DP is 5 years older than his brother. They are totally different in personality and achievement. DP has a family, brother has had several relationships that have failed and has no children. DP is 46 his brother 41.
Their father died last year after many years of illness but made savvy choices when buying property and their mother is now very comfortably off.
Now here is the problem. The mother has sold one property to fund a move (near us and her sister) but has substantial cash in bank. The brother has now sold his property and has put an offer on a purchase in our area however the difference between what he will make and what he requires to fund new purchase is approx £70k.
Without discussing the proposition with DP, the mother has agreed to fund the difference so brother doesn't have to take out mortgage and pay interest. The idea was vaguely mooted to DP at weekend and he said he wasn't happy with the offer as she is not treating the brothers equally.
It has now been presented as a fait accompli with other members of the immediate family saying brother needs the help, he is on his own and he is lonely.
DP feels upset and slighted because all are assuming that he/we are fine and don't need the same financial assitance but they appear to be ignoring the fact that DP has a family to support, why does his mother not seem concerned that we are paying a mortgage and we have to pay interest? We don't need the money DP Works hard for the nice house and treats we have - but why is his brother being handed the money with absolutely no discussion about how DP feels - he gas had money in the past that he should have paid back, didn't and now mother said she never expected it back - DP hasn't been given the same amount of cash...
The mother now has a monthly rental income coming in as well as various investments so helping the brother is not causing her to compromise her lifestyle.
There has been other instances where the brother has been favoured but this is the icing on the cake.... Is DP unreasonable to feel upset about this? I would always think what you do for one you should always do for the other.
Thanks for reading btw - we found out about house purchase via internet / knowing estate agent well and not a peep from his mother today.
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AIBU?
Unreasonable favouritism
65 replies
Lexie1970 · 13/08/2014 21:26
OP posts:
Strictlyballroom ·
13/08/2014 21:53
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Strictlyballroom ·
14/08/2014 07:13
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