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AIBU?

to scream in frustration. dd1, illness+ school absence

45 replies

WellThatsLife · 19/10/2014 18:55

Dd has an iep due aspergers. One of her aims for this year is attendence of 90%.
Her attendence last year was low for 3 main reasons:
Her asthma got really bad resulting in a five day hospital stay, ne umerous chest infections and exacerbations and a severe bout of flu which nearly hospitalised her again.
She has repeated dental problems and infections due to an accident when she was 8, she has been referred to the hospital dentist for specialist work.
She had a lot of appointments with hospital consultant and camh.

Don't konw what I could have done although thankfully her asthma does seemto be better controlled.
Anyway this year so far
most of one morning for hospital appointment (bus times+appointment never seem to coincide)
Started with a cold one Sun, got sent home late mon morn (didn't think her adthma wad that bad but school thought it was!) but by wedsnes really struggling so gp thurs morn antibiotics, steroids and 2 daysoff .
Last sunday norovirus so 3 days off again seemed to be fine, was in thurs+fri then last night diarrhoea started last night, still on going.
what am I supposed to do, we're not going to make 90% at this rate and I'm wworried we'll get referred to the ewo. I'm going to speak to gpin the morning and see what they say

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WorraLiberty · 19/10/2014 18:58

Being referred to the EWO isn't always a bad thing.

In your case, you're mostly able to prove the absences are/were genuine, so don't worry about it.

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3littlefrogs · 19/10/2014 18:59

If you do get referred to the EWO you just produce all the necessary evidence of appointments and illness.

They just need to make sure there are genuine reasons for absence.

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thornrose · 19/10/2014 19:04

That shouldn't be a target on her IEP. She has no real control over her absence it would be different if she was playing truant or refusing school!

As others have said, don't worry about the EWO. Most schools wouldn't refer in your dd's case as you have medical evidence.

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Fabulous46 · 19/10/2014 19:07

Parents are normally given the opportunity to explain absences before being referred to the EWO. Well, they are in my workplace. The 90% is a target to aim for, there can be numerous valid reasons why a child could fall under the original target set. It's not normally set in stone and can often be lowered to be more achievable.

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WellThatsLife · 19/10/2014 19:08

I've been keeping a record in my diary of everything and I'm going to make sure I keep records of sppointments, letters and prescriptions but for things like the norovirus I don't have any proof (although we have had an alert from the school about it) and now I'm going to have to keep her off again tomorrow because of the diarrhoea

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lisucbgiberiocnha · 19/10/2014 19:13

if shes ill shes ill. theres nothing you can do about it unless you want to be one of these irresponsible parents that sends their kid to school ill

the other thing you could do is talk to the ESW directly and tell them you are worried about attendance but DD has been very ill. 90 is lower then average but not rock bottom. Ive worked with kids who have had 40% attendance

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Goldmandra · 19/10/2014 19:16

This is a totally inappropriate IEPS target and it's there to benefit the school, not your DS.

Unless there is something about your DSs behaviour that leads to low attendance, you should ask them to write a more appropriate IEP.

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Goldmandra · 19/10/2014 19:16

Sorry. Your DD, not you DS Blush

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Buttercup27 · 19/10/2014 19:25

I EPSON should have SMART targets specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time bound targets. I really don't think attendance is achievable or realistic as she has no control.

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sr123 · 19/10/2014 19:32

In this situation attendance should not be a target on an iep. The targets should be agreed with parents (not just given by schools) and I would ask for it to be removed as it is not appropriate. I hope your daughter feels better soon.

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Buttercup27 · 19/10/2014 19:36

Oops sorry for typo stupid auto correct meant to say iep!

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WellThatsLife · 19/10/2014 19:44

I just feel under so much pressure to send her in and that the school is doubting me when I phone in. I want to start working more hours as well but it's rwally difficult, as she's twelve at a pinch I could leave her as long as I check in but if her asthma's bad I can't as she can go down hill very quickly

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ghostyslovesheep · 19/10/2014 19:47

try not to worry x

DD1 has similar absences due to CAMH's, teeth and a medical issue - the school are happy as long as she is in registration - so I tend to send her in then pick her up once she's got her mark

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Igotafreegoattoo · 19/10/2014 19:52

DD had absences last year for a bad broken arm (operation), tonsillitis, DV and a chest infection. Attendance at 94%.

The school referred it to "attendance solutions". They were a bunch of fucking idiots and suggested that if DD were ill in future a medical note would be needed for each absence as "some" parents weren't honest.

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Igotafreegoattoo · 19/10/2014 19:53

Sorry I meant to say that after that I refuse to cooperate with them at all. Kids get sick, end of. Please try not to worry about it.

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Fabulous46 · 19/10/2014 20:00

Would it be an option for you to email the school and let them know you are concerned that your DD may not manage the 90% attendance? This way the school know that you're concerned. You could also outline in the email the reasons for her attendance so they are aware of the reasons.

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auntpetunia · 19/10/2014 20:03

I would speak to the EWO directly. They are there to help you. This sort of thing should not be on an IEP, keep letters etc for appointments and make sure you send letters into school for every time she's off, if they send her home make sure you say that in the notes when she goes back.

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WellThatsLife · 19/10/2014 20:03

I get the impression that thay think she is putting some of it on (she can at times be a drama queen) and I'm dreading ringing in the morning. I know she's not puuting this on as a couple of times she's not made it to the toilet poor thing

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Eva50 · 19/10/2014 20:14

E-mail the school in the morning and tell them that she has had bad diarrhoea all day yesterday, not making it to the toilet on two occasions, but that you would like to send her in as you are worried about her absence record. Can they confirm, in writing, whether she should attend or should you observe the 48 hour exclusion normal with Norovirus. There is no way (I hope) that they will want her in school and you will have written documentation to keep for the future.

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TouchOfNatural · 19/10/2014 20:24

Your child has a dangerous, chronic condition. The last thing you need to be worrying about is school being upset because she's absent. Keep all documents from docs/hospital etc. Your daughter's health and well being comes before a schools attendance record.

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BlackeyedSusan · 19/10/2014 20:51

I dare you to take in the evidence. Grin

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ItIsntJustAPhase · 19/10/2014 20:57

It makes me SO ANGRY Angry Angry Angry Angry that you are under this pressure.

I had a letter home about my daughter's attendance because it fell below 85%...all due to illness. I WANT my child at school. I am ill myself and the last thing I want is to have them home. It is THEIR RULESabout contagion that meant she had to have so much time off. I told the deputy I was not pleased and he was apologetic and made clear they are mandatory letters.

Institutions are there to serve us not vice versa.

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CombineBananaFister · 19/10/2014 20:58

What an absolutely ridiculous target. I hate attendance targets with a passion and rewards based on attendance Angry
If parents cant be arsed to send them - give the parent shit and there is usually form for it.
If you have an asthmatic child with difficulties - leave well alone. Hope it all works out okay for you. Big difference between fecklessness and bad situation. Need to stop with the one fits all type rules and let schools go back to having some common sense.

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WellThatsLife · 19/10/2014 21:00

Blackeyed it's temptingGrin

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zipzap · 19/10/2014 21:42

I would ask them to explain exactly how they want you to stop your dd from getting norovirus, how to make sure it disappears more quickly than the standard day or two or three - and that's before the 48hr 'ok but bugs still present' safety zone, how she can prevent her asthma attacks, how she can get necessary hospital appointments not in school time and so on.

Because if they know how to achieve all this for somebody who is suffering miserably from being ill so much, which they must do if they have made a target of reducing her days off ill, then they they need to enlighten you and her doctors, who I'm sure would love to know just what to do Hmm

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