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To hate, loathe and detest when mothers

(228 Posts)
Norklessnora Thu 21-Aug-14 21:36:42

Call themselves a 'full time mum'. You are either a stay at home mum, or a working mum. All are full time parents and all work bloody hard. Hate it.

everydayaschoolday Thu 21-Aug-14 21:38:09

YANBU. I've been both.

LalyRawr Thu 21-Aug-14 21:39:19

Ha, I was literally just thinking the same thing.

So for the 24 hours a week I work, I stop being my daughter's mother? Does this mean that, seeing as her Dad works 50 hours and is also clearly a part time parent, that she is technically an orphan for 24 hours a week?

I know what people mean when they say it, but it is an odd choice of words. I'm still her mum (unfortunately for her!) wether I'm physically with her or not.

WorraLiberty Thu 21-Aug-14 21:39:29

I think 'hate, loathe and detest' is a bit strong but yes, it's a silly thing to call themselves.

MrsWinnibago Thu 21-Aug-14 21:40:28

I think they do it to illustrate that they see parenting as a difficult and tiring job just as much as working full time is. It's probably a way of deflecting comments about being a sAHM being easy.

Boysclothes Thu 21-Aug-14 21:40:47

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Finney2 Thu 21-Aug-14 21:41:20

Doesn't bother me. It's just a turn of phrase and I think it's fine as long as it's not meant as an insult ( and I've never heard it used as one). I work part-time if that's relevant, and I would never dream of being insulted by the phrase.

Mrsgrumble Thu 21-Aug-14 21:42:29

I agree it's a phrase. It's probably to avoid the old fashioned term housewife or homemaker.

It doesn't offend me.

Finney2 Thu 21-Aug-14 21:42:45

And I also agree with boysclothes that you're having a pop at another OP. Not all that sensitive really.

Mintyy Thu 21-Aug-14 21:44:10

Yabu. Totally irrational to feel so strongly about a benign turn of phrase.

HygieneFreak Thu 21-Aug-14 21:44:22

Full time mum just means that you look after your children during working hours instead of them going to nursery etc.

You are still a mother of course if you work and your child goes to nursery, it just means that you dont look after your child full time.

WorraLiberty Thu 21-Aug-14 21:44:29

Mind you, if you want to over think everything and really give yourself a headache...

SAHMs do actually leave the house during the day, so what sort of Mum are they when they do this? grin

SAHBSPONAAM (staying at home but still popping out now and again mum)

LadyLuck10 Thu 21-Aug-14 21:44:30

I think it's used to cover up insecurity, but I would ignore it.

Mintyy Thu 21-Aug-14 21:45:09

Oh, didn't realise this was a taat.

Norklessnora Thu 21-Aug-14 21:45:15

I'm not having a pop at another OP? I don't know which one you mean - I'm actually talking about conversations I've had, or things I have seen on (bloody) Facebook.

Hate loathe and detest is clearly me exaggerating a tad. But it does get on my nerves!

HaroldLloyd Thu 21-Aug-14 21:45:41

Someone saying they are a full time mother, isn't saying they are calling anyone else part time mothers.

It's not an implied insult.

If someone did say that obviously that would be knobeqsue, but I don't think the vast majority of people intend any offence.

Norklessnora Thu 21-Aug-14 21:46:19

But I am a full time mother - if I was called at work to pick DC up from nursery/school then of course I would immediately. I don't stop being a mother simply because I am at work.

dietcokeandwine Thu 21-Aug-14 21:47:07

Oh God, this thread won't end well. They never do grin

OP I kind of see what you mean (I too have done both WOHP and SAHP role, currently SAHP) but I do think that for the vast majority of people it's a turn of phrase. Nothing more, nothing less. I tend to say 'I'm at home with the kids full time' - which is true, I am.

Agree with worra that 'hate, loathe and detest' is slightly strong. Those words should be reserved 'we're pregnant' angry grin

Mumoftwoyoungkids Thu 21-Aug-14 21:48:14

Doesn't bother me.

PrincessOfChina Thu 21-Aug-14 21:48:28

What about if SAHM's send their kids to nursery or school? Are they just stay at home women for those hours of the day?

winkywinkola Thu 21-Aug-14 21:48:36

I understand what someone means by the term 'full time' parent. It means they don't work outside of the home, they stay with their children.

I don't see it as commenting on another parent that works outside of the home as a lesser parent.

I think it's petty to take umbrage against such a phrase.

You're seeing insult where there is none.

Get angry about something worthwhile perhaps.

Norklessnora Thu 21-Aug-14 21:49:06

No need to call me a cock, boysclothes. Not everyone reads every thread title on here prior to posting, in order to avoid causing offence.

dietcokeandwine Thu 21-Aug-14 21:49:15

Should be reserved for the hideous phrase 'we're pregnant', that should have said.

HumphreyCobbler Thu 21-Aug-14 21:49:26

I don't think anyone who used that phrase is implying that mothers who work are not proper mothers, just that they stay at home with their children. IMO the insecurity comes from working mothers who perceive it as a slight. It is just a phrase.

I have been a working mother and a stay at home mother. I couldn't have cared less if someone had used the phrase to me to describe themselves when I worked full time.

ashtrayheart Thu 21-Aug-14 21:50:21

Why do people care hmm I work ft, dp is a 'full time dad' or whatever, I don't care what people refer to themselves as!

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