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to just want a friend?

(25 Posts)
Spiraea Sat 23-Aug-14 16:03:42

I am so lonely. I would love someone to go out for a coffee with, see a film with, invite over for a trashy movie and some wine and takeaway food.

I feel like I don't fit in with any particular part of society. I just want to know a few nice people to do bits and bobs with. When did that become so difficult. sad

HappyAgainOneDay Sat 23-Aug-14 16:06:42

Where do you live? I'm in the same boat.

EvilHerbivore Sat 23-Aug-14 16:06:47

Would you feel OK saying whereabouts you are OP? I'm sure there's be a mnetter close by who would meet up with you --there's loads of us, we're like rats, never less than 6 feet away from one!--grin

EvilHerbivore Sat 23-Aug-14 16:07:07

Damn strike through fail!

ArsenicyOldFace Sat 23-Aug-14 16:10:09

You could name a region rather than a locale.

I felt a bit like this for a while after relocating and then there was a horrible year when close friends moved away (long distance or internationally) for work. It's not much fun is it?

Ragwort Sat 23-Aug-14 16:10:11

I know this will sound like a cliche but do you have any hobbies/interests that get you out and about?

I have moved around a lot and I always make the effort to join clubs/groups/committees - anything really grin and I end up meeting like minded people - some will become friends, some won't (that's life).

Do be careful not to come across as being too desperate or needy though, I have people in my life who ask me for a coffee or whatever but don't have anything to talk about or 'do' if we meet ........... I feel sorry for them but that isn't the basis for a friendship.

Spiraea Sat 23-Aug-14 16:10:46

South Yorkshire.

I'm not even a mum (stepmum) so haven't got a mums crowd, I'm a mature student but don't fit in with the students because I have stepkids and can't spend all weekend partying, I don't fit in with most people my age because they are usually not still students and usually not stepparents.

I am however, a woman, I like normal nice things, and am tired of sitting in my bloody flat!


Spiraea Sat 23-Aug-14 16:14:11

I have been to some groups (I even made a group myself) but my studies send me to different parts of the county every 6 weeks or so, so I can never commit for very long and it never seems to be long enough to form friendships that would continue outside of the group setting without, as you say, coming across weird and needy.

I miss the friends that you can just call up randomly and say "this is happening, want to come?". I have a feeling there must be others like me but it is finding them!

EvilHerbivore Sat 23-Aug-14 16:23:46

Have you posted on the local board for your area!

MrsWinnibago Sat 23-Aug-14 16:26:26

Join the Women's Institute. It's not all jam and Jerusalem these days....our local WI go on lots of nights out and organise fun days and have a whale of a time...they see concerts and go to gigs, cafes, bars and theatres as well as all the usual crafting and lectures. Our WI has an average age of 35-40.

Ragwort Sat 23-Aug-14 16:44:45

Agree with MrsWinnibago - the WI is great smile.

Also, be open to people who are different ages/at different stages in their lives. I have friends from mid 20s to mid 90s - I am mid 50s. I can think of nothing worse than just mixing with people who are similar to me grin.

Innocentbystander01 Sat 23-Aug-14 16:47:23

I'm in South Yorkshire love a girly shop round meadowhall;)

MrsWinnibago Sat 23-Aug-14 16:50:02

Rag is right. I have a new friend who is only 26! I'm 42 almost.... would never have thought I'd have anything in common with someone so young but I do. She's a proper laugh and a neighbour!

Spiraea Sat 23-Aug-14 16:50:02

I will post on the local board - and try not to sound too pathetic.

I have just had a look at my local WI - they are at capacity for membership for 2014 but I am now on the waiting list for 2015!

ArsenicyOldFace Sat 23-Aug-14 17:18:25

You don't sound pathetic. It's just one of those life-stage things that can happen sometimes.

Shockers Sat 23-Aug-14 20:29:21

What about a book club?

BolshierAyraStark Sat 23-Aug-14 20:43:14

South Yorkshire is pretty big.... I'm in Sheffield.
The gym is a cracking place to get chatting I've found.

kappadelta Sat 23-Aug-14 22:24:43

OP I'm South Yorkshire too grin

Spiraea Sun 24-Aug-14 08:59:12

Thanks everyone. To all you South Yorkshire ladies - I posted on the local Sheffield board to see if anyone likes the same kind of activities and would like to go together - if so drop me a PM!

I only go to pilates at the gym - but as soon as it finishes everyone just seems to dissipate and there's no chatting before / after (or during!). Perhaps pilates is the wrong kind of thing...

kappadelta Sun 24-Aug-14 20:58:06

OP - I couldn't find your post in Local. I'm in Rotherham and also a mature student grin

MyBaby1day Mon 25-Aug-14 03:51:33

Hey, I'm in West Yorkshire and am always up for making new friends, if you want to ever meet up PM me and we'll sort something out! smile. Glad people are responding OP, I know it can be hard at times but you'll find some friends and you're own little niche in time. Here if you ever feel lonely!.

JessieMcJessie Mon 25-Aug-14 09:05:56

OP, you say you have step kids so I am assuming you have a DH- are you getting enough support from him? Is he working particularly long hours if you feel you are sitting in alone and have nobody to go to things with? Or is it that you never do anything without the kids in tow? Your DH should be your friend as well as your partner, sounds like he may be forgetting that?

FatewiththeLeadPiping Mon 25-Aug-14 09:07:07

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

wheresthelight Mon 25-Aug-14 11:08:40

I am north derbyshire hun and in similar boat! pm me

Spiraea Mon 25-Aug-14 11:29:35

Thanks everyone. My post is in the Sheffield forum (not the South Yorkshire one - perhaps should have put it in there...) - asking if anyone wants to do stuff together, probably better than just meeting for a random coffee but I might be wrong!

DP and I are long distance which accounts for the loneliness in the week, and makes it hard to commit to regular clubs/groups - there are things I would like to do at the weekend but weekends (at least every other weekend) are often spent all together because we don't see each other otherwise. That's why I particularly miss my friend who moved away - we would see each other just for the odd couple of hours once or twice a week, it didn't require a regular Saturday morning or anything!

Anyway thanks for your nice posts - I may have a case of the Bank holiday weekend blues (bloody dreary weather too) - perhaps returning to the daily grind tomorrow will perk me up! flowers

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