Ok, I'm fairly sure I am BU but can I just check if I'm the only person in the world who would be annoyed by this?(133 Posts)
I have two DS' ages 4 and 6.
My Mum and Dad go on holiday A LOT. Probably, go abroad maybe once a month/once every 6 weeks.
About 2 years ago my Mum started sending postcards to the DS' from her holiday. Fine, lovely.
Then she decided she was going to buy a keepsake box for the DS' to keep all of the postcards from her holidays in.
It's about the size of a large shoebox - we have no storage in this house (which she knows). I used to keep it under the computer desk but the DS' kept getting hold of it, ripping the postcards or scribbling them.
I've moved it to the garage now, and I will be honest - I don't put every single postcard they send in it. My Mum is unhappy that the box is out in the garage, that I am not filing the postcards or (presumably) going through them again.
I know it's not a HUGE thing she's asking of me, but I find it annoying because:
a) there is nowhere in the house available to store them and she knows this
b) she is the least sentimental person ever and anything the DC draw or make for her gets sent out
c) at the end of the day these are memories of HER holidays, not the DS' and they are just not of the mindset, at 6 and 4 (or ever??) to want to treasure a box of postcards from someone else's holidays.
How unreasonable am I being? Would you just suck it up and file everyone of them and lovingly bring them out every now and then?
It's not really an option to leave the box at her house (as tempting as it is) as they don't live locally.
a large shoebox is not that large!
I'm sure you can find somewhere for it, under your bed maybe?
Ooooh I dunno.
I have to say, I think it's a lovely thing your mum is doing. It will really be lovely for your DC to look back on when they're older.
But she is asking a lot of you. Do you see her regularly? Why doesn't she sit down with them and do it? Can you sell it as a bonding exercise?
All postcards into the box, box in the garage and brought inside for her visits. It is a bit odd but it's not worth a row over. Bite your tongue and award yourself a slice of cake every time a card turns up.
My parents travelled lots and I'd love postcards of everywhere they went.
I know you're not fussed but your dc's may be one day.
I would take it a stage further and suggest they take the dc's on some of their adventures to experience it first hand....
I would scan the photos into my computer and throw them away. It's ridiculous to think that you could end up with what? 12 x 20 years? 240 + postcards saying oh look where I am now isn't it great.
Your mum isn't being as lovely and sweet as she thinks she is, with her ooh, look child, granny is on her 12th holiday this year, look at this picture of yet another place I am in on yet another holiday. How's your life with its lack of monthly vacations...
I'm not exactly sure why she thinks your kids are going to grow up giving a shit about her monthly holidays anyway. But scanning them in and keeping a file at least keeps them and probably in better condition than the actual postcards will be in 30 years.
Honestly, there is no room for it under my bed. I tried it put away in the DC cupboard - they emptied it out and used the box for something else and scribbled on the postcards.
You haven't seen our house - it is tiny and packed to the rafters
my Mum lives in a 6 bedroom house and wouldn't even let me leave a packet of nappies behind for when we next visiting as she doesn't like clutter
Anything that requires me to find a space in my house for something non essential annoys me.
It doubly annoys me if it is made up of / contains lots of small objects or bits DC can lose / spread around house etc.
So I think it would annoy me too but my DDs would probably love a box of postcards from Granny so it would have to be kept if it arrived here.
She ought to be keeping them at her house to chat to them about her holidays. I dont think its an unreasonable past time, after all, she must have worked hard to reap the benefits of so many holodays so nay inspire an interest in travel or a drive to earn well to afford to travel. However these are her memories. She should be the one fostering this activity with the boys, not burdening you with it.
Vital - scanning is a great idea, thank you! She won't be happy about it, but it's a suitable halfway house.
Lord, I'd chuck them in the bin. Or at the absolute most keep them in the garage. That would annoy me too.
Well...I thin YAB a bit U here. It's not really for you to define your DM's motives and find them wanting on the basis that you don't have anywhere to store their keepsake box. It seems a very harmless and nice thing for a grandparent to do and I can't really see why you don't just bung all the cards in.
That said, if you don't have room to store the box in the house it's rather U for her to be unhappy about it going in the garage. So I'd be inclined, if she tackles you about it, to say that you want to keep the box and its contents safe so that your children can enjoy it throughout their childhood and right now, that's not possible in the house.
God almighty! How can you raise two children in a house which has no room for a shoebox????
I think maybe yabu but expressing solidarity as its the kind of thing that I would find a PITA too. I mean one holiday a year maybe. It's nice to hang on to some things, but where does it end? My mil sends a thank you card if you pass her a tissue, they're all lovely to receive at the time, but you can't keep everything. Can you cut it down to a 'greatest hits collection' a folder full or similar?
I can store the shoebox - at the back of the garage or the loft. I can't store it anywhere that is easy to access in the house. This is what her gripe is.
I would tell her, there is nowhere for it as no matter where you put it they get hold of it, and don't look at them and admire them. They scribble on them and rip them up as they are 6 and 4. She is welcome to keep the box at her house.
Too many postcards
The idea is nice
In reality it's just annoying
I can understand the lack of room issue.
We are very limited in space too.Thats reality for some people Flogging.
Put them in a plastic box in the garage.They'll be fine.
If you have to keep it, get your revenge by making use of it. When your DC get to the age when you get requests for stuff relevant to topics for school, you can rummage through the box, come up with an appropriate postcard to prove that GPs went to <insert relevant place> and then demand that your DM produces lots of other material/information/whatever to complement it.
(As long as your DM isn't like mine, when the most casual mention of anything at all will produce a stream of educational links and newspaper cuttings and books and and and...)
I don't even keep my own keepsakes - let alone someone elses!
I like keepsakes, but postcards from my Grandmother's holidays? I guess of my Grandmothr that has now passed away I would like them now, as an ADULT, but I would prefer other things such as photographs and little gifts, again to open when I'm older, not as a child. Perhaps she should keep the box in her house, put things other than only postcards in it, and give to the DS' when they're older?
"Well...I thin YAB a bit U here. It's not really for you to define your DM's motives and find them wanting"
I don't think I 'defined her motives' did I? Just whinged about storing her box of crap
If you haven't the space & the kids aren't interested, who is your mum doing it for?
why does her not living locally mean that she couldn't keep cards there?
Because they wouldn't be available for the kids to look at everyday??
YA BU, I don't think it's such a big deal to put a postcard in a box once a month.
Your DC are too young to appreciate the cards now, but may well enjoy looking at them in later years.
But then, I always keep the postcards friends and family send me
Her not been local is only relevant insofar as I we probably visit her every 6 months so I'd be stockpiling...what...6 postcards and then having to remember to pack them along with everything else when we went to visit - which is almost as annoying.
She could keep them if she didn't post them but tbf the only bit the DC enjoy is them coming through the door.
What about on top of a kitchen cupboard or on top of the fridge? Really hard to believe you haven't got room for a shoebox in your house? You could put it behind a sofa or armchair maybe??
I would love to have handwritten postcards from my gp's. I have 1 letter my grandfather wrote me when I was 19 and working away and I'm 36 now and still treasure it. For me scanning them just isn't the same. When my Dad died I took his paper driving licence which he carried everywhere in the pocket of his jacket - maybe I'm just an old sentimental fool!!
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