I am so fucking miserable (defo not pnd just tired and overwhelmed) husband went to watch football this aft, still out and absolutely hammered and I am here on my own, as usual, dd on breast, screaming If I try to put her down for a second. I feel lonely all the time but nights are the worst.
Dd is 9 weeks old, she was sleeping in 4/5 hr chunks at night but since her jabs last week its gone back to 2-3 hrs. She wont be put down at all which means we co-sleep and I carry her around all day, my husband does very little citing the fact I am bf as the main reason as he cant do ,uch (despite me giving him examples of things hecould do). I just feel if I could bring myself to give her some formula then I could at leastmake sure I couldleave her with my mum for a couple of hours to get a break.
I struggle to trust my husband with her as we have big arguments over leaving her to cry (I wont do it).
The pressure to breastfeed is so immense and as someone who wants positive feedback, I like all the pats on the head from the various hcp's that I am doing everything right and feel like I would be letting dd down.
I have also tried expressing, I barely get time to be able to do it inbetween feeds with someone else taking care of dd mearby whilst I do it, so exprrssing enough to be meaningful isnt really an option.
I feel like my relationship is going down the pan, we are living completely seperate lives and we cant have sex because we get no time when dd will be in her travel cot/moses basket etc. I have tried all the things like warming with a hot water bottle etc, dont work.
I love my dd to distraction, feel like I am obsessed with her, but cant get my head around being desperate for some time away from her but missing her when I am in the shower (when I get the opportunity when dh or dsd can hold her).
I dont have much support as dh's parents are both dead and mine both work full time and live in another city.
Feel like I am at my witse end, The only thing I can see i can change is moving to ff and hopefully then dh would be able to do more and dd might sleep better.
Apologies for the rant, I just want to know if anyone else has felt this way and what they have done about it, thanks
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to feel like bf is ruining my life
109 replies
Beatrixemerald · 24/08/2014 22:04
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