To think our daughter should finish with her boyfriend?

[blueyonder1]

Our 19 year old daughter has been going out with her boyfriend for coming up a year now. We and various friends and relatives cannot see what she sees in him and think she is far too good for him. He's extremely scruffy, says little (even to her friends who are the same age group) and has no enthusiasm for anything. She's an intelligent uni student and over the past year we have noticed a real change in her- she seems to have lost her sense of humour and doesn't seem to bother what she looks like anymore.
We have gone along with it for this long hoping she would see the light, we are very wary of driving a wedge between her and us. Any advice? Thanks

[Tikimon]

She's 19. It's highly unlikely she's going to stick with the guy long term. Even so, the problem with people in relationships is that they can't smell their own stink. You'll never convince her, and if you try breaking her up, you might even make him more desirable by making their relationship seem like star crossed lovers.

Just grit your teeth. She's an adult. Try to find good points about him. My parents didn't like DH at first and we're very happy together and he's been very good to me. They love him now, but sometimes you just have to fake it till you make it and hope she dumps him.

[ErmagerdANerknerm]

Stay out of it. No good will come of staging some sort of intervention. If anything it will probably make her want to prove you all wrong and stay with him longer.

She isn't a child, it's really her business and not yours, unless she is in some sort of real danger.

[TheLostPelvicFloorOfPoosh]

He's scruffy?

Oh dear Lord, I hope you've called the police!

[MrsWinnibago]

I had one of those boyfriends at the same age and also lost my humour and my dress sense. My Mum HATED him and she was SO happy when he dumped me after over a year.

He was an arsehole looking back but I loved him for some unfathomable.

When it happens...and it will...just be there for her but don't tell her to finish with him. Try instead to broaden her horizons a bit...take her out somwhere new....

[blueyonder1]

Thanks for the sarcasm- made me realise how trying to be polite hasn't worked. When I say scruffy I should have included that washing himself and his clothes would mean we wouldn't have to leave the room after a few minutes to get some fresh air.