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DH bought someone an eternity ring when I was out of town. AIBU to freak out?

(131 Posts)
Topaz25 Sat 16-Aug-14 22:25:50

I have been out of town for two weeks helping to care for my dying grandmother. She sadly passed away on Monday and I returned home a few days ago. Since then things have been up and down with my husband and we have argued. He seems distant since I got back, which was a bit of a red flag. OTOH I am obviously tense and over sensitive at the moment.

Tonight I found (in the open, I wasn't snooping) a receipt showing that he purchased a silver eternity ring while I was out of town. The ring is not my size and I do not have a birthday or other special occasion coming up. I suppose it is possible that he bought the ring to cheer me up (and forgot my size) and then hasn't given it to me because we argued. Something else that worries me is this ring was purchased from a shop that has several branches in our home town but it was not purchased here, it was purchased from a branch in a nearby town. I don't even know why he would be there. Another issue is that it was purchased on a Monday. Monday is normally my husband's day off but recently he told me was doing overtime on Mondays. AIBU to be concerned? AIBU to confront him? I don't want to come across as paranoid and start another argument. WWYD?

ICanSeeTheSun Sat 16-Aug-14 22:46:36

I would ask if someone has lost a recipt of a ring purchase.

FreeLikeABird Sat 16-Aug-14 22:49:10

Hmmm I think you need to ask him, it doesn't sound great.

SnotandBothered Sat 16-Aug-14 22:49:16

I second the approach suggested by ThatSmells.

Sorry to hear about your Grandma OP sad

FreeLikeABird Sat 16-Aug-14 22:49:36

Sorry for your loss op.

CarryOn90 Sat 16-Aug-14 22:49:42

OP, maybe you can just confront him and if there's nothing dodgy going on he will be able to hand over the ring?

If it has been given to somebody else, he won't have it

GetYourFingersOutOfThere Sat 16-Aug-14 22:50:20

I'm sorry for your loss.

In regards to your DHs I think you should ask him out right seeing as you found the receipt without snooping.

I hope it turns out well for you.

scottishmummy Sat 16-Aug-14 22:50:36

Lets not idly speculate.or you'll get an embellished screenplay via mn
Quite simply -ask him

Topaz25 Sat 16-Aug-14 22:52:36

Ok I asked him and he said he bought the ring for my birthday, which is not for another few months. He thought it was my size and he went to the shop in the nearby town because they had that size in stock and the ones near us didn't. I still think we need to work on our issues as obviously I wouldn't have been suspicious if things were going well. We're considering couples counselling.

BolshierAyraStark Sat 16-Aug-14 22:53:18

Hmmm, I don't know my ring size so certainly wouldn't expect DH to nor my taste which is why it would never be a good idea to surprise me with said item

Don't go in all guns blazing assuming the worst as that's not the way to deal with this, wait until the grief is less raw & the arguing has subsided.


RabbitSaysWoof Sat 16-Aug-14 22:53:24

flowers I think you need to ask him too.

BolshierAyraStark Sat 16-Aug-14 22:54:11

X post.

AgentZigzag Sat 16-Aug-14 22:56:40

Do you believe him?

Why did he buy it now? Was it on offer or do you have a glut of cash laying around or something?

It's a thoughtful gift though, especially if you're going through a rough patch.

WhatTheFork Sat 16-Aug-14 22:57:48

Did he also show you the ring?

Topaz25 Sat 16-Aug-14 23:08:21

I'm inclined to believe him. He doesn't seem guilty. I think he got a good offer, which would also explain why it wasn't available in all sizes in all branches. He doesn't normally plan presents this far in advance but he was thinking of me because I was away.

ValerieTheVodkaFairy Sat 16-Aug-14 23:10:08

I think it sounds very guilty, combined with the overtime. Hope it's what he says, but keep an eye on him.

I agree that he should show you the ring

GetYourFingersOutOfThere Sat 16-Aug-14 23:14:33

Did he show you the ring?

AgentZigzag Sat 16-Aug-14 23:15:53

Is an eternity ring something a bloke would buy a woman he's having an affair with? (if he was having an affair, although what he's said sounds plausible to me)

Surely it'd be necklace/earrings/bracelet?

scottishmummy Sat 16-Aug-14 23:22:52

You know what there are people on mn worthy of screenwriter for eastenders
Love good slabber and froth to get a salacious reason,for everything
As opposed to the mundane explanation

Topaz25 Sat 16-Aug-14 23:24:47

He showed me the ring so it seems like this was a misunderstanding blush. Luckily he is more amused than annoyed. In my defence, he's never normally this organised!

AgentZigzag Sat 16-Aug-14 23:27:21

Awww, all's well that ends well smile

Well? Do you like it??

Topaz25 Sat 16-Aug-14 23:28:01

Yes, very pretty.

scottishmummy Sat 16-Aug-14 23:28:35

So next time just ask instead of assuming worst,and the mn screamers pile in

YouTheCat Sat 16-Aug-14 23:29:33

I think the fact that he was thinking ahead and thinking of you bodes well. smile

Topaz25 Sat 16-Aug-14 23:30:06

The positive side of this is that it made me really realise we need to work on our relationship as I wouldn't have been worried about it if we hadn't been arguing. And it made me see he was thinking of me when I was away.

scottishmummy Sat 16-Aug-14 23:34:38

Im glad it's a positive resolution
Maybe next time ask your partner
As opposed to strangers online

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