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To do something a bit evil to my stupid stupid DH...

(877 Posts)
NameChangeAnon Wed 29-Oct-14 16:37:42

Having just found flirting emails with a woman in which morning sex etc is discussed. He's doing it from his phone NOW. The laptop I'm using was going to be his but is now mine. It has his outlook loaded though and the messages pop up in a corner.

So this popped up a minute ago:

From DH

Fun sounds good......
Looking forward to giving you a hug...
And you kissing me back.....

The conversation previously started with a selfy of a woman wearing a quite nice going out dress and talk of the time in the morning the message was sent.

DH replied

You will have to think of some methods of waking me up early too then ....;) x

The woman replied

Oh I have my ways �� don't you just love morning sex !! Xx

DH replied

You will just have to remind me.....
I can't remember the last time I had morning sexsad

The woman replied

This could possibly turn out to be a lot of fun xx

before DH sent the message that popped up

I don't think he's cheated on me. I think he's a prat. I'm sitting here eating a biscuit that DD2 (4) brought for me and drinking tea planning my next move.

Obviously I'm going to shout at him AT LENGTH at some point.

So do I do any of the following - I am a bitchy cow brazen enough to do this.

a) reply to the message chain with. Errr. Hi <potential OW> I'm NCA and my DH is a prat who forgets I have his laptop with his email loaded.

b) Send a friend request to her on FB. After all we have the same taste in men and friendships are based on less.

c) Reply to the text he's just sent me thanking him for taking time out of his day to converse with me rather than just <potential OW>

d) anything else you can recommend bearing in mind all I can find is this convo.

BTW I know that our current lack of intimacy is an issue with him. I am not all that interested in having sex and this has been the case for a few years. We have young DDS and no time to ourselves plus he works away on a regular basis (really works away rather than anything else. He would be able to sneak the odd night away if he wanted but I have his rota and his departure and arrivals home are in keeping with his hours).

So WIBU to reply to them both?

WrappedInABlankie Wed 29-Oct-14 16:41:59

A

cherrybombxo Wed 29-Oct-14 16:42:04

I was just going to suggest popping up in the conversation like, "hi guys, what are we chatting about?" grin

What an absolute arse, he's really playing with fire there. Has he done this sort of stuff before?

Fudgeface123 Wed 29-Oct-14 16:42:49

The only thing I'd be doing is packing his bags and telling him to fuck off to the far side of fuck and when he gets there, fuck off some more

mrssnodge Wed 29-Oct-14 16:43:20

Definately A- then close the laptop and throw it at him!!!

NeedsAsockamnesty Wed 29-Oct-14 16:43:33

I couldn't stop myself joining in with the conversation

honeycrest Wed 29-Oct-14 16:43:50

Fun sounds good......
Looking forward to giving you a hug...
And you kissing me back.....

This sounds like more than flirting. He has cheated with this woman or plans to.

ScarletFever Wed 29-Oct-14 16:43:53

OMG! i'm just commenting so i can follow and see what happens......

although.. reading what you put, i personally think that there has been some physical contact between them, maybe not a full on over night, but some.

What are you going to do if he says, yes i've been seeing her for a while (and secretly wanted you to see the messages as i dont have to tell you now)

Mouthfulofquiz Wed 29-Oct-14 16:44:09

I second the suggestion above!! That would be so hilarious.
And then a good bollocking should suffice.

RachaelAgnes Wed 29-Oct-14 16:44:26

I'd do 'a' it appeals to my sense of humour (?). I think this makes me slightly strange, but I would just have to!

Seriouslyffs Wed 29-Oct-14 16:44:33

I'd reply with, 'reply to the message chain with. Errr. Hi <potential OW> I'm NCA and my DH is a prat who forgets I have his laptop with his email loaded.' grin

What's going on with the lack of intimacy? Do you mean no sex for a few years or perfunctory? Have some fun blowing his cover for the emails, but you need to sort this out. Don't hang around being disrespected.

squoosh Wed 29-Oct-14 16:44:35

Forget trying to catch her out, she's irrelevant really. Talk to your husband.

TeaForTara Wed 29-Oct-14 16:44:40

Wow. I have no idea how you are being so calm about this. Given that you are, I quite like the FB friend request idea.

ScarletFever Wed 29-Oct-14 16:45:19

does he do overtime?
nights away... she could be going with him, nothing to stop her (possibly)

Cantbelievethisishappening Wed 29-Oct-14 16:45:28

I like option A
You sound incredibly calm about this discovery..... are you ok? flowers

NameChangeAnon Wed 29-Oct-14 16:45:58

Who knows?

Prior to meeting me he's had... a varied sexual history (military... let's just leave it there)

But he's generally a faithful and devoted family member. Let's say I'm not dropping dead of shock though.

WerewolfBarMitzvah Wed 29-Oct-14 16:46:26

Agree with cherrybomb. Pop up in their convo.
If you want to be really mean, say 'Hi it's me. Mother of your children. (insert cute photo) Remember?'
I kid. Don't do that.
Sorry he's a prat. What are you going to say to him when he gets home?

TeaForTara Wed 29-Oct-14 16:46:31

and not letting on that you know about the messages.

TheJiminyConjecture Wed 29-Oct-14 16:46:58

I couldn't resist joining in either

Coconutty Wed 29-Oct-14 16:47:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mmolly2013 Wed 29-Oct-14 16:48:28

plan a then give him a good kicking.. or say to him tomorrow fancy some morning sex?? thats what you like isnt ut then kick him

TSSpectreDNCOntheParanormal Wed 29-Oct-14 16:48:33

Option A. Also stating that the last time you had morning sex was when the last fucker remembered to clean his teeth and wash his knob. So, roughly 15 years ago.

Then throw the lap top at his head.

Frusso Wed 29-Oct-14 16:48:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Charitybelle Wed 29-Oct-14 16:48:45

Definitely A, but add in something along the lines of: I ised to like morning sex too, until I realised that my DH is a pathetic excuse for a man with a small dick. Good luck OW, if you want my leftovers you can have them....

ScarletFever Wed 29-Oct-14 16:51:15

clean the bog with his toothbrush

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