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To call the police?

(77 Posts)
TrippedIt Tue 26-Aug-14 16:02:17

Just received a pornographic photo of my DP with another man. It is fabricated and was sent anonymously.

I know who was behind it. There was some attempt to ruin our weekend from the same person a couple of weeks ago (which we can prove was him) and we ignored it. This has now escalated and is an attempt at our relationship. This comes from a middle aged man with a wife and family and a successful business.

AIBU in calling the police or am I just overreacting and aggravating the situation?

TeaAndALemonTart Tue 26-Aug-14 16:03:47

Yes, call the police.

Showy Tue 26-Aug-14 16:05:07

Oh yes. Call the police. How awful.

TrippedIt Tue 26-Aug-14 16:06:12

Part of me wants to get straight on the phone but I am just worried that it will inflame the situation and he will have a go at our property and business. He is not a nice man.

FishWithABicycle Tue 26-Aug-14 16:08:00

Call the police. If you can prove the first incident was him then they have grounds to seize his computer and may be able to prove the second was him too.

Curlyweasel Tue 26-Aug-14 16:10:56

Call the police. You said you ignored him first time but that didn't stop him escalating things did it? Why do you think he'll stop if you leave it now? What an awful thing to do. People are bonkers confused

CookieMonsterIsHot Tue 26-Aug-14 16:13:08

Yes, police.

DoJo Tue 26-Aug-14 16:13:58

* I am just worried that it will inflame the situation and he will have a go at our property and business.*

He's already inflamed - ignoring him hasn't made him give up or realise that it's not worth it. And he's attacking the thing that is most important: your relationship, so I wouldn't be so sure that he hasn't already got plans for your home and business whatever you do.

TrippedIt Tue 26-Aug-14 16:15:33

I know you're right. I have never been as shocked in my life shock.

I don't get his motivation. We have nothing to do with him, he's not a part of our lives or us his. I don't understand why he wants to do this.

shaska Tue 26-Aug-14 16:17:45

Police definitely, in part because if this escalates further you will be glad there's a record of previous incidents.

I understand if you can't say more but what on earth is this man playing at??

Curlyweasel Tue 26-Aug-14 16:18:09

Perhaps he's ill. Whatever - you can't ignore it. x

LadyLuck10 Tue 26-Aug-14 16:20:49

He seems like a sicko, call the police.

SlightlyJadedJack Tue 26-Aug-14 16:25:49

Wow, how scary is that! I'm sure you won't be the first people he has done this to so I would call the police ASAP. Hope you're OK.

turkeygiblets Tue 26-Aug-14 16:25:59

Definitely call the police. This guy seems to be quickly escalating his activities so you need to make police aware in case of any future events. Hopefully it won't come to that but it's best to make them aware-they will take this seriously.

CookieMonsterIsHot Tue 26-Aug-14 16:27:11

Some people are RL trolls. Weird.

All you can do is call the police, get it logged, maybe their involvement will get it stopped.

Knobs like this don't become so overnight. Chances are this isn't the first time he's been in trouble. Police might know all about him already.

Viviennemary Tue 26-Aug-14 16:28:33

I'd call the police. That sounds dreadful and best to get it stopped now.

Owllady Tue 26-Aug-14 16:31:03

It's unhinged behaviour, call the police yes!

TrippedIt Tue 26-Aug-14 16:39:34

Just spoke to my DP. Agreed we're going to get the police involved.

There is a back story but don't want to say too much incase his DW is on here. Real petty falling out and he has already damaged our business as a result of it. This happened four months ago and for a while he appeared satisfied with the damage he had done. Then the petty phone calls and text messages started and now this. What if my DD had opened that envelope? We have the same initials…. I dread to think.

Ringing the police.

BlueBrightBlue Tue 26-Aug-14 16:54:24

A neighbour of mine, who I'll refer to as Jon , spurned the advances of another neighbour who was known to be a trouble maker.
Jon is straight and in a long and happy relationship.
Nothing more was said about the incident for a few months until someone called Jon to tell him he'd seen a poster nailed to a tree that stated he was a closet gay, had a tiny willy and virtually no body hair. It also said that he's been buggered by Jon and as a result had to go to A &E .
There were about 70 posters in all! It was frightening and yes people talked and did wonder if there was any truth in this rumour.
Of course it was all a pack of lies and the guy was cautioned by the police but no charges were made.
I think you need to contact the police before things get worse.

TrippedIt Tue 26-Aug-14 17:03:55

I've phoned 101 and they're going to send someone round later when DP is home.
Felt so stupid explaining on the phone about the previous messages…seemed petty.

I have started to wonder what else he would do with this picture. It's printed on photo paper and a good mock-up. There has to be a digital image and I'm worried about what else he could do with it online and in print. Can't help but worry too about where this may lead!

BlueBrightBlue Tue 26-Aug-14 17:10:49

Try not to worry OP. You've done the right thing and hopefully it will stop doing anything else to defame you and your DP.
Chances are he's done something like this before and may even have been charged or cautioned, this is unlikely to be a one off if he's as unhinged as he appears to be.
Try googling his name and see if he has been in the local paper or courts.

You've done the right thing. What a sicko

TrippedIt Tue 26-Aug-14 17:32:48

So nervous. I know he's done similar before but nobody tracked it to him.

Hope I've done the right thing.

Thank you for all your support!

ChelsyHandy Tue 26-Aug-14 17:36:38

Ignoring him the last time hasn't worked and has only made him more confident. I think police and publicising that you are being stalked by a maniac is the way to go. No-one will believe that photo anyway. And sue him for damages. Why is it your problem if his wife finds out?

BlueBrightBlue Tue 26-Aug-14 17:37:20

This is worth mentioning to the police.
Good luck x

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