To hate, loathe and detest when mothers

[Norklessnora]

Call themselves a 'full time mum'. You are either a stay at home mum, or a working mum. All are full time parents and all work bloody hard. Hate it.

[everydayaschoolday]

YANBU. I've been both.

[LalyRawr]

Ha, I was literally just thinking the same thing.

So for the 24 hours a week I work, I stop being my daughter's mother? Does this mean that, seeing as her Dad works 50 hours and is also clearly a part time parent, that she is technically an orphan for 24 hours a week?

I know what people mean when they say it, but it is an odd choice of words. I'm still her mum (unfortunately for her!) wether I'm physically with her or not.

[WorraLiberty]

I think 'hate, loathe and detest' is a bit strong but yes, it's a silly thing to call themselves.

[MrsWinnibago]

I think they do it to illustrate that they see parenting as a difficult and tiring job just as much as working full time is. It's probably a way of deflecting comments about being a sAHM being easy.

[Finney2]

Doesn't bother me. It's just a turn of phrase and I think it's fine as long as it's not meant as an insult ( and I've never heard it used as one). I work part-time if that's relevant, and I would never dream of being insulted by the phrase.

[Mrsgrumble]

I agree it's a phrase. It's probably to avoid the old fashioned term housewife or homemaker.

It doesn't offend me.

[Finney2]

And I also agree with boysclothes that you're having a pop at another OP. Not all that sensitive really.

[Mintyy]

Yabu. Totally irrational to feel so strongly about a benign turn of phrase.

[HygieneFreak]

Full time mum just means that you look after your children during working hours instead of them going to nursery etc.

You are still a mother of course if you work and your child goes to nursery, it just means that you dont look after your child full time.

[WorraLiberty]

Mind you, if you want to over think everything and really give yourself a headache...

SAHMs do actually leave the house during the day, so what sort of Mum are they when they do this?

SAHBSPONAAM (staying at home but still popping out now and again mum)

[LadyLuck10]

I think it's used to cover up insecurity, but I would ignore it.

[Mintyy]

Oh, didn't realise this was a taat.

[Norklessnora]

I'm not having a pop at another OP? I don't know which one you mean - I'm actually talking about conversations I've had, or things I have seen on (bloody) Facebook.

Hate loathe and detest is clearly me exaggerating a tad. But it does get on my nerves!

[HaroldLloyd]

Someone saying they are a full time mother, isn't saying they are calling anyone else part time mothers.

It's not an implied insult.

If someone did say that obviously that would be knobeqsue, but I don't think the vast majority of people intend any offence.

[Norklessnora]

But I am a full time mother - if I was called at work to pick DC up from nursery/school then of course I would immediately. I don't stop being a mother simply because I am at work.

[dietcokeandwine]

Oh God, this thread won't end well. They never do

OP I kind of see what you mean (I too have done both WOHP and SAHP role, currently SAHP) but I do think that for the vast majority of people it's a turn of phrase. Nothing more, nothing less. I tend to say 'I'm at home with the kids full time' - which is true, I am.

Agree with worra that 'hate, loathe and detest' is slightly strong. Those words should be reserved 'we're pregnant'

[Mumoftwoyoungkids]

Doesn't bother me.

[PrincessOfChina]

What about if SAHM's send their kids to nursery or school? Are they just stay at home women for those hours of the day?

[winkywinkola]

I understand what someone means by the term 'full time' parent. It means they don't work outside of the home, they stay with their children.

I don't see it as commenting on another parent that works outside of the home as a lesser parent.

I think it's petty to take umbrage against such a phrase.

You're seeing insult where there is none.

Get angry about something worthwhile perhaps.

[Norklessnora]

No need to call me a cock, boysclothes. Not everyone reads every thread title on here prior to posting, in order to avoid causing offence.

[dietcokeandwine]

Should be reserved for the hideous phrase 'we're pregnant', that should have said.

[HumphreyCobbler]

I don't think anyone who used that phrase is implying that mothers who work are not proper mothers, just that they stay at home with their children. IMO the insecurity comes from working mothers who perceive it as a slight. It is just a phrase.

I have been a working mother and a stay at home mother. I couldn't have cared less if someone had used the phrase to me to describe themselves when I worked full time.

[OwlCapone]

You are either a stay at home mum, or a working mum.

so, you are saying that a SAHM doesn't do any work? I hate loathe and detest when mothers imply that I don't do anything.
[innocent]

You need to stop looking for things to be offended by. Life is far more pleasant.

[ashtrayheart]

Why do people care I work ft, dp is a 'full time dad' or whatever, I don't care what people refer to themselves as!