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To wish my dh would learn to give his big mouth shut.

(54 Posts)
Maisyblue Wed 03-Sep-14 11:24:07

This is about facebook, I go on it he doesn't, but he takes an interest when I show him photos that friends and family put up. However sometimes I've shown him the odd pic that a friend of a friend has put up even though they're not on my friends list, but it's someone he knows. Nothing wrong with that is there because facebook is a social network site and anyone who puts photos up knows the whole world can see them if they wish right? I recently showed him a pic of someone he knows (but never an actual friend) who happened to be on holiday, he was mildly interested and hardly gave it any attention. Anyway the other day walking through town we bumped into this guy and after all the hellos and how are yous were out of the way, dh goes..."hey was you in Greece recently" other guy..."no I went to Turkey recently" ....dh....yes we saw you on FB, my wife saw the pics and showed them to me" Cue me going a little red in the face because I know that he knows we aren't friends on facebook. So this guy is then looking a bit quizzically at me and possibly thinking that I'm stalking him. Please believe me I wasn't. Anyway I explained in a kind of hurried embarrassed way blush I came across them through a mutual friend. Aibu that as soon as we are out of earshot I called dh stupid and all sorts of other names for causing me such embarrassment. I mean there was just no need to say anything was there.

jellybelly701 Wed 03-Sep-14 11:27:32

I would have done the same as your H in fact I have done the same as your H. He was making conversation not trying to embarrass you so yes YABU.

NoodleOodle Wed 03-Sep-14 11:31:15

Yabu DH had no reason to think the photos were private. And, I'm not sure why you were embarrassed?

Jolleigh Wed 03-Sep-14 11:38:52

Yabu. Your DH has done nothing wrong.

dawndonnaagain Wed 03-Sep-14 11:44:19

erm, poor dh. He didn't do anything wrong. Oh, and if the chap wants his pictures hidden he can adjust his security settings.

WooWooOwl Wed 03-Sep-14 11:48:33

I was going to sympathise, because my DH has about as much tact as my dog, but I don't think your DH did anything wrong.

People who use FB should know from looking on there themselves that they are sometimes shown things from friends of friends if the mutual friends have liked or commented.

You owe your DH an apology for calling him names.

Maisyblue Wed 03-Sep-14 11:50:51

I was only embarrassed at the thought that the bloke thought I might have personally seeked him out on facebook rather than come across them accidentally. I should have explained better, these pics were on his sons FB....he isn't on it, he said he didn't know anything about that kind of stuff, but I thought he might have sensed my embarrassment. Dh def knew he wasn't on my friends list. He is quite apologetic about it now.

NoodleOodle Wed 03-Sep-14 11:51:19

Is this a reverse?

CinnabarRed Wed 03-Sep-14 11:53:00

Nope, still think you're in the wrong and owe your DH an apology.

SanityClause Wed 03-Sep-14 11:54:29

Still not sure why you were embarrassed. Why would he think anything untoward? You could just say, "oh, I saw your pics on xxx's page, and showed them to DH." Unless there is a backstory?

iklboo Wed 03-Sep-14 11:55:05

Why would he think you were stalking him or deliberately sought him out? It's not the first thing that crosses my mind if someone mentions pics I'm in - I usually think we must have mutual friends.

MokunMokun Wed 03-Sep-14 11:58:14

Don't be embarrassed this stuff happens all the time with FB. Everyone knows what everyone is doing.

BaronessBomburst Wed 03-Sep-14 12:02:00

I'm also confused as to why you were embarrassed. I think you've been unfair to DH. It was all in your head. hmm

Curiouslygrumpycola Wed 03-Sep-14 12:09:22

I kind of understand where you are coming from with this one. Facebook is great for having a nosey at photos, but you don't always want to publicise that you were doing just that...having a nosey at an acquaintances life.

Your dh was in the right for instigating conversation, but more of a casual/vague, I'm sure I seen some pics on Facebook would have been better. smile

tittifilarious Wed 03-Sep-14 12:15:35

YABU but I'd have been embarrassed too. I bet my face was a picture the day I discovered people on LinkedIn can see who had viewed their profile! I'd been nosing at ex-colleagues & people I went to school with.

MsAnthropic Wed 03-Sep-14 12:16:41

YABU and should really apologise for calling him names. It's not ever justified, even when someone has done something wrong and in this case he hadn't.

Summerisle1 Wed 03-Sep-14 12:17:09

I can't really see what your DH has done. You showed him Facebook pictures of a mutual friend on holiday (I use the term in a real life context here) and now expect your DH to act as if he's never seen them?

This is the sort of thing that happens all the time. A harmless comment from your DH about pictures that were widely available on Facebook is not evidence that you were stalking anyone.

Maisyblue Wed 03-Sep-14 12:19:00

Curiously that's it! I know in the big scheme of things it's not a big deal and I know the trouble with me is I do over analyse things and get embarrassed quite easy. Dh knows this.....he never gets embarrassed over anything, he's got skin as thick as an elephant. I was caught off guard and at the time couldn't think what to say and by the time I did my embarrassment must have shown.

SanityClause Wed 03-Sep-14 12:22:40

Well, if you were embarrassed because you couldn't think what to say, why is that your DH's fault?

I think he deserves an apology. Your shortcomings are not his responsibility.

(And I say this as someone who is often socially inept and tongue tied in this kind of situation.)

Maisyblue Wed 03-Sep-14 12:36:19

Your shortcomings are not his responsability that's quite harsh isn't it and certainly not a good basis for a good marriage. Nobody is perfect and he has many shortcomings his self. In your eyes it is a shortcoming to get embarrassed easily shock....and not husbands fault? Wow.

Maisyblue Wed 03-Sep-14 12:37:41


partialderivative Wed 03-Sep-14 12:41:25

...and not husbands fault

Why is it your husband's fault that you get easily embarrassed?

Maisyblue Wed 03-Sep-14 12:53:27

Just where in any of my posts did I say it was my husbands fault? If you had a child that was very easily embarrassed would you then love to draw people's attention to it and say things that you know would embarrass her? Well it's not your fault is it....So why is it any different for an adult. I really think I should have posted in chat and possibly avoided too many unsympathetic replies. I am prepared to say iwbu but will not accept my dh has no responsibity to my shortcomings.

partialderivative Wed 03-Sep-14 12:59:02

^ In your eyes it is a shortcoming to get embarrassed easily shock....and not husbands fault? Wow^

Sounds to me like you are saying it is your husbands fault here. Apologies if I have misread.

JessieMcJessie Wed 03-Sep-14 13:00:20

"dh goes..."hey was you in Greece recently"

Your DH should keep his mouth shut until he learns to speak proper English.

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