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I've been wendied.

(31 Posts)
Paraibalove Fri 26-Sep-14 23:29:58

and I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable in A) thinking it's too late and B) feeling like I want to move.

I'm going to literally recap this whole thing into factual points to avoid too much rambling.

Friend and I met 5 years ago, close immediately. Always have been, she's lovely and I enjoy her company.

I meet Wendy 3 years ago. I introduce them a little while later. They slowly get close. Wendy was outed as trouble by my husband immediately and despite usually being a great judge of character she flew under my radar and I ignored him. We live in very small village and she knows everyone/everything etc. loves you to know it too.

around 6 mo it appears Wendy took a dislike to me, began bitching to my friend. Due to being completely lost in the throws of depression and other personal issues I missed this shift. I later confront them about being off with me, to basically have a character assassination. (it was very petty, I didn't understand it at the time but a few months later derails of W personal life emerged and it must have just been misplaced jealousy) I was very very disappointed with my friend, knew I'd never fully forget it but love her dearly and tried to resolve and we've been ok since. I however finally clocked W and have felt very cold towards her since despite her still being polite and even friendly to my face when we see each other... but I can see straight through her and I would love to cut ties.

The more I create distance the less I see of my friend. I feel uncomfortable in my village because she's just always 'there' somehow.

I've had enough. and i don't really know what to do! I miss my friend but she's not a talker and I believe Wendy has her claws too far in now. The Trust has gone and I'm feeling like I need a fresh start.

aibu and overreacting?

Annarose2014 Fri 26-Sep-14 23:40:24

So your 1st friend laid into you too? Not sure why she's getting a pass, when Wendy isn't. She wasn't so lovely that day, was she? Or any of the previous occasions when she was bitching about you with Wendy. Takes two to have a bitching session.

Paraibalove Fri 26-Sep-14 23:42:59

I don't know. . I've never had reason not to trust friend before. I guess because we had history I tried to salvage our friendship, though as I say some trust has been broken and I was really upset over her involvement.

slinkyfiggy Fri 26-Sep-14 23:44:03

I would ditch her too. I agree you have been Wendied but she didn't have to be a weak sheep and go along with it. And the character assassination sounds awful too. There is no way in the world I would want to be friends with someone that had done that to me.

Distance yourself, spend time with other friends and leave them to get on with it. They deserve each other!!

ReverseAtMarbleArch Fri 26-Sep-14 23:58:04

Sod the pair of them! Life is too short.

hormonalandneedingcheese Sat 27-Sep-14 00:00:55

Ditch them both, Wendy as bad but your friend was worse- she should have known better.

Username12345 Sat 27-Sep-14 00:07:35

I agree. A true friend doesn't blindly believe the bitchiness about you.

Your well rid.

I feel uncomfortable in my village because she's just always 'there' somehow.

That's probably because your minds focused on her you see her everywhere. Like, when if you want a baby and you think everyone around you is suddenly pregnant.

Cut ties. Move on. Find better friends. Quality friends.

HaroldLloyd Sat 27-Sep-14 00:09:50

When you move on you will stop noticing or caring where she is.

I wouldn't make a scene or have another conversation about it, just don't bother and out your energies into socialising with nicer people.

MintyChops Sat 27-Sep-14 04:57:51

Agree with those saying to ditch them both. Your friend sounds weak and, in truth, no friend at all if she went along with Wendy.

neiljames77 Sat 27-Sep-14 05:12:22

Why is it called a Wendy?
Is it something to do with a Wendy house being small so some get left out or pushed out. Or is there a famous woman called Wendy who backstabs?

daisychain01 Sat 27-Sep-14 05:18:24

Agree with pps.

Friend 1 should have stuck by you and not be so easily led.

Wendy sounds like trouble from the word go.

Why should you care about Friend 1 she isnt doing enough to repair the situation, you are making all the effort. Get shot of them both!

Youarejustwordsonascreenpeople Sat 27-Sep-14 05:20:49

A couple of years ago there was a lady on here who had a problem like this and in her original post she called her 'friend' Wendy as a way of identifying her in a long post. It's just kind of stuck with us as a forum.

neiljames77 Sat 27-Sep-14 05:26:01

Oh. So it's just like someone who brings bad luck is a Jonah.

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle Sat 27-Sep-14 05:31:19

Its from an Enid Blighton book... Can't remember which one.

neiljames77 Sat 27-Sep-14 05:38:57

Maybe "The famous five " used to be "The famous six" until one of them got wendied.

Misseuropadiscodancer Sat 27-Sep-14 05:59:26

Not an Enid Blighting book, a Judy Blume book called Blubber.

You deserve better than this treatment OP, friends do not behave in this way.

Misseuropadiscodancer Sat 27-Sep-14 05:59:48

Enid Blighton

Squeegle Sat 27-Sep-14 06:15:55

Enid Blyton

Bowlersarm Sat 27-Sep-14 06:28:39

I'd drop them both and carry on with my life without them.

Think your original friend has behaved worse than Wendy as she hasn't been a true friend to you at all.

Paraibalove Sat 27-Sep-14 08:00:11

You are all right.. The whole situation has just been hurtful and played on my fragile state of mind perhaps more than it would have done before.

Misseuropadiscodancer Sat 27-Sep-14 08:13:12

Blyton.....I knew it didn't look right when I was typing it smile

FannyBlott Sat 27-Sep-14 08:25:04

So just distance yourself from them then?
People change, friendships change, doesn't mean this other woman is "trouble" or "has her claws in". I presume your original friend is capable of making her own decisions?
Sorry if I'm being harsh, I just really struggle to understand adults having "falling outs".
If it's making you unhappy then distance yourself and stop thinking about it.

StickEm Sat 27-Sep-14 08:36:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaucyJack Sat 27-Sep-14 08:45:30

Judy Blume

Flipflops7 Sat 27-Sep-14 11:06:29

Kudos to your husband for spotting her, husbands are usually crap at this!

flowers to you; it must be difficult in a small place.

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