I am going to a wedding soon, in the back end of beyond. BF is driving me and my 2 DC down there the night before. We could go under our own steam but it would be a nightmare journey, and involve a hefty taxi fare as the nearest station is about 15 miles away!
I am a bridesmaid, and my teen DC are also part of the bridal 'party'. BF is a relatively new relationship (4 months, will be 5 by the wedding) and has only recently met my DC, but so far they get on well albeit it's still early days - so they are used to seeing/talking to him, but so far only with me around.
So, the bride has decreed that the night before the wedding we are to celebrate her 'last night of freedom' and this is girls only. The other women who will be there are either childless like the bride, or one has a young DC who will be at home with her DP (they live nearby and DP/DC are not travelling up til the morning). The groom and other men in the bridal party live about 30 miles away, so are also coming on the morning.
I've said that whilst I will come along to this celebration for a couple of hours, I'm not spending all night there (because it's not fair on my DC being stuck in a hotel room, nor on my BF who will be on his own). This has caused uproar, and I've been told by the others I should be putting my friends first, etc -the assumption seems to be that I'm saying this simply because of my BF, but I'm not, if he wasn't there my DC would still be on their own (and whilst they're fine on their own from a safety perspective, I know they will be utterly bored after a couple of hours in a hotel room). My BF will be happy to spend a bit of time with them in my absence, but I know will feel slightly awkward/uncomfortable in that way you do with kids you don't really know (I know that's how I feel around my DC's friends for example).
The other suggestion was that we come on our own, and BF drives up the morning of the wedding instead - meaning me and the DC have a crappy, long and expensive train journey to get there the night before - and DC still end up on their own in the evening!
I really don't feel saying 'ok I'll come along for a couple of hours but that's it' is being horribly unreasonable? When this was planned (very vaguely, before I was with my BF, but of course when me and DC were still going) we were asked to come the night before - which I agreed - the bride said she wanted to have a few drinks with us all, but I'd understood her to be including my DC in that, not expecting me to leave them on their own for the night.
I should add the bride has already had a hen night and hen weekend (I only went to the latter) so I do feel I have done my bit in terms of celebrating with her already!
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Another wedding one! (sorry)
42 replies
VelvetSpoon · 19/08/2014 17:31
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