offered but she must have her own reasons why she is saying no?

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