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CSI. Seriously? AIBU to think that it's bolleaux?

(67 Posts)
Salmotrutta Fri 15-Aug-14 22:38:35

For a start, crime scenes are covered in tents and shit here in the UK.

There would never be a scenario where a murder victim's body would be wheeled out in full view of the vultures press with Micronesia being poked in the faces of detectives as they go about their business.

Would that really happening the USA?

Because if it does then the USA is doing it wrong?

And another thing: our SOCOs (scenes of crime officers) here in the UK wear disposable jumpsuits and face masks to minimise contamination.

But apparently "Horatio" and his team don't have to.


Salmotrutta Fri 15-Aug-14 22:39:27



shitatusernames Fri 15-Aug-14 22:46:10

I bloody love C.S.I.

Had stopped watching it for a while, and have started again, normally I miss the 1st 5 minutes though, so I can't remember about the tents.

cricketpitch Fri 15-Aug-14 22:50:54

I love it too. I am amazed that you would wear a tight white trouser suit and high heels to a murder scene though - or AIBU to worry about corns and dry cleaning bills?

Suefla62 Fri 15-Aug-14 22:50:55

I live in the States and our CSIs don't interview suspects and solve the case either.

AbbieHoffmansAfro Fri 15-Aug-14 22:51:03

It's not bolleaux, it's unmitigated horseshit.

coppertop Fri 15-Aug-14 22:52:10

I love the way the women lean over to take samples with their long hair hanging down over the evidence.

No contamination there then...

SantanaLopez Fri 15-Aug-14 22:53:56

Are they all wearing their white jeans too? grin

Salmotrutta Fri 15-Aug-14 22:54:25

Apparently, in the USA, if you get murdered your body will be wheeled out inf full view of a waiting barrage of journalists.

Then, apparently, the detective leading the investigation will go all gung-ho on your ass and quote Virgil or some such...

An exaggeration possibly but really?

TurquoiseCat Fri 15-Aug-14 23:01:26

Csi is pure bolleaux!

Bil is a fingerprint expert and loves csi. He did the studio tour and they asked him a fingerprint related question for a script.

He told them it was impossible, but they did it anyway!

I can't watch csi after it made my blood boil over zooming into grainy CCTV to get a reflection from the victims eye. THAT'S FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!

Much prefer ncis!

Salmotrutta Fri 15-Aug-14 23:38:05

Well quite.

Let's just say (without outing myself) that I know a thing or two as does a certain relative (who actually is a CSI) and it's quote simply bolleaux.

Grinds my gears.

EatShitDerek Fri 15-Aug-14 23:42:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iK8 Fri 15-Aug-14 23:45:56

I always wonder why in the Vegas one they don't turn the bloody lights on? If I can hardly see what's happening because they're all in the dark how can they see teeny tiny fibres n' shit?

7Days Fri 15-Aug-14 23:46:47


that's just the way he rolls

NoraRobertsismyguiltypleasure Fri 15-Aug-14 23:51:09

Love CSI Vegas, never really got into the other ones. Of course it's 'bolleaux', but it makes brilliantly entertaining tv. If you worried all the time about accuracy then you'd never watch anything!

ChasedByBees Fri 15-Aug-14 23:59:50

CSI is amazing, I won't hear a bad word said about it!

But yes, the plot lines are mostly impossible.

Salmotrutta Sat 16-Aug-14 00:06:04

I do rather like David Caruso I must admit.

... I remember him in NYPD Blue...

ADHDNoodles Sat 16-Aug-14 00:13:19

CSI is nothing like our real justice system.

I'll put it into perspective, our legal system is more backed up and disorganized than your NHS system.

But the one time I did see a dead body on the side of the road, they were setting up white blankets so that no one could look at it. I assume they held blankets as EMTs ushered the body into the ambulance and down to the morgue.

But, if you look at our news sites, you don't see any dead bodies. I'm sure there's laws around snuff photos and journalism.

ScrambledSmegs Sat 16-Aug-14 00:13:31

Total bolleaux. Vegas is very enjoyable, the others made me hmm a lot. Especially NY. They had THE WORST tech related dialogue ever on that show, it's gone down in geek history.

'GUI interface in Visual Basic' if you're interested. Even typing it is painful.

TraceyTrickster Sat 16-Aug-14 00:23:59

and has anyone noticed that every programme, they mention finding epithelials...I think one of the writers either loves that word, or has a bet to have it said at least once per prog.

BeyoncesCat Sat 16-Aug-14 00:33:22

Haha grin

Salmotrutta Sat 16-Aug-14 01:21:46

"Epithelial" is just so crap isn't it?

So basically you are saying it could be any one of a number of "lining" cells within the body.

And lest we forget - a stomach epithelium will be somewhat different to a dermal epithelium etc.

Bolleaux I tell you.

FreudiansSlipper Sat 16-Aug-14 04:41:23

I love the Vegas CSI it's great entertainment and educational too grin well the few I have seen

Sadly I missed the one where there was no evidence as it had been tampered with but then amazingly the perpetrator had overlooked something and his reflection was able to be seen in passerby's (of course on the otherside of a huge sidewalk) sunglasses, they were then able to get a detailed picture and he was of course caught. I am sad I missed this particular episode my friend said he was blown away by the sheer ridiculousness brilliance of it

The press always seem to be at a crime seen when police are still arriving from what've have seen (and friends personal account) on the news in the states

Flangeshrub Sat 16-Aug-14 04:46:26

They never turn the lights on. Walk around in the dark looking with torches. Horatio and his sunglasses make him such a (loveable) twat.

Love it all though.

Mrsmorton Sat 16-Aug-14 05:53:01

Yes! Complete shit. They don't spend ages writing statements to police officers, "no it's a masters degree, no. It isnt in dentistry, just write master of science brackets... MSc, no...Oh FFS, can I just write it myself?"

<<-- what actually happens when making the evidence chain, you have to give a statement including your qualifications and circumstances surrounding why you have this info. They would spend the whole episode doing that!! (I do forensic dentistry as well as general practice)

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